Should I call her & when?

[TooShy]

About a month ago I bumped into an old friend of mine. Her and I kind of lost touch because I was her ex boyfriend's close friend and roommate. (they've been broken up for 3 years)

 

When we saw each other, she asked me for my number. I gladly gave it to her. She called me about a week later. On the phone she admitted to having a crush on me but never acted on it due to the fact her and her ex had agreed not to date the others friends.

 

We lost touch because I guess she neeeded a break from him and all the common friends, she avoided situaitons that would put her and him in the same room although they are on good terms. He is now living out of state with his new girlfriend.

 

Anyway, we left the phone call on agreeing to catch up over coffee or something.

 

3 weeks had passed and I'd not heard from her... to make a long story short... I was drinking with some buddies and her name came up... it was very late on a work night and my friend decided to call her to see if she wanted to hang out with us. He was on the phone with her for a while and the end result of the call was she had invited us over to her house. (note my friend is very convincing).

 

We went to her place and we were all talking and watching a movie when I my friends said they were going to pick up some food. They left... never to return. She was very welcoming and did not seem even slightly annoyed with us regardless of the fact it was very late and she needed to be to work the next day.

 

I guess you can all imagine what happened that night... one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together. Please note, I do not use my being drunk as an excuse... I knew what I was doing. But my fear is that since i was drunk... she thinks I was only there for a one night stand, I'm a little embarassed about my friend calling her that late and then leaving me there. She drove me home the next day and we hugged good bye. My friend said so when are we going to hang out again? She said I don't know. He said we'll call you. She commented with a smile to my friend, "sounds good, but next time can you make it a decent hour... and 1:30am on a work night is not a decent hour".

 

I'm worried that if I call her again... she's going to laugh in my face. Or think... I'm a stupid kid. (she's a few years older than I).

 

She is not the type to be rude, but have I ruined it? I've not called her since it's been about 3 days. She is a very open straight forward person... and I was kind of hoping that she would call me. Maybe she is thinking the same thing?

 

I don't want to ruin it with her... should I wait for her to call me? should I call her? If I call her... should I call right away (I don't want to appear desperate) should I wait for the weekend and invite her out on a friendly outing? If I do call her what should I say? I'm so shy when it comes to this.

 

Any advice... please go easy on me.

[IUPchick]

OMG!! You were intimate with someone....You MUST call her!! or shell feel used. dont be afraid. shes probably wondering why you HAVENT called. poor girl.

About a month ago I bumped into an old friend of mine. Her and I kind of lost touch because I was her ex boyfriend's close friend and roommate. (they've been broken up for 3 years) When we saw each other, she asked me for my number. I gladly gave it to her. She called me about a week later. On the phone she admitted to having a crush on me but never acted on it due to the fact her and her ex had agreed not to date the others friends. We lost touch because I guess she neeeded a break from him and all the common friends, she avoided situaitons that would put her and him in the same room although they are on good terms. He is now living out of state with his new girlfriend.

 

Anyway, we left the phone call on agreeing to catch up over coffee or something. 3 weeks had passed and I'd not heard from her... to make a long story short... I was drinking with some buddies and her name came up... it was very late on a work night and my friend decided to call her to see if she wanted to hang out with us. He was on the phone with her for a while and the end result of the call was she had invited us over to her house. (note my friend is very convincing). We went to her place and we were all talking and watching a movie when I my friends said they were going to pick up some food. They left... never to return. She was very welcoming and did not seem even slightly annoyed with us regardless of the fact it was very late and she needed to be to work the next day. I guess you can all imagine what happened that night... one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together. Please note, I do not use my being drunk as an excuse... I knew what I was doing. But my fear is that since i was drunk... she thinks I was only there for a one night stand, I'm a little embarassed about my friend calling her that late and then leaving me there. She drove me home the next day and we hugged good bye. My friend said so when are we going to hang out again? She said I don't know. He said we'll call you. She commented with a smile to my friend, "sounds good, but next time can you make it a decent hour... and 1:30am on a work night is not a decent hour". I'm worried that if I call her again... she's going to laugh in my face. Or think... I'm a stupid kid. (she's a few years older than I). She is not the type to be rude, but have I ruined it? I've not called her since it's been about 3 days. She is a very open straight forward person... and I was kind of hoping that she would call me. Maybe she is thinking the same thing?

 

I don't want to ruin it with her... should I wait for her to call me? should I call her? If I call her... should I call right away (I don't want to appear desperate) should I wait for the weekend and invite her out on a friendly outing? If I do call her what should I say? I'm so shy when it comes to this. Any advice... please go easy on me.

[Tony T]

Give her a call and ask her out to do something special. I'm sure she's looking forward to hearing from you. She sounds very friendly.

[TooShy]

She is a very friendly person. She is wonderful no matter how you slice it. I'm a little worried that she is too good for me. I don't know what I could offer her.

 

I know that I'm talking myself out of calling her. I'm am so scared and thinking worse case. I have no idea what to say.

 

If I wait for the weekend to make the call is that too long?

[Tony T]

If you don't call her tonight, I will. So, yes, waiting until the weekend will be too long because if you don't ask her out for this weekend I will.

 

I hope this clears things up.

 

You need to start thinking a lot more of yourself and what you have to offer her. If you don't feel very good about yourself, exactly why should she? Go get some books on self-esteem and work on that self image...and give her a call ASAP...before I do.

[IUPchick]

If you don't call her tonight, I will. So, yes, waiting until the weekend will be too long because if you don't ask her out for this weekend I will. I hope this clears things up. You need to start thinking a lot more of yourself and what you have to offer her. If you don't feel very good about yourself, exactly why should she? Go get some books on self-esteem and work on that self image...and give her a call ASAP...before I do.

[TooShy]

I'm sorry to dissapoint you all, I'm a coward. I know I should just do it, but everytime I reach for the phone I feel like I'm having a panic attack and I can't seem to dial the complete number.

 

I don't know this girl on the level of a relationship (only what I saw of her and her, now, ex. She was too good for him in my books) only as a friend. When we were friends she always called me to hang out or talk. I guess I was hoping it would be the same after our night.

 

I already know I'm a fool and probably just let a great girl get away. If it's meant to be it will be. At least that's what they say.

 

I will keep you updated.

[Tony T]

You wrote in your original post that your fear was that she would think your roll in the hay was just a one night stand...and now you don't have the cojones to call her. Well, your fear has come to pass!

 

I'm sure she is looking for a MAN and, no matter where she thinks you may be coming from, I'd be sure that the absense of a phone call from you has convinced her you aren't right for her.

 

I hope you get over your shyness someday.