People who minimize cheating and affairs

[milvushina]

I also have this wish that a legislation could be passed by all leaders to make infidelity a crime, not matter if you are married or not. That way, humans would grow up knowing that it is wrong, harmful, etc. IMO, I think it would work well, cause just as it is human nature to steal, kill, rape... if infidelity/cheating was in that list of dont dos' that we would learn from childhood, dont you think the offenses would be less?

 

 

I understand what you are saying about cheating being a form of abuse. But the harm that comes from stealing, raping and murder is more tangible (bodily damage, loss of life, loss of property). While cheating causes psychological damage, emotional strife. It's wrong but I don't think it's okay to legislate it. What about making psychological abuse a crime, locking someone up for chronic name-calling of their spouse or beating down someone else's self-esteem.

 

Or what about locking people up for emotional affairs. Most people consider it to be infidelity, and it breaks up families and marriages. I think it's just too hard to define infidelity and it's too close to "thought crimes." Just MY 50cent...I could be wrong

 

But yeah, it would make it happen less, probably. Cutting off people's hands for stealing seems to work pretty good in some countries.

[Madeamistake]

Hi milvushina

 

I guess you are right that infidelity and passing legislation against it and how difficult it would be to formulate any form of punishment for such.

 

But on another note I was actually thinking about a bit earlier, i.e. Lets say a person denies her/his significant other affection, love, sex etc over a period of time (and she/he is physically and mentally healthy), would you not say that she/he is cheating , although she/he has not stepped out. It is an interesting perspective of looking at things.

 

I guess infidelity may come represent many undefined forms of not keeping to the unwritten contract between two people. Idk, just a thought.

[Rooster_DAR]

Perhaps their should be some sort of deterrent better than what we have now. What this is I don't know, it just seems that people have blantant disregard for other peoples well being. Personally I think you should have to take and pass a somewhat rigourous course on what marriage is all about before anyone is allowed to wed. I guess until that time comes (if ever) we just have to learn how to pick someone we will have a better chance with, but that's not always a guarantee either.

 

Personally I have learned that nothing lasts forever, so by accepting this I can better prepare for the ending of a relationship should it arise.

 

Cheers!

[Madeamistake]

I agree with you that nothing lasts forever, but two people can make it last as long as they want to, which can be a lifetime. It all starts with working towards a common goal. Most people who date look forward to marraige, but their perception of marraige is actually the wedding and honeymoon. People generally don not think beyond the wedding is where the real work starts. The same applies for non married couples. After the honeymoon phase, humans expect everything to be automatic and unfortunately, it never works that way.

 

Once one starts going of tangent, problems may and will arise. I think for one's next relationship to last longer than the previous one, the individual has to look at past a relationship(s) that has failed from an objective point of view. It helps to see were the both of you went wrong and how the problems led to the break up and certain circumstances (i.e infidelity/cheating). This will serve as a way of preventing such from ever happening.

 

It helps to understand some warning signs that people need to be aware of and prevent, what I would percieve as our biggest fear, infidelity. That is why they say that it is important to communicate to see whether you and your partner still shares the same goal/feels the same way and are still happy. The basis of relationship as time goes is for two people to grow closer, thus making them less inclined to seek other partners or step out, but it generally does not happen that way.

 

I read an interesting article on www.ivillage.co.uk. It gave me quite a great deal of information. Human beings are very complex at the end of the day, thus as we grow, we change and as we change, our needs change. Only God knows how I will think and feel in 5 years time. Maybe my perception of life will have changed. That is why communication is so important I believe. The problem with us humans is, instead of stating our ever changing needs to our significant others, we tend to do silly things that are potentially harmful to us and our relationships. I think that is were maturity becomes critical. Lots of us think that because we are over 18-21, we are now mature beings and know all about life. That is why you find some 40+ year olds doing silly things and wishing they knew how hrmful those things were to begin with.

 

Think about it. Certain things should never be repeated in a lifetime nor done at all. That is what growth is about. I for one have learnt that cheating is a no no, from anyside. Yes, a relationship may have problems and yes, one may be unhappy but there is no justifying cheating due to unhapiness. If one is unhappy, it is better to seperate for a while to think things through. I was actually discussing this with my counsellor yesterday.

 

Oh, and not to forget about people putting themselves in compromising situations, that serve as potentail breeding grounds for cheating to occur. Most of us are never aware of these particular situations until we fall into them and temptation becomes too great to resist. This all gives me one possible solution that may help to decrease the fear and problem that we all face when it comes to our love lives.

 

Think about adding some form of social study on infidelity/cheating for high school kids. Just like how parents teach teenagers about sex etc, they never teach us about cheating/infidelity and the importance on monogamy in a realtionship and ways of preventing cheating from taking place. If humans were to understand the importance of fidelity, we we would be less inclined to being so animal-minded and sleeping around while being committed to someone.

 

Idk, just my quarter (25 cents).

 

Source: Life's lessons and experience on both sides of the world (The betrayer and the betrayed)