People who minimize cheating and affairs

[Mz. Pixie]

He is also jealous of my 18 yr old daughter. We were at home one night and she came in with a "guy" friends of hers. Don't really know if she dating him or not but they were looking up something on the computer. My H got mad and said this guy isn't allowed in "his" house. Now my daughter and friend just looked up something on computer and left. I think he's mad that I have an attractive 18 yr old "normal" daughter who's interested in 20 something year old guys. His 18 yr old daughter has been cutting herself in the past. Went with a 30 something year old guy and then had to be tested for AIDS and pregnancy, fights and cusses at her mother, skips school, etc. Don't know if it's jealousy or what but he really doesn't like my daughter at all.

 

Kinda funny how I picked that out huh?

 

Self injury is a serious issue and sometimes points to abuse in one's past.

 

It also seems very suspicious to me that he would be jealous over your 18 year old daughter. Could he be putting her in his radar to be his next OW?

 

I know that sounds disgusting to you as it does to me but as he can't keep his dXck in his pants you never know what he might do.

 

Who in the heck is jealous of someone's kids?? As a step parent I cannot fathom that. If my husband was ever jealous of me going to my kids ballgames I would flip out. I frequently go to them, sometimes even without him if our schedules can't mesh! Can you imagine??

[shoedevil]

Self injury is a serious issue and sometimes points to abuse in one's past.

Or self-loathing or serious depression. But those could also trace back to past abuse, as well. Having gone through some of that myself, it always hurts to hear about these trends among young people. Also, the fact that this girl was involved with someone over a decade older than her indicates maybe a dysfunctional upbringing.

 

Who in the heck is jealous of someone's kids??

Some people are merely jealous of another's success, however that might manifest itself (i.e. well-adjusted kids, high income, fancy car).

[SueBee3490]

[:

Self injury is a serious issue and sometimes points to abuse in one's past. :

 

I was told she did have a cousin who "played" around with her when she was 5 yrs old or so. This cousin may have been 11 or so and this happened one time. This family was weird in how they dealt with their kids. He always thought I spoiled my kids because I bought them what they needed. You know, shoes, clothes, school supplies, etc. His kids never asked for anything which I thought was kind of weird.

 

But then again if you compare at my 21 yr old daughter and his 20 yr old son, my daughter lives on her own, works, and will buy things for those she loves. She went all out at X-mas, buying me quite a few gifts. His son works also (makes more an hour than my daughter) but he lives with his mom, didn't even get his dad (my H) a present for X-mas and just doesn't buy even the necessities he needs. He's trying to save all his money not realizing the real world pays rent, food, electricity, etc. I would rather have my "spoiled" daughter than his son. I think I raised her well for a single mom.

 

It also seems very suspicious to me that he would be jealous over your 18 year old daughter. Could he be putting her in his radar to be his next OW?:

 

No my daughter doesn't like him either. I think it's because she's seen her mother cry many many nights over his cheating and she just doesn't like him for that. She saw her mother go from a fun loving, happy person to a depressed, stay-in-my-room type person not even wanting to do anything. So I understand her not liking him and wanting me to get away from him.

 

[:Who in the heck is jealous of someone's kids?? As a step parent I cannot fathom that. If my husband was ever jealous of me going to my kids ballgames I would flip out. I frequently go to them, sometimes even without him if our schedules can't mesh! Can you imagine??

 

It's because he is a selfish self-centered cheater. I told him while I was at ballgames with my kids he should have been doing things with his kids - but he didn't. He was looking on the computer for his next lay. So now he cries and moans over not seeing his kids when he didn't do anything with them when he was there.

 

You know it's funny and I mentioned in an earlier post, that he really doesn't want to lose me. He won't leave this house because I'm paying everything. I'm scared if I leave, he won't keep up the mortgage and we'll lose the house before it's sold. I've told him to leave but he won't. I asked a lawyer if I could just take my name off the mortgage and give him the house and I'll leave - he said most banks are not going to let you do that because we took it out in both our names and he sure can't keep up the payments now. He changed jobs since we bought the house and took a consider decrease in pay. So I'm trying to get it ready for the market and hope it sells fast.

[Walk]

I asked a lawyer if I could just take my name off the mortgage and give him the house and I'll leave - he said most banks are not going to let you do that because we took it out in both our names and he sure can't keep up the payments now. He changed jobs since we bought the house and took a consider decrease in pay. So I'm trying to get it ready for the market and hope it sells fast.

