Attractive women: do you use your looks to get what you want in everyday life?

[BlueEyedGirl]

And I don't mean "use your looks" as in sleeping with men. But say subtle flirting on a job interview, with college lecturer, and generally men that you can see you have an effect on. Just wondering to what degree women do this (conciously and unconciously - and yes I know I probably spelled that wrong ).

[crazy_grl]

I would never flirt at a job interview, with my boss, or with a professor. I would never want to risk one of those people thinking I had interest in them or worse yet that I would give them 'favors' in exchange for a job or grade. When I'm dealing with people in a professional capacity, I act professionally.

[phyrespryte]

That's kind of a weird question.

If you're using your looks then you don't really need to flirt...

I think.

 

Anyways I've never flirted to get what I want. I do know that certain men have been more patient/lenient with me because of my looks.

[BlueEyedGirl]

I'm asking so that I can hear opinions on how common this is. And I didn't mean real flirting, just being pleasant and smiling a lot (most men will mistake that for flirting anyway). I guess it all comes down to that age old question: do beautiful people have it easier in life (dating/love life excluded) than non-attractive ones?

[Island Girl]

If you're using your looks then you don't really need to flirt...

 

I've never had to flirt or, as I would see it, feel the need to 'enhance' my qualifications by flirting, being suggestive, or anything else that to me would somehow acknowledge that my talents are not enough to get respect, a job, or whatever.

 

I like to be selected based on who I am not what I look like.

 

I am aware of preferential treatment that I may receive on occasion but it is in no way solicited.

 

Sometimes it works the opposite way, because of the unwanted attention, I end up not taking jobs, places to live, "special deals" on goods and services because I am so creeped out or grossed out by the way some guys leer at me or -- sheesh -- the things they say that they think I'll find enticing or attractive! YUCK.

[crazy_grl]

just being pleasant and smiling a lot

 

That's called being friendly. Attractive or not, a person who's being friendly is going to get more from people than someone who frowns and complains all day. An attractive person might get more 'special treatment' than an unattractive person, but they shouldn't be expected to act rude and negative just to make up for being attractive.

[lovestruck234]

I don't think that a truly beautiful or attractive woman feels the need to "use her looks" to get what she wants.

 

I am a generally happy, polite and friendly person. This doesn't JUST apply for job interviews, or once again, getting something I want.

 

I'm not a big flirter anyway. I kinda just act the way I do around people that makes both them and I comfortable. If they like me for who I am ,GREAT! I've made a friend. If they don't like me, no big deal...

 

Using your body to manipulate and work around people to achieve what you want is not the right way to go about things, I don't believe.

 

Be genuine, use that other quality you have....I think it's called PERSONALITY.

[Kittiecat]

And I don't mean "use your looks" as in sleeping with men. But say subtle flirting on a job interview, with college lecturer, and generally men that you can see you have an effect on. Just wondering to what degree women do this (conciously and unconciously - and yes I know I probably spelled that wrong ).

 

Why is this thread directed towards attractive women? What about average, Plain Jane, run of the mill chicks?

 

I do believe that you get further in life by being nice - to men, women, animals, policemen, whatever.

 

Speaking as a Plain Jane myself, I can attest that being sweet to the right people can get you a nice raise working at a relatively cushy job, getting to work for a fantastic, generous, easygoing boss who (almost) never gets snappy, etc.

 

Have I played nice with people I absolutely can't stand? Of course. It's all part of the "grin and bear it" game. I'm not sure if sex appeal was ever a factor - if it was I certainly never used it consciously. For me it was just about being warm, open and friendly with everyone (but not in that sickening "Good Moooorning Everyone!!!!" way - can't stand those people ).

 

In general it's made my job a lot easier.

[magichands]

And I don't mean "use your looks" as in sleeping with men. But say subtle flirting on a job interview, with college lecturer, and generally men that you can see you have an effect on. Just wondering to what degree women do this (conciously and unconciously - and yes I know I probably spelled that wrong ).

They don't have to...men are biased.

[norajane]

I flirt all the time, with everyone - men, women, old, young - if flirting is being friendly, looking people in the eye, smiling, and generally being interested in who I'm talking to.

 

Having said that, if I arrive at the AA ticket counter and need to completely revamp my itinerary at the last minute, given a choice, I will walk up to the guy at the counter rather than the woman. I know it will seem like less of a hassle to the guy because he's helping an "attractive" woman out and will "enjoy" the transaction a little more...

 

Same goes for any kind of customer service issues, if I have an option of male or female service person.

 

Guys do this, too, though. One of my former co-workers and I used to travel a lot together, and he's a natural flirt. He flirts and jokes with everyone. I noticed that he gets great service from women - hotels, restaurants, airports, stores, receptionists - they enjoy talking with him and flirting a little, so he ends up with the nicest room available, the best table, etc. Oh, and it's not even that he's the most handsome guy ever - it's his personality and the charm/flirtation that is appealing and makes the transaction more enjoyable.

[a4a]

I flirt all the time, with everyone - men, women, old, young - if flirting is being friendly, looking people in the eye, smiling, and generally being interested in who I'm talking to.

 

Having said that, if I arrive at the AA ticket counter and need to completely revamp my itinerary at the last minute, given a choice, I will walk up to the guy at the counter rather than the woman. I know it will seem like less of a hassle to the guy because he's helping an "attractive" woman out and will "enjoy" the transaction a little more...

 

Same goes for any kind of customer service issues, if I have an option of male or female service person.

 

.

 

What if the guy is gay or the woman is a lesbian...... ??

