men

[Jenn]

Okay I have been dating this guy for like 5 months now. I really care for him. Now we fight all of the time and I really try to no fight. Okay take tonight for instance: we were supposed to have plans to go out to eat and then go to a movie. He wanted to go to work instead to make up Wednesday, he missed because he was sick. Okay my boyfriend does need to work, but missing one day isn't going to hurt...especially when he was sick. He is only 18 and all he has to pay for is gas and his cell phone bill. He always has 200 extra dollars. I don't see the point of making up the day.

 

I got so mad because I am not going to see him all weekend, and he promised me that he was going to take me out today. I dont' know what to do....should I try to save this relationship, or is it too much to handle?

[Bill]

In my mind, I'd be with a girlfriend every time that I had a chance. I MAKE time. Think of it this way, people do what is most important to them, what they enjoy most. There's no other reason. Working today was MORE important than YOU! I took this from two girls so far, and it just gets worse. Fighting all the time is bad, and is showing that you don't belong together. Get rid of this guy and find someone who will want to be with you.

Okay I have been dating this guy for like 5 months now. I really care for him. Now we fight all of the time and I really try to no fight. Okay take tonight for instance: we were supposed to have plans to go out to eat and then go to a movie. He wanted to go to work instead to make up Wednesday, he missed because he was sick. Okay my boyfriend does need to work, but missing one day isn't going to hurt...especially when he was sick. He is only 18 and all he has to pay for is gas and his cell phone bill. He always has 200 extra dollars. I don't see the point of making up the day. I got so mad because I am not going to see him all weekend, and he promised me that he was going to take me out today. I dont' know what to do....should I try to save this relationship, or is it too much to handle?

[Tony T]

The frequency of your fights can be problematic. Also, I don't understand that if he's working tonight why you can't see him all weekend...but whatever you say.

 

If you're dating a guy and he fights with you all the time and doesn't make time to see you at acceptable intervals, I'd say he's not a keeper. If he doesn't make you feel good or secure in the relationship, what is the purpose of it?

[clia]

If you're already fighting at five months, this relationship is not a keeper. At five months, you should still be getting to know each other and not be getting pissed off about stupid things. He was sick and he had to make up work! Cut the guy some slack! You should be happy to find a guy who has a good work ethic.

Okay I have been dating this guy for like 5 months now. I really care for him. Now we fight all of the time and I really try to no fight. Okay take tonight for instance: we were supposed to have plans to go out to eat and then go to a movie. He wanted to go to work instead to make up Wednesday, he missed because he was sick. Okay my boyfriend does need to work, but missing one day isn't going to hurt...especially when he was sick. He is only 18 and all he has to pay for is gas and his cell phone bill. He always has 200 extra dollars. I don't see the point of making up the day. I got so mad because I am not going to see him all weekend, and he promised me that he was going to take me out today. I dont' know what to do....should I try to save this relationship, or is it too much to handle?

[marge]

If i were you, i would be happy that i have such a hard working and responsible guy. Hard to find a guy his age who is like that. be glad that he was working and not going out with his friends.

 

Okay I have been dating this guy for like 5 months now. I really care for him. Now we fight all of the time and I really try to no fight. Okay take tonight for instance: we were supposed to have plans to go out to eat and then go to a movie. He wanted to go to work instead to make up Wednesday, he missed because he was sick. Okay my boyfriend does need to work, but missing one day isn't going to hurt...especially when he was sick. He is only 18 and all he has to pay for is gas and his cell phone bill. He always has 200 extra dollars. I don't see the point of making up the day. I got so mad because I am not going to see him all weekend, and he promised me that he was going to take me out today. I dont' know what to do....should I try to save this relationship, or is it too much to handle?

[Bill]

Responsible doesn't equal working. There are many more people at this age that are more responsible than this loser. Having arguements after 5 months!!! What is wrong with this guy? Anyone can get a job at Mc Donalds, but that doesn't make them responsible. This guy seems to be one fry short of a Happy Meal.

If i were you, i would be happy that i have such a hard working and responsible guy. Hard to find a guy his age who is like that. be glad that he was working and not going out with his friends.

