pre-marriage questions????

[trickiechck]

[sIZE=3][COLOR=#00ff00]Within two years I will be getting engaged and starting to prepare for marriage. I have major questions for those of you who already went through this.

1. What are the most expensive things that we MUST have in the wedding overall?

2. Who usually pays for.....

*the reception

*the wedding dress

*the tux

*the bridesmaid dresses

*the church

*the honey moon

*all the other little things

3. Does it cost money to change my name?

4. For whom MUST we buy gifts for?

5. What are the most important things we should register for?

6. Should we take out loans, and if we do, how long do we have to pay them off?

 

I think that is all for now, but I'm sure I will have more later on. I would love it if anyone could answer some of these questions for me, I liek to be prepared. Can't wait to find out some of these things. [/COLOR][/sIZE]

[ely]

[sIZE=3][COLOR=#00ff00]Within two years I will be getting engaged and starting to prepare for marriage. I have major questions for those of you who already went through this. [/COLOR][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][COLOR=#00ff00]1. What are the most expensive things that we MUST have in the wedding overall?[/COLOR][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][COLOR=#00ff00]2. Who usually pays for.....[/COLOR][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][COLOR=#00ff00]*the reception[/COLOR][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][COLOR=#00ff00]*the wedding dress[/COLOR][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][COLOR=#00ff00]*the tux[/COLOR][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][COLOR=#00ff00]*the bridesmaid dresses[/COLOR][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][COLOR=#00ff00]*the church[/COLOR][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][COLOR=#00ff00]*the honey moon[/COLOR][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][COLOR=#00ff00]*all the other little things[/COLOR][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][COLOR=#00ff00]3. Does it cost money to change my name?[/COLOR][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][COLOR=#00ff00]4. For whom MUST we buy gifts for?[/COLOR][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][COLOR=#00ff00]5. What are the most important things we should register for?[/COLOR][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][COLOR=#00ff00]6. Should we take out loans, and if we do, how long do we have to pay them off?[/COLOR][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][COLOR=#00ff00][/COLOR][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][COLOR=#00ff00]I think that is all for now, but I'm sure I will have more later on. I would love it if anyone could answer some of these questions for me, I liek to be prepared. Can't wait to find out some of these things. [/COLOR][/sIZE]

you can go to the library and ask for books on wedding planners.

[ShoeGirl]

Go to your local public library and look for books on planning a wedding on a budget or something like that. Also google some of your questions there are bound to be sites out there with this info.

[Leikela]

I just got married on Sept. 23rd of this year. Here are the answers to your questions:

 

1. What are the most expensive things that we MUST have in the wedding overall?

Photographer and Videographer

2. Who usually pays for.....

*the reception The Bride's parents

*the wedding dress Depends-Usually the bride. My Mom bought mine though.

*the tux It's more common for the guy to just rent a tux. It's also common that if he gets his wedding party to get tuxes all at the same place, then the groom's is for free. My husband got this deal at Men's Warehouse.

*the bridesmaid dresses The bridesmaids pay for their own.

*the church Negotiable. My parents paid for ours.

*the honey moon The bride and groom.

*all the other little things You left out a lot of stuff. Rehearsal dinner is the groom's parents. The reception is tradionally the bride's parents but all the other little things can be worked out between you, your parents and the groom's parents.

3. Does it cost money to change my name? It does not cost money to change your name. Your marriage certificate is all the proof you need. First you go to social security and fill out the form for it and show your marriage certificate. The DMV will charge you a small fee (mine was $11) to issue you a new license with your new name. Passport you have to pay a small fee too but that's it. Banks, credit cards, etc you just need to show your marriage certificate and fill out forms and you're done. No fees.

4. For whom MUST we buy gifts for? Your whole wedding party. Gifts for the parents as well are nice too but not a MUST.

5. What are the most important things we should register for? Registering is just an option. If you don't then you'll get cash or gifts. Just register for what you feel you REALLY need. Usually place settings and china ware are the most important.

6. Should we take out loans, and if we do, how long do we have to pay them off? I would NOT recommend taking out loans for a wedding!! It is ONE DAY. You should not put yourself into debt for that. If you want to buy a house anytime soon after you're married, it will NOT look good to have such a loan on your credit report. You will most likely be denied a mortgage. Creditors most of the time want you practically debt free to get a mortgage. BUDGET YOUR WEDDING WITHIN YOUR MEANS!!! That is VERY important.

 

I hope this helped you. Anymore questions, feel free to ask!

[Guest]

2. Who usually pays for.....

*the reception Depends. If the bride and groom have been working for a few years, they should pay for their own wedding.

*the honey moon sometimes people give it as a gift

 

BUDGET YOUR WEDDING WITHIN YOUR MEANS!!! That is VERY important.

 

I totally agree. You can do a lot of great things without paying tons of money. Shop around. Be creative. I got my dress on sale but it was the dress that everyone in the store stopped when I tried on to ooh and aah over.

