a healthy progression

[Guest]

the healing process is different for everyone and the stages are never the same - if u are the dumper you would have gone thru these things earlier and the dumper later. in my case, that first letter hung like a noose around my neck for months on end while people in the know went about their lives and witnessed my struggle...i still cannot believe to this day that 6 months would pass and i would still be left up to me to find a way to take the rope off. but i did, hence letter #2. and the important point, regarding honesty and healing is this, i had a blow out, ranted - for maybe 3 hours - and then, peace.

 

I had to wait 6 months to do that because no one would step up to the plate. another huge lesson learned and the first thing i did during the nights of silence was cultivated real friends, people that don't take sides but see each and every one of us and unique and worthwhile. and that is why i only needed to go thru two stages - i was yelling this out - but it was like i was a ghost - everyone was far to busy with their agendas to notice the heartbroken fool in the distance - oh he's just a fool on the hill, look how weak and needy he is! and that's ok. u don't force people towards compassion. they either see it or they don't. lesson learned #451

 

 

I still cannot eat. I felt like I've accepted what's been going on, until this morning. I woke up missing you terribly. Again. And I am still oping to see you coming down the path we have walked together. I really wish to see that and I firmly believe that it will happen, but then I don't know what I would do. In my mind if that happens, that is the happy ending. In reality it would maybebe just a coincident. I am a hopeless romantic. I will never stop loving you.

I want to hate you but I can't, I want to stop loving you but I can't, I want to forget you but I can't allow my self.

"I didn't hear you leave, I wonder how am I still here, I don't want to move a thing - it might change my memory. I am what I am but I can't hide, I won't go, I won't sleep, I can't breath, until you're resting here with me. I won't call my friends, they might wake me from this dream, and I can't leave this bed, risk forgetting all that's been."

The Sun is shining but it's raining in my heart. Although I've been mistreated I keep coming back for more. I know where I'm going, there's no hope of absolution.

"Noone understands the heartache, noone feels the pain, cuz noone ever sees the tears"

 

Now, I feel the letter would be more like:

 

If I ever see your lying cheating face again, I will smash that cake of yours in it. I am glad you are out of my life. I cannot express how excited I am that it is finally over and that I don't have to listen to your lies anymore.

Make sure you never cross my path again, as I have your cake ready to be thrown. I cannot believe I fell for your act, but I must bow to your skills. You put up a great show for all of us.

 

So would you be willing to share your changes in thinking when it comes to your lost love?