 

Are you sure you talked to a good lawyer? I know laws differ from state to state, but...

 

When I got my divorce I gave my exh the house. We still owed $160 grand on the mortgage and there was no way my exh could make the mortgage payments on his own. (since he was unemployed and not seeking work)

 

Side note... The year that we were goign through divorce I was paying $600 of the nearly 1300 mortgage and the ENTIRE TIME he was doing crap so no one would buy the house. The DAY AFTER, ONE DAY, after the divorce, he sold the house for 40k more than we owed on the mortgage.

 

I didn't ever see a dime of that money. Even though I'd put in the $50 grand for the down payment, plus another 10 grand to put up dry wall and paint and stuff.

 

And he called himself a christian. Bah!

 

But it was WELL worth being rid of him. I would've paid twice that amount.

 

Really all I'm saying is, if there's a will, there's a way. Be smart about it, but don't stay in a situation that's going to degrade your mental health (or physical) just because you talked to one person. Talk to another lawyer. Or go to findlaw dot com and do some research on your own.

[SueBee3490]

Are you sure you talked to a good lawyer? I know laws differ from state to state, but...

 

When I got my divorce I gave my exh the house. We still owed $160 grand on the mortgage and there was no way my exh could make the mortgage payments on his own. (since he was unemployed and not seeking work)

 

Side note... The year that we were goign through divorce I was paying $600 of the nearly 1300 mortgage and the ENTIRE TIME he was doing crap so no one would buy the house. The DAY AFTER, ONE DAY, after the divorce, he sold the house for 40k more than we owed on the mortgage.

 

Thanks for your advice Walk - I appreciate it. I guess the house is the biggest reason why I'm still here.

 

So really your exH didn't have to try and keep with any more mortgage payments after you divorced because it sold? I'm asking that because I'm scared if I leave my name on the mortgage and he doesn't make payments before it is sold, then my credit will be ruined. I've got to have credit especially if I'm going to be on my own.

 

See we stand to gain maybe $40,000 or so over what we owe too (this coming from a realtor I talked with). She's saying houses are selling in our area, I'd like to ask her where? I see quite a few around us that have been for sale for a long time. Our house needs some cosmetic changes done to it too. Nothing too major.

 

Sorry to hear about you losing out on the money made from your house. I also was wanting him to leave and we sell the house instead of me just giving the house to him, because I could use half of that "supposed" $40,000 right now. But I know that sometimes you are just so tired of all the crap, you just want out and you're willing to give up things that are rightfully yours. That's too bad that your Ex didn't even offer you any of the money made from the house, since it did sell 1 day after your divorce. Sounds like you paid in alot and if he was a good Christian, he would have realized that and offered you something.

 

All of this heartache because of cheating. I can take alot of problems in a marriage - but I can't handle cheating. My 1st marriage my ex lost his 20+ yr job and then started gambling and drinking heavily and we lost our house. I found out I was pregnant in the middle of this with my 3rd child. We worked through it as much as we could but I still felt like his gambling and drinking was a result of losing his good-paying job. His job meant alot to him and he was depressed over that. He didn't go out and cheat on me and I defended him to my parents, siblings, etc. But when my mate cheats on me, I don't defend him - he is deliberately hurting me. I feel he is picking someone else over me. How do you stick up for someone like that?

[Mz. Pixie]

Are you sure you talked to a good lawyer? I know laws differ from state to state, but...

 

When I got my divorce I gave my exh the house. We still owed $160 grand on the mortgage and there was no way my exh could make the mortgage payments on his own. (since he was unemployed and not seeking work)

 

 

When I divorced I quit claimed the house over to my H. In our divorce settlement it said that he would retain the house, and that my rights and responsibilities were null and void and that he would hold me harmless for that.

 

I contacted his mortgage company after that and they told me what to do to take my name off the loan. I was in the process of doing that when he refinanced the house anyway. All they needed was a letter stating what I wanted done and a copy of the quit claim and divorce decree.

 

I walked away with a little furniture, my grandmothers jewelry, and my retirement. I gave him everything else, and I was glad to do to to get out.

Money is definitely not the reason to stay. Your self respect is worth so much more, SueBee.

[Walk]

When I divorced I quit claimed the house over to my H. In our divorce settlement it said that he would retain the house, and that my rights and responsibilities were null and void and that he would hold me harmless for that.

