sunflowerz Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 I wasn't sure in which forum to post this. Maybe someone here can figure out what's going on in my situation. Alright, here goes. I seem to be having some kind of issue with this man who is in many of my college classes (we have the same major). We are a little older than the average college student, by the way. This all started earlier this year. I never spoke to this man in the beginning. You know how there are some people that you don't think you have anything in common with, so you two really don't speak to each other? Well that's what happened. One day I saw this man staring at me out of the corner of my eye. I had never really paid any attention to him until this happened. I didn't even know his name. I turned to stare back at him to see what his problem was. When I stared back at him, he smiled. I was too startled to smile back and we just stared at each other for a little bit. I then turned away, probably looking dazed and confused. The smile caught me by surprise. Anyway, this man started to go out of his way to speak to me until I finally started to talk to him. He was actually very, very nice to me and did alot of sweet things for me in class. I have to say I enjoyed talking to him. As time went on, we began to joke around alot and get along really well, as we were placed in the same small group in class. Our classes are extremely long, so we spent alot of grouptime together. He can be pretty funny sometimes and is popular with the class. We started to tease/flirt with each other. It was just harmless, fun stuff. I was kind of surprised that he was so insistent upon me getting to know him, as we just seem like complete opposites. I would see him staring at me at times when he thought I couldn't see him. However, most of the time I just pretended I couldn't see him. The staring didn't bother me, but I just never looked up. This went on for months until one day this man just started ignoring and acting cold towards me when I tried to talk to him. This seemed rude and weird to me. I just thought fine if he wants to act that way, that's his problem. I just avoided him and went about my own business. Afterall, we are just classmates and not outside friends. Well, things got weirder after that. This man started talking to me again several weeks later. He again went out of his way to be nice to me. At first, I was somewhat po'd. I eventually started talking to him,though, because he was just so nice. He started up with the staring and teasing thing again too. I would tease him about the staring, while he would say that it was me who was staring at him. I don't know, maybe I embarrassed him by saying this. He's a confident and I guess you could say macho guy, and I don't think he realized I knew about the staring until that point. Well, guess what he did a few weeks later? He started being rude again and acted like he was annoyed or disgusted with me. We are now in the middle of the semester and he has been both nice and rude to me off and on. He'll be nice to me one day and then who knows how he'll be the next day. The final straw came when I tried to joke with him one day in class, and he just acted like I was an idiot who was wasting his time by talking to him. I just ignored him after that. I really don't get this. If he doesn't like me as a person and doesn't want to associate with me in class, then why is he going out of his way to be nice to me only to later follow it up with rudeness? Why bother? I mean you don't have to talk to or get along with everyone. You wouldn't believe how many times he has done this. It just doesn't make any sense. Until he started being rude to me, I was nothing but nice to him. Instead of him doing this, I would just rather he didn't talk to me at all. I don't like being treated this way. I don't want to tell him off or anything, just due to the fact that we are in our school group for so long several days a week, and that could make things even more awkward. I will just continue to ignore him and not spend any more time talking to him in class. My belief has always been that he was attracted to me but was maybe too embarrassed to admit it to himself. Like I said, we are two very different people. We are both attractive people, but different. It almost seems as if he's playing some kind of game. It's too bad, because he is a really nice man when he's not being a complete jerk. Thoughts anyone? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 would u either msn or call me please and thank my darling Clementine. however u are under no obligation to, and it is simply to reassure ok? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 there is no need for staring nor eyes towards the floor - we are at the same level and yes i am a man - don't worry about me in some dark corner...as u can see i am not someone u need to be concerned about and i know u will not im or call - just wanted to show u i see your life as important, please respect it as well Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 but, i will never do anything right in your eyes = i never have i have disappointed you time and time again so, i will do what is best for u - i will leave and if that makes u better and happy and helps with your change and growth - i will give up my love and friendship...i know that is what u want please take good care of yourself, goodbye C LOVE ALWAYS G Link to post Share on other sites
Author sunflowerz Posted October 27, 2006 Author Share Posted October 27, 2006 there is no need for staring nor eyes towards the floor - we are at the same level and yes i am a man - don't worry about me in some dark corner...as u can see i am not someone u need to be concerned about and i know u will not im or call - just wanted to show u i see your life as important, please respect it as well Even though this is a strange reply to my post, I will respond in order to clarify my original message. The reason I say that we're different is because we are culturally different. I think that he feels confused about being attracted to someone from a culture different than his. Although, this is no excuse for such rudeness. As for the staring situation, I know that he was staring because he liked me. I just did not look back at him because the situation was already weird enough. There is no self-esteem issue there. I gave this man another chance at being friendly and he failed. Also in this case, I think it is probably better to ignore the guy instead of getting involved in some kind of verbal exchange. Those are my thoughts. I would just like to get other opinions about this matter. I'm wondering why he would behave the way he has been behaving. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 silence is golden Link to post Share on other sites
Malady Posted October 28, 2006 Share Posted October 28, 2006 guys are just funny sometimes. I believe he does like you. His attitude could stem from how he views your overall body language. In his mind you are probably giving the friendship signal instead of potential girlfriend. Maybe it's a whole other side and he's irritated because you're not easy. There could be endless possibilties to his split personality attitude. The only way to interject is ask a question that can give you insight. Perhaps you could ask, "There's a really interesting movie coming out this weekend, would you like to go see it with me?" This way might help alleviate the stress you've been feeling. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sunflowerz Posted October 28, 2006 Author Share Posted October 28, 2006 Thanks for the input Malady. The only thing is that I was never looking for any romantic relationship with this man. I just found him to be nice, funny, and a cool person to laugh with (in the beginning). I would have liked to get along with him as a classmate, but I guess he does not want this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sunflowerz Posted October 31, 2006 Author Share Posted October 31, 2006 I thought that I would add something I just realized. What I realized is that I did have feelings for this guy, despite trying to tell myself otherwise. Maybe that is why the situation got on my nerves so much. I probably need to stop wasting time trying to analyze this and think about things that are actually important. This thread seems to be pretty much dead, but any comments are appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 I thought that I would add something I just realized. What I realized is that I did have feelings for this guy, despite trying to tell myself otherwise. Maybe that is why the situation got on my nerves so much. I probably need to stop wasting time trying to analyze this and think about things that are actually important. This thread seems to be pretty much dead, but any comments are appreciated. U JUST REALIZED? TEASING GOTTA LOVE NC EH Link to post Share on other sites
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