[Leikela]

2. Who usually pays for.....

*the reception Depends. If the bride and groom have been working for a few years, they should pay for their own wedding.

*the honey moon sometimes people give it as a gift

 

BUDGET YOUR WEDDING WITHIN YOUR MEANS!!! That is VERY important.

 

I totally agree. You can do a lot of great things without paying tons of money. Shop around. Be creative. I got my dress on sale but it was the dress that everyone in the store stopped when I tried on to ooh and aah over.

 

Yes, I agree about the dress! My dress only cost $500 dollars at David's Bridal but it was GORGEOUS and like the previous poster, everyone stopped dead in their tracks when I put it on and Ooohed and aahed too!

[RecordProducer]

]Within two years I will be getting engaged and starting to prepare for marriage. I have major questions for those of you who already went through this.

Within two years?!?! Then aren't all these questions asked a little bit prematurely?

 

Of course you may be asking them out of mere curiosity, but I have the feeling that you're actually starting to plan things already. You may even break up with this guy within two years!

 

I totally don't get the wedding fuss. Fortunately, I had a small wedding last year with a few people and we celebrated it in a restaurant. No huge expenses, no crowd.

 

I bought the wedding dress and shoes one day prior to the wedding. We left at 6 PM and the stores closed at 8 PM. And I looked great. After all, the success of the marriage totally doesn't depend on the wedding day. My husband had big weddings with both his ex-wives and both marriages were over within two years.

 

I guess I am not a wedding-day person! When we build a new house next Fall, we'll have some celebration and maybe we can say "Here, we made it, we're happy together."

 

With the divorce rate nowadays, I think weddings are ridiculous. People should celebrate the success of a marriage that lasted for, let's say, 5 years. When they THINK they will stay together forever and actually have some grounds to say that, they can spend thousands of dollars to celebrate it.

 

Since dating and marriage are completely different, to me big wedding days are like celebrating your success of a great doctor on the day when you enrolled in medical school.

[alphamale]

marriage mainly benefits women only, women instinctively know this fact and that is why they go to such trouble to plan their lavish weddings, down to the colour of the lint on the napkins.

 

the wedding signifies the birth of the bride and the death of the husband

[norajane]

Within two years?!?! Then aren't all these questions asked a little bit prematurely?

 

I second that! You start planning a wedding after you're engaged, not before.

 

At this point, you might want to start saving money for all the expensive things you want for your wedding AND for your married life together after the honeymoon, but you should be saving money for your future anyway - with or without a wedding or marriage.

[rainfall]

marriage mainly benefits women only, women instinctively know this fact and that is why they go to such trouble to plan their lavish weddings, down to the colour of the lint on the napkins.

 

the wedding signifies the birth of the bride and the death of the husband

 

They actually do that.

[Leikela]

Record Producer,

Interesting outlook on marriage. I don't disagree with you but I have a different outlook on it. Your wedding day is a celebration of your new life with your husband. It's a celebration of love, family, friends and all the hardships it took to get you where you are that day.

 

My wedding day was one of the most special days of my life. There was so much love between everyone there and it showed. We danced, laughed, cried and our hearts were just bursting with joy. Everyone that I've talked to that attended said it was the best wedding they had ever been to.

 

My husband and I have been married a little over a month now but were together for 3 and a half years before we got married and lived together for almost 3 years. I think having a successful marriage ISN'T a role of the dice. It's not "Let's see if we can make it." It's knowing in your heart that this person is right for you.

 

However, there's no telling what life will bring. People change, get weird, tragedies happen, etc... I don't think a marriage is EVER "safe" but when you get married you're pledging to that person that you are committed to them and will walk through fire to make things work.

 

I know that, for now, things with my husband and me are perfect and we're best friends. Our wedding was a celebration of our love and committment and that day will always be a special memory in my heart.

[Touche]

I have a stupid theory that the bigger and more expensive the wedding the more likely it will fail.

 

And I absolutely agree with those who said to NOT go into debt for a wedding. What a horrible way to start a marriage..with debt. Not worth it, I assure you.

 

You don't have to impress anyone.

[RecordProducer]

marriage mainly benefits women only, women instinctively know this fact and that is why they go to such trouble to plan their lavish weddings, down to the colour of the lint on the napkins.

 

the wedding signifies the birth of the bride and the death of the husband

Yeah, yeah...

 

I second that! You start planning a wedding after you're engaged, not before.

She said she would be engaged within two years. They are not even engaged and she already makes plans for her napkins and invitations!

 

 

I know that, for now, things with my husband and me are perfect and we're best friends. Our wedding was a celebration of our love and committment and that day will always be a special memory in my heart.

Leikela, you've only been married for a month! The honeymoon is not over yet. You WILL have arguments, but don't let them put you down! Give your best to be a good wife and the rest will come naturally. Work on your disagreements and don't expect miracles and a bed of roses 100% of the time.