 

That's all I did too.. Quit Claimed my interest in the house, and had the divorce papers also state the same thing. The house became legally his at that point. I didn't have to take my name off the mortgage though since it was sold the very next day... but the lawyer stated it wasn't a problem to get me off it. (I noticed that Mz. Pixie is in the south, and I'm in the north, so seems somewhat standard across state lines.)

 

It was the same thing with the car. He owed about 9 grand on his car, and my name was on the loan for that too. When I drew up the divorce papers, I added that my name would be removed from the title and loan. There wasn't a problem at all with that.

 

And this is the guy who didn't have a job. No income at all. So it's not like the banks were begging to loan him money... I don't know the legalities of it, only that with the divorce, as long as it was in writing then it was law.

 

I think the biggest problem you'll have is getting your soon to be ex to agree to sign off.

[Walk]

So really your exH didn't have to try and keep with any more mortgage payments after you divorced because it sold? I'm asking that because I'm scared if I leave my name on the mortgage and he doesn't make payments before it is sold, then my credit will be ruined. I've got to have credit especially if I'm going to be on my own.

 

See we stand to gain maybe $40,000 or so over what we owe too (this coming from a realtor I talked with). She's saying houses are selling in our area, I'd like to ask her where? I see quite a few around us that have been for sale for a long time. Our house needs some cosmetic changes done to it too. Nothing too major.

 

I know there are laws that protect women more than men in my state. Plus, in my state (I wasn't aware of this at the time), the person who was cheated on has legal rights to take everything from the cheater. ( <-this is a gross generalization, so don't take it as gosple.) The cheater loses rights to the marital assets. So theoretically, you could force your soon to be ex out, keep the house AND all the profit from the sale, and leave him with only the stuff he originally brought in to the marriage.

 

But seriously, I think you are sitting a lot better than you think you are. Problem is, it could really drag out the divorce, and also cost you more in legal fee's. So you'd have to weigh out the pro's and con's with your lawyer.

 

Don't they have free consultations? Or heck.. call up a bunch of the free consultation people, get their advice and then go with someone you've researched and heard good things about. Worst you'll be out is some time.

[SueBee3490]

Thanks Walk & Mz Pixie for advice.

 

I asked the lawyer about maybe I coming out better because he's the one that cheated so ultimately that is why I want the divorce. He said it didn't matter (at least in IL it doesn't). It all no-fault grounds. The state doesn't care who cheated on who - we would both take our personal property. Any marital property we could divide amongst ourselves (or if we can't, then the court decides). We would each get half of the profit from the house.

 

Also, in my case, I can't prove he cheated while married. He cheated on me before marrying me and I didn't know it going into the marriage. Ironically, one of his gfs told me to take him for all he's got on fraud and have my marriage annulled. Don't know whether I can do that or not - I never checked into it because I figure I don't have a leg to stand on to say he cheated while dating me now we're married and I want everything. The judge would probably laugh in my face and say how stupid I am for marrying him. I made my bed now I have to lie in it.

 

We each have our own vehicles and we each brought in personal property so I don't see that being a problem. AS I said, no children between us so that's a big relief.

 

I've been to 2 lawyers for free consultations. They both basically said the same thing - no fault grounds and we divide our house profit equally.

[Spectre]

The OP is right. I've seen too many people give flat out retarded excuses for cheating.

 

What's worse is sometimes people on here cater to these damn cheaters. Ive seen topics go on for pages where the cheater would whine about how their life sucks and their bf/gf sucks and thats what lead them to cheat.

 

The bottom line is people are intelligent, we arent apes. It isnt hard to keep your pants on, it isnt hard to keep your panties on. If you cant do it, you're just a selfish person who doesnt care about hurting someone. It is that simple. Whatever your reason for cheating is, there are other solutions you could of chose that didnt require you to lower yourself by sleeping with another person. You feel neglected? Open your damn mouth and speak up. You get a crush on someone else? Realize you dont love who you're with and leave them BEFORE you act on it. I dont care if you think the person you're with is the king of scumbags, show some common decency.

 

I also find it hilarious people try to act like they simply couldnt prevent the situation. Sure, maybe a quick kiss falls under that category, but anything else? no.

 

People f*ck up, then they come here so people can ease their guilt, so people will agree with their BS reasons.

 

But the absolute worst type of person, my pet peeve, is someone who cheats but then gives you their genius reasons as to why they arent gonna tell their bf/gf. I love the "what they dont know wont hurt them" or something, thats the best. Because *now* they decide to look out for the well being of the other person in the relationship. Its quite amusing.

