HeartofLies Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 I have a dilema regarding engagement. I know my boyfriend and I are young - I'm almost 22, he's 20 - but I have been thinking about our future a lot lately, and I'm distraught. We have been dating about 2 years now, and the topic of marriage has come up a few times. I've brought it up a few times because I want to know where we're going. For me, I want to marry somewhat young - maybe 26 or so - so we can break into the married life for a couple years, then think about kids, and I don't want to start having kids in my thirties. He doesn't even want to consider marriage until after college, which is about 8 years from now. I really love him and I want to be with him, but I don't know if I want to wait that long. What if even after school he decides he doesn't want to marry? Then my plans will really be screwed up. I don't know, it could be because he's younger, but I don't want to keep going if there may not be a possibility of a future together. Any thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 MY 2 CENTS - shift your focus. focus on loving this person rather than the need to get married. if u want to get married and the other one isn't ready yet - then do not place the 'concept' of marriage before the 'reality' of having this person in your life. you can get married at any time and age - that is flexible. u can put love on hold. so, it should be an easy decision. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HeartofLies Posted October 26, 2006 Author Share Posted October 26, 2006 I don't want to get married yet either, but I also don't want to wait 8 more years. My point is that we both have different plans laid out for our lives. How do we conquer this? If possible. Link to post Share on other sites
bab Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 Just out of curiosity, what type of degrees are the two of you working on that is going to take another 8 years? And, lots can change in the course of the next few years. It's two hard to say right now if his tune will change 4 years from now. But then he'll only be 24, and that is a very young age to marry. I think it could really go either way. I will tell you this, having age plans for your life, especially marriage plans, rarely works out. Your ideas about how old you are and what you want to do morph with every passing year. Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 I don't want to get married yet either, but I also don't want to wait 8 more years. My point is that we both have different plans laid out for our lives. How do we conquer this? If possible. It would seem you both plan on getting married. Your only different plan is the when. Is a piece of paper more important to you or a stable secure future. Think of how both of your college educations could be complicated by children at this point, marriage, real life housekeeping bills,..... and at 20 your bf just left teenhood....... let him grow into a man for awhile. Link to post Share on other sites
peterparks Posted October 26, 2006 Share Posted October 26, 2006 What do you really want - a marriage or a partnership? Those two are different things, you know. Link to post Share on other sites
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