 

Honestly I find that more attractive people just get better service 99% of the time regardless of who is waiting on them. Of course if you come off as a snotty attractive person you will end up with spat upon food, or your luggage will end up in Iowa.

[elijahBailey]

Why is this thread directed towards attractive women? What about average, Plain Jane, run of the mill chicks?

 

they have it harder.

it's true.

 

If I was a bartender and Jessica Alba and Plain Jane walks in at the same time and sits by the bar counter, I know who I'm gonna serve first.

[tanbark813]

I use my looks to get free drinks from gay dudes.

[elijahBailey]

I use my looks to get free drinks from gay dudes.

 

 

wow, sounds like they buy drinks for anybody

[tanbark813]

 

wow, sounds like they buy drinks for anybody

 

Don't be jealous.

[SmoochieFace]

I don't treat 'attractive' women any 'better' than 'plain Janes'.

 

Sometimes I get the impression that 'attractive' women have a 'sense of entitlement' simply because of their looks. That garbage doesn't work with me. You're not gonna score any extra points with me just because you may have a 'hot' face or body. And it's easy to spot those women who are arrogant in that way... and see right through their little charade.

[Moose]

I don't treat 'attractive' women any 'better' than 'plain Janes'.

 

Sometimes I get the impression that 'attractive' women have a 'sense of entitlement' simply because of their looks. That garbage doesn't work with me. You're not gonna score any extra points with me just because you may have a 'hot' face or body. And it's easy to spot those women who are arrogant in that way... and see right through their little charade.

Amen to that. I know just what you mean there. I just love shootin' women like that down too......they look like deer in a headlight....completely off guard....

[noclobber]

do beautiful people have it easier in life (dating/love life excluded) than non-attractive ones?

 

YES, without a doubt

[SmoochieFace]

Amen to that. I know just what you mean there. I just love shootin' women like that down too......they look like deer in a headlight....completely off guard....

 

Wow... we actually agree on something!

 

I know what you mean about the look they give... priceless.

[SmoochieFace]

YES, without a doubt

 

They have it easier because people allow them to have it easier. It's such BS, IMO.

[norajane]

What if the guy is gay or the woman is a lesbian...... ??

 

Honestly I find that more attractive people just get better service 99% of the time regardless of who is waiting on them. Of course if you come off as a snotty attractive person you will end up with spat upon food, or your luggage will end up in Iowa.

 

Gay men are great - many love to flirt and they're good at it!! Lesbians, less so...

 

I think if you're friendly to people in general, you get better service. If you're not friendly, no amount of 'attractiveness' will get you more than anyone else.

 

Howevah...is it 'easier' for attractive people to be friendly in general because people are more open to them and friendlier to them to begin with?

 

There was an episode of "Suddenly Susan" - remember that show with Brooke Shields and Kathy Griffin? They had a similar debate about attractiveness and whether it gets you more. Brooke was adamant that she got nice treatment from people simply because she was nice to them. Kathy was adamant that looks make a difference in whether people are nice to you. So, Brooke wears a fake large nose for a while and - in true sitcom fashion - Kathy is proved right in that the same people who were always smiling and nice to Brooke, like the guy at the newsstand, were all snarly and not-nice when she was "unattractive" with her big nose...

[quankanne]

That's called being friendly. Attractive or not, a person who's being friendly is going to get more from people than someone who frowns and complains all day. An attractive person might get more 'special treatment' than an unattractive person

 

I've gotta agree with this, friendliness draws the most response. I don't consider myself a raving beauty, but I have no problem getting positive feedback from people because I try to be kind and friendly, especially when I know they're tired or overworked.

 

as far as looks go, they might initially draw a person's attention, but they don't necessarily hold someone's attention once that person exhibits an unpleasant attitude – why should someone be entitled just because he or she looks better than most of the other people around them? It's attitude that draws favorable response from those around you. Hell, I can walk into a few businesses in town and I get treated as a long lost friend even though I don't do a whole lot of interacting with the staff ... I think it's because they feel comfortable with me. And that's a good feeling when you're having a crappy day.

 

I use my looks to get free drinks from gay dudes.

 

tanbark, you really should look for the video of Felipe Esparza's stand-up act in which he talks about doing just that, it's hilarious.

[SmoochieFace]

Gay men are great - many love to flirt and they're good at it!!

 

Of course they're 'great' - you don't want anything from them and they don't want anything from you! So they can flirt and do all sorts of shiot and get away with it - no strings. Straight guys would get the shoe upside the head!

[bab]

With customer service I usually act like if I knew the person in "real life", male or female then we would be friends. This is different in different situations, but is mainly just being friendly.

 

The worst I've done is when my car broke down in Atlanta a few years ago, I laid on my southern accent fairly thickly when the tow truck came. (I do actually have a southern accent, it just doesn't come out that often).

 

In job interviews I can usually tell what the person wants to hear and am relatively good at wording the truth (I wouldn't tell them something that wasn't true, that could really come back to bite you in the a$$) in a way that sounds good to them. I was just on the job market last year, and for each phone type interview I had, I also had an on campus interview. For every on campus interview I had, I was offered a job. Ironically the job I took didn't even have any interview process at all. (don't ask, academics is strange)

 

Maybe all that is using my "charm" but I don't think that it constitutes flirting and certainly not using my body.

[tanbark813]

tanbark, you really should look for the video of Felipe Esparza's stand-up act in which he talks about doing just that, it's hilarious.

 

I did a quick search and found some clips of his but not with that particular joke. PM me the link if you have it.