[Rooster_DAR]

The OP is right. I've seen too many people give flat out retarded excuses for cheating.

 

What's worse is sometimes people on here cater to these damn cheaters. Ive seen topics go on for pages where the cheater would whine about how their life sucks and their bf/gf sucks and thats what lead them to cheat.

 

The bottom line is people are intelligent, we arent apes. It isnt hard to keep your pants on, it isnt hard to keep your panties on. If you cant do it, you're just a selfish person who doesnt care about hurting someone. It is that simple. Whatever your reason for cheating is, there are other solutions you could of chose that didnt require you to lower yourself by sleeping with another person. You feel neglected? Open your damn mouth and speak up. You get a crush on someone else? Realize you dont love who you're with and leave them BEFORE you act on it. I dont care if you think the person you're with is the king of scumbags, show some common decency.

 

I also find it hilarious people try to act like they simply couldnt prevent the situation. Sure, maybe a quick kiss falls under that category, but anything else? no.

 

People f*ck up, then they come here so people can ease their guilt, so people will agree with their BS reasons.

 

But the absolute worst type of person, my pet peeve, is someone who cheats but then gives you their genius reasons as to why they arent gonna tell their bf/gf. I love the "what they dont know wont hurt them" or something, thats the best. Because *now* they decide to look out for the well being of the other person in the relationship. Its quite amusing.

 

Fundamentally, I agree with most of this. People in happy relationships however do get crushes on other people, they need to communicate this to their partner and if their partner is mature they will discuss it openly and decide how to remedy the issue.

 

Regards,

[Spectre]

Fundamentally, I agree with most of this. People in happy relationships however do get crushes on other people, they need to communicate this to their partner and if their partner is mature they will discuss it openly and decide how to remedy the issue.

 

Regards,

 

 

I disagree. While its ok to think another person is attractive tho. People in happy relationships yeah I guess can get crushes. But I if a person truly loves someone, they wont be getting crushes on anyone else. People can be happy but not be in love tho, so thats the exception. However people who feel a crush on someone but insist they still love their s/o are kidding themselves. Thinking someone hot is one thing, a crush where youre constantly thinking about the other person, even wanting to kiss them ,etc.? No, shouldnt happen if you love someone.

 

Basically, I think a crush tells you that you truly arent in love with your partner.

[SueBee3490]

Basically, I think a crush tells you that you truly arent in love with your partner.

 

True Spectre - I also think this is what an affair tells you.

[Salicious Crumb]

I still find it amazing how many people will still defend cheating and affairs with attempted logical explanations. I keep reading posts where people try to justify or rationalize cheating with ideological rhetoric that somehow it's okay due to certain cirumtances. The real truth is, cheating/affairs are wrong, hurt lot's of poeople, and destroy the family infrastructure. But, affairs do happen unfortunately and that's part of the world we live in now.

 

I think these people need to stop rationalizing, and own up to the fact that this beaviour is selfish and self fullfilling. Consider the real issue of why you married someone in the first place that you could not stay commited and honest with.

 

Cheers,

 

"Don't worry, be happy!"

 

Rooster...you are a wise man. This too gets my blood boiling. I despise cheaters. Whats worse than a cheater? A cheater who tries to put the blame on their victim and tries to tell other people in forums that it was their own fault that they were cheated on.

 

Cheating is the ultimate form of selfishness. The reason I feel people try to justify it is because they don't want to think of themselves as selfish or a downright jerk or beotch.

[Flyin in Clouds]

Good lord this thread is still haning on to life... I go away for two months ...

 

Have you heard the news that adultery is a felony in some backwards foreign state... (Minnesota I think or one of those frozen wastelands...)

 

And the penalty can be life in prison!

[Rooster_DAR]

Good lord this thread is still haning on to life... I go away for two months ...

 

Have you heard the news that adultery is a felony in some backwards foreign state... (Minnesota I think or one of those frozen wastelands...)

 

And the penalty can be life in prison!

 

No I did'nt know that. I know it's illegal in many states, just not enforced. At least in most stated infedelity can land all the personal property and kids if you have any, but you have to be able to prove it.

 

Cheers!

[Walk]

Michigan too. But I read somewhere that they haven't used this since 1970 or something....

 

750.29 Adultery; definition.

Sec. 29.

Definition - Adultery is the sexual intercourse of 2 persons, either of whom is married to a third person.

 

750.30 Adultery; punishment.

Sec. 30.

