How can I figure out what he wants?

[Guest]

I became friends with this guy over the past few months and actually, he initiated the friendship, which isn't unusual, because I think he's pretty friendly, but my other friends all teased me about how he was actually making a move. In fact, he was really flirty and would always try to hang out with me, but never really made a mover beyond that, despite a lot of opportunities (we went out drinking and dancing, and still... nothing), but at the time he was also sort of working for the program I was in, and it could have been a conflict of interest type of thing.

 

Anyway, we hung out more and more and became pretty close friends and discuss things like our past and current hookups, etc. When the program ended, we actually did end up hooking up on two separate occasions. Both times I was the one who called, although he definitely made the first move, but now I like him and would like to continue this casual relationship, but I can't tell what he wants, because he never calls me or asks me to come over. He still flirts with me and talks to me regularly, but he just doesn't make a move. He's also not that shy. Does he want to go back to just being friends and not hook up anymore? or am I just oblivious?

[Guest]

i think you should just ask him straight, ask him if he likes you more than a friend. if he doesnt you have nothing to lose, you are still good friends even if that happens but you should honestly just ask, its most likely he'll say yes.

 

if you spend too much time acting like friends around each other it might make him feel like its nothing more than just a normal friendship. it might make him think your just being friends with him so he wont ask you.. one has to make a bigger move before the other. its about who will make the move first. try different methods of flirting or hinting that you like him and see how he responds to it. maybe hes the stubborn laid back type who doesn't show he cares but actually does =P from what i know those type guys just like to be looked after and make little effort (tho thats not a bad thing tho as he may have a really nice personality deep down)

 

he might be abit lazy to ask you or maybe afraid of rejection so he plays it cool.. myself im abit like that in a way.. i like a girl at school and we hit it off as friends very well but i never ask her out too directly as ive had so many bad past relationships. that made me lose the enthusiasm to actually go out even though i feel aright now, eventually he will realise how nice a girl you are and that you like him alot, just give it time =]

 

but he could also be holding back because he thinks your too good for him or something, he could be shyer than you think he is..

 

if he doesn't make the effort to see you, talk to you then it could be hes moved on or hes just a friend at most, don't ever give up though =] i never do with the girl i like =D

[kaykay08]

I became friends with this guy over the past few months and actually, he initiated the friendship, which isn't unusual, because I think he's pretty friendly, but my other friends all teased me about how he was actually making a move. In fact, he was really flirty and would always try to hang out with me, but never really made a mover beyond that, despite a lot of opportunities (we went out drinking and dancing, and still... nothing), but at the time he was also sort of working for the program I was in, and it could have been a conflict of interest type of thing.

 

Anyway, we hung out more and more and became pretty close friends and discuss things like our past and current hookups, etc. When the program ended, we actually did end up hooking up on two separate occasions. Both times I was the one who called, although he definitely made the first move, but now I like him and would like to continue this casual relationship, but I can't tell what he wants, because he never calls me or asks me to come over. He still flirts with me and talks to me regularly, but he just doesn't make a move. He's also not that shy. Does he want to go back to just being friends and not hook up anymore? or am I just oblivious?

 

i have to say your just oblivious but when i guy tells you he don't want to be with you no more he'll let you know cause guys always speak their mind about something and if he still flirts with you maybe he still wants to be with you and might just be busy but if you want to be with him still you should be willing to make it work no matter what sometimes that how it is when you first start going out with boy but it will change and i wish luck

 

your friend

[Guest]

i mean, i asked a number of my guy friends (i have quite a few) and probably 90% of them said that if they wanted to hook up with a girl that they had previously hooked up with they would definitely call her, and if they didnt call, it was because they didn't want to. he's asked me things like how my love life is, and i couldn't tell if that was an, im interested as a friend, or im curious for my own sake, type thing. i mean, im pretty certain that neither of us actually wants a serious relationship, but at the same time, if he doesn't like me, I'd rather just know, so i don't have to stress over it. like, i feel a little bit like im sacrificing my pride to keep making the move

[Guest]

im in the same boat as the poster above.. it stresses me out when i think someone likes me but i dont ask, but tbh ive realised if you just ask them asap then even if you get a no you'll still be friends and the good thing with that is you will get the stress off your chest if you know where you stand. thats what i need to do.

 

and if your still friends carry on acting like you care and you never know.. one day they might come back to you later in the year and ask you out if they turned you down in the first place.

 

to justify that.. my mate the other day told me some guy he knows constantly asked a girl through out the year to go out with him, she said no a few times and it sounds desperate from him i know but they actually ended up together eventually. and are now very much in a serious relationship of 2 years, strange how stuff happens isnt it?

 

good luck