[:)]

I don't get it...because he is working tonight to make up for the day of work he lost Wednesday, you're now not going to see him all weekend? Why not? What's he doing for the rest of the weekend?

 

In all honesty, I can think of worse reasons for you not being able to see him tonight. Him being that committed to his job, at such a young age, is a great thing. Would you rather he blow you off because he wants to go hang with "the boys"?

 

For all you know, maybe he has a boss or supervisor who gave him a hard time about missing work on Wednesday (even though he was apparently sick)...maybe he feels bad about it and wants to make up for it by working tonight. Or maybe he's trying to make a good impression at work so that he can get promoted down the road.....Let's face it, work is a big part of most people's lives.

 

Maybe he CAN'T afford to have missed that one shift..maybe he needs that money for something...to help out his family, to buy his Mom a Mother's Day gift, to buy himself some clothes or underwear or maybe to buy you something. Who knows? Why didn't you just ask him WHY he felt he needed to work so bad? Only HE knows the answer to that. Ask him, you might better understand once he explains it.

 

But the fact that you say you fight a lot, that's not a good thing. What kind of things do you fight about?

[velvet]

Im sort of in the same boat with you, I find it all to hard to believe that a man would work all damn day, and than all damn night instead of going out with me. 15 hour day is pretty damn long. I couldnt hold up that long in fact I cant recall the last time I worked a 15 hour day. What a minute I do it was in 1994.

 

But thats just my situation

 

You have been with this man for many months, just because he worked late one day doesnt mean you have to get so pissy that you call the r/s off. Let it go, and tell him to make it up to you. All that extra money hes making! Tell him you want at least 40%.

Okay I have been dating this guy for like 5 months now. I really care for him. Now we fight all of the time and I really try to no fight. Okay take tonight for instance: we were supposed to have plans to go out to eat and then go to a movie. He wanted to go to work instead to make up Wednesday, he missed because he was sick. Okay my boyfriend does need to work, but missing one day isn't going to hurt...especially when he was sick. He is only 18 and all he has to pay for is gas and his cell phone bill. He always has 200 extra dollars. I don't see the point of making up the day. I got so mad because I am not going to see him all weekend, and he promised me that he was going to take me out today. I dont' know what to do....should I try to save this relationship, or is it too much to handle?

[Jenn]

Okay we fight about stupid things. Like him telling me that he was going to call and he doesn't because he is with his friend, who happens to be a girl....he tells me that they are just good friends. I can see where he is coming from because I had a guy best friend once, but he passed away. Anyways, she tells him to break up with me all the time. That just makes me so mad. I don't know this girl so I can't confront her. He won't let us meet.

 

The reason why i can't see him all weekend is because I made plans with my friends. And I made them at the begining of the week. I am not going to change them because he wants to work on the night that he promised me that he would take me out.

 

And his work, well they don't care if he comes in or not. He can give any reason to not come in and they would be fine with it. and he can't really move up in the job. He works at cart country. He works on the carts so he gets paid more than others, other than the boss's. One day of not working is not going to hurt. I don't know. This is stupid. I don't want to get hurt again. I don't think that I could live through another heartbreak

[Jenn]

In all honesty, I don't know who would want to put up with me. All I attract is jerks. I would just once want to attract a nice man. But when or if that will happen I don't know.

 

Thank you for your advice. I will be sure to keep that in mind. I wish there were more people like you out there.

[:)]

Yeah, hard to believe that there really are some motivated, ambitious, hard-working people out there..who'd rather spend a Saturday night working and making an income versus getting plastered and dancing all over the tables at a club. Amazing.

 

And:

 

"All that extra money hes making! Tell him you want at least 40%"

 

Excuse me? Surely you must be kidding here. If a guy decides to work hard for his money, versus spending the same night getting pissed up and killing brain cells or whatever other things he could be doing instead, you say he should give her 40% of what he makes? She can get off her keester and make her own damn money. Is that what you expect of men, to spend nearly half of their money on you? How pathetic and tacky.