Punishment - Any person who shall commit adultery shall be guilty of a felony; and when the crime is committed between a married woman and a man who is unmarried, the man shall be guilty of adultery, and liable to the same punishment.

 

750.31 Adultery; complaint and time of prosecution.

Sec. 31.

Complainant and time prosecution to be commenced - No prosecution for adultery, under the preceding section, shall be commenced, but on the complaint of the husband or wife; and no such prosecution shall be commenced after 1 year from the time of committing the offense.

 

750.32 Adultery; cohabitation of divorced parties.

Sec. 32.

Cohabitation by divorced parties - If any persons after being divorced from the bonds of matrimony for any cause whatever, shall cohabit together, they shall be liable to all the penalties provided by law against adultery.

[magichands]

And the penalty can be life in prison!

One way, or another, they'll show you what married life is like.

[Walk]

One way, or another, they'll show you what married life is like.

 

OMG! that is so true!!! hahah I had a nightmare the other night that I was some kind of prisoner in a third world country, then it changed in to how I was still married to my exh. And amazingly enough.. it was a larger feeling of despair and hopelessness during the dreaming of still being married. haha Go figure.

[frannie]

I still find it amazing how many people will still defend cheating and affairs with attempted logical explanations. I keep reading posts where people try to justify or rationalize cheating with ideological rhetoric that somehow it's okay due to certain cirumtances. The real truth is, cheating/affairs are wrong, hurt lot's of poeople, and destroy the family infrastructure. But, affairs do happen unfortunately and that's part of the world we live in now.

 

I think these people need to stop rationalizing, and own up to the fact that this beaviour is selfish and self fullfilling. Consider the real issue of why you married someone in the first place that you could not stay commited and honest with.

 

Justify OR rationalise..? Those are two different things. Who could really justify doing something that causes so much pain/difficulties for others..? That doesn't mean there's not a logical reason for its happening, or even for doing it. It's something that's explicable, but no, that doesn't make it 'right'.

 

I think there are a lot of mixed up things in what you're saying.

[stace79]

It IS wrong. Cheating is wrong, screwing around is wrong (and spreads diseases), breaking up a relationship or family IS WRONG. It's this whole "to each his own" attitude that has gotten American in such a mess to begin with.

 

there is a complete rational for cheating and having an affair. Its only an affair in our society because you can't marry more then one person or take more than one wife.

Think about it-- in societies where is is exceptable to take more then one wife -- you don't hear of infidelity. And I'm not just talking about muslims- another popular misconception in America that just muslims believe in polygamy. Most African countries and a good 12 far east asian countries still practice polygamy.

 

I think its unreasonable to believe its in staying with one person for the rest of your life. I think its unreasonable to believe family can only mean those who you have a piece of paper with...

 

I know people in America like to think they don't practice polygamy but they do with all the babies daddies and babies momma running around.

I know several blended families that are perfectly fine--

i'm not saying its for everyone but sometimes just because a majority of people think its wrong --just doesn't make it so.

Back in the day people thought interracial relationships were wrong, wasn't wrong just their screwed up perception. Just like infedelity-- just your perception.

 

And not all kids feel slighted-- my father had three extra-marital affairs and my half siblings and I get along great. Over time and with lots patience you work through things like a family and get on with it. They are my brothers and my sister-no big deal. There wasn't a big deal made about it when we were introduced by my father. When I was little I thought why do they live in a different place and that was all. It wasn't until i was older and i realized oh wait those two are younger then me but my mom was married to him-- so I asked what happened. My mom said your dad got around.

And til this very day -- when other people meet my half siblings they look confused and I laugh and say exactly what my mom says, My dad got around. And it wasn't on my mom, it was him. She was the only one he ever married and stayed with. But she had her own stepping out periods of time as well... so no one was slighted. We kids didn't grow up thinking daddy doesn't love me, or mommy doesn't love me. And we still always have each other no matter what.

 

Really there is no one size fits all to life...

[Rooster_DAR]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guest View Post

there is a complete rational for cheating and having an affair. Its only an affair in our society because you can't marry more then one person or take more than one wife.

Think about it-- in societies where is is exceptable to take more then one wife -- you don't hear of infidelity. And I'm not just talking about muslims- another popular misconception in America that just muslims believe in polygamy. Most African countries and a good 12 far east asian countries still practice polygamy.

 

I think its unreasonable to believe its in staying with one person for the rest of your life. I think its unreasonable to believe family can only mean those who you have a piece of paper with...