[Leikela]

Leikela, you've only been married for a month! The honeymoon is not over yet. You WILL have arguments, but don't let them put you down! Give your best to be a good wife and the rest will come naturally. Work on your disagreements and don't expect miracles and a bed of roses 100% of the time.

 

Yes, we've only been married a month but we lived together for 3 years before we tied the knot. So we've already had the fights and the joint bank account now for 3 years.

 

Even with all we've been through, I still say things are perfect between us. Fights and all.

[adnCat]

I just wanted to pop in to defend trixiechck a bit. It may be true that she's not engaged yet, but there's no harm in learning about what a wedding might cost. And she didn't say anything about napkins or invitations, unless I missed something. She just wanted to know what tradition dicated in terms of picking up the tab, mostly.

 

Also, remember that there are such things as personal preferences. Some people live in tiny houses and drive 2007 BMWs. Some people live in huge houses and drive 1985 Geos.

 

Anyway, I think it is smart for trixiechck to get as much info as possible. Maybe she'll find that the wedding she wants is not within her means and will try to find ways to get what she wants without spending so much. For instance, two years is plenty of time to work on new hobbies, like sewing (cheap dress!) or baking (cheap cake!) or floral arranging (cheap flowers!). I sew and bake for fun and I've actually done flowers for a couple different weddings myself! I know my friends felt pretty lucky that her bridesmaids planned the usual bridal shower & bachelorette party & stayed up late the night before to make the bouquets and boutonnieres!

 

I will have to agree that most debt should be avoided unless for a home or education, and even those reasons for debt have limits. I personally would not go in debt for a wedding, either.

[Island Girl]

marriage mainly benefits women only, women instinctively know this fact and that is why they go to such trouble to plan their lavish weddings, down to the colour of the lint on the napkins.

 

the wedding signifies the birth of the bride and the death of the husband

 

 

My husband, who is VERY much an Alpha Male, planned the whole wedding.

 

He did the invitations, the cake, the food --- all I did was show up.

 

How terrible that you have such a cynical view of relationships. There are bad marriages out there but there are good ones too.

 

By the way the most expensive things we had to have at the wedding were THE RINGS!

 

A wedding planner and a book about wedding etiquette would tell you all of this stuff and help you plan as you go --- the planners have check lists by time frame.

[Leikela]

Island Girl,

 

You are lucky that your husband did it all! LOL I did a lot, but I was soooo lucky to have my Mom and Sister also take care of most of the stuff. I was working two jobs and going to Grad school so things were crazy! My husband did some things at my request. He's just challenged because he's a male. hee hee

[RecordProducer]

Anyway, I think it is smart for trixiechck to get as much info as possible. Maybe she'll find that the wedding she wants is not within her means and will try to find ways to get what she wants without spending so much. For instance, two years is plenty of time to work on new hobbies, like sewing (cheap dress!) or baking (cheap cake!) or floral arranging (cheap flowers!).

That's a great idea - start a new hobby so you can budget your wedding. Two years is plenty of time to get really good at sewing, baking, and flower arranging if you practice regularly. By the time the wedding day comes, she will be an expert in preparing wedding days! If the groom gets cold feet, she will be ready for the next guy. (Hopefully, he will like the cakes.) And finally, she can even discover a new talent of hers or become a wedding ceremony organizer - all inspired by her own wedding day.

 

There's a saying: "Don't put the frying pan on the stove while the fish is still in the water!" Aren't you, girls, at least a little bit superstitious?

[a4a]

marriage mainly benefits women only, women instinctively know this fact and that is why they go to such trouble to plan their lavish weddings, down to the colour of the lint on the napkins.

 

the wedding signifies the birth of the bride and the death of the husband

 

:lmao: The only reason we even had a wedding with guests was for my H. He wanted his family and friends.... he planned and picked out everything with me. Some were his own ideas and wants for the wedding..... he even picked out the friggin' cake

 

Obviously if a man wants to be married he will participate with glee ( ) planning the wedding, if he does not perhaps he will avoid it like the plague.

[PussInHeels]

Weddings can be costly but they don't have to be. There's tons of resources out there for wedding planning. If a lazy bones like me can work through it, I'm sure you'll be fine whenever it comes around. If you're no-nonsense, keep the cheese to a minimum like my husband and I, a wedding can be surprisingly cheap. Unfortunately, I can't give you much help from experience because my mother helped plan the wedding, and she likes a lot of cheese and nonsense . Just be a little practical. Weddings mean big money to vendors so you'll always be getting the impression that you "need" this and that...It's ultimately what you want, so if you don't really care about something, then forget about it! If you really want something and you have the money, go for it!

 

My wedding isn't until March but we got married this year. Where I got married, you did have to pay to change your name, although I kept mine. Just check the policy in your county.

 

Good luck! And remember, it's supposed to be fun, so don't make it into a nightmare by freaking out all the time and fighting with your fiance and family like in the movies. And I got my dress at David's also for 500, so check it out.