 

I know people in America like to think they don't practice polygamy but they do with all the babies daddies and babies momma running around.

I know several blended families that are perfectly fine--

i'm not saying its for everyone but sometimes just because a majority of people think its wrong --just doesn't make it so.

Back in the day people thought interracial relationships were wrong, wasn't wrong just their screwed up perception. Just like infedelity-- just your perception.

 

And not all kids feel slighted-- my father had three extra-marital affairs and my half siblings and I get along great. Over time and with lots patience you work through things like a family and get on with it. They are my brothers and my sister-no big deal. There wasn't a big deal made about it when we were introduced by my father. When I was little I thought why do they live in a different place and that was all. It wasn't until i was older and i realized oh wait those two are younger then me but my mom was married to him-- so I asked what happened. My mom said your dad got around.

And til this very day -- when other people meet my half siblings they look confused and I laugh and say exactly what my mom says, My dad got around. And it wasn't on my mom, it was him. She was the only one he ever married and stayed with. But she had her own stepping out periods of time as well... so no one was slighted. We kids didn't grow up thinking daddy doesn't love me, or mommy doesn't love me. And we still always have each other no matter what.

 

Really there is no one size fits all to life...

 

I agree that most people will experience infedelity in their lives, and that humans are not monogamous. I also understand that nothing lasts forever, particularly when it comes to love. So, for the most part I have to agree with most of this. There are few couples that endure monogamy and stay together forever. I have know only a few couple (my brother is one of them) that will never be apart. I think people really want to stay together forever, but making that happen takes the right combination of ingredients that both persons must have.

 

The only thing I disagree here with is cheating with no respect for your partner. A cheater is wrong and a bad person because they are consumed with disregard for other peoples feelings, and they are extremely self absorbed. If you can't stay monogamous, don't get married and let you partner understand how you feel before they commit to a relationship. I believe Americans were cultured into monogamy and marriage, so we have to deal with that culture at least for the next couple of decades or so.

 

Cheers!

[Salicious Crumb]

Good lord this thread is still haning on to life... I go away for two months ...

 

Have you heard the news that adultery is a felony in some backwards foreign state... (Minnesota I think or one of those frozen wastelands...)

 

And the penalty can be life in prison!

 

backwards state? Michigan has the same law, although I think the last time it was enforced as a felony was the 70's.

 

I wish Illinois had a law that makes adultery a felony. Sounds great to me!!!

[milvushina]

750.32 Adultery; cohabitation of divorced parties.

Sec. 32.

Cohabitation by divorced parties - If any persons after being divorced from the bonds of matrimony for any cause whatever, shall cohabit together, they shall be liable to all the penalties provided by law against adultery.

 

Dude, that is harsh. I guess if you're divorced, you better remarry before you shack up?

[Madeamistake]

I agree that most people will experience infedelity in their lives, and that humans are not monogamous. I also understand that nothing lasts forever, particularly when it comes to love. So, for the most part I have to agree with most of this. There are few couples that endure monogamy and stay together forever. I have know only a few couple (my brother is one of them) that will never be apart. I think people really want to stay together forever, but making that happen takes the right combination of ingredients that both persons must have.

 

The only thing I disagree here with is cheating with no respect for your partner. A cheater is wrong and a bad person because they are consumed with disregard for other peoples feelings, and they are extremely self absorbed. If you can't stay monogamous, don't get married and let you partner understand how you feel before they commit to a relationship. I believe Americans were cultured into monogamy and marriage, so we have to deal with that culture at least for the next couple of decades or so.

 

Cheers!

 

I agree with the fact that for two people to stay monogamous to each other for the rest of their lives, there must be the right ingredients, etc.

 

What are those ingredients? I am still in the process of finding out, but they have a lot to do with communication, respect, an equal amount of give and take, love, honesty... rather quite complex and extensive but at the same time, also very simple.

 

At the end of the day, cheating hurts like hell. Wether you are the betrayer (If you have a consciense) or the betrayed. I would rate it as one the most damaging forms of abuse known to mankind that we are unconscious off until it happens.

 

I also have this wish that a legislation could be passed by all leaders to make infidelity a crime, not matter if you are married or not. That way, humans would grow up knowing that it is wrong, harmful, etc. IMO, I think it would work well, cause just as it is human nature to steal, kill, rape... if infidelity/cheating was in that list of dont dos' that we would learn from childhood, dont you think the offenses would be less?

 

Just a question?

 

Yep. Just my 50cent (lol).