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The Stubborn Guy Cracked...


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He had 45 minutes,

 

what is it with the 45 mins stuff ? I drive 30-40 mins one way to work each and every day... So him driving 45 mins isn't some sort of feat that he should be applauded for..

it's nothing and something that the romantics are asking her to hold on to..

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Hi Dee. Did he say he loved you? Showed you? Was there a wall or you weren't just getting the response you wanted? Is this part of his personality? He has a pattern of bolting? Hmmm. Are these deal breakers? See, you are more rational! You'll figure it out. And which ever way it goes I'm sure it will be the best direction for you.

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He had 45 minutes, driving in a car, to give up on his moment of weakness. This is not a moment of weakness. He is trying to work some issues out for himself and you have to give him the time to figure it out.

 

D, don't sell yourself short. You know it's more then that.

 

I'm curious now. Did he say, when he was there, that he showed up to work things out? (This might change a few things in my perspective on things).

 

Hi K...

 

No, he just said "Can we please talk?"

And I answered that I couldn't talk at the moment because it wasn't a good time. I told him I'd get in touch and we could get together and talk.

That's really all that was said. I really did have to get going, and I didn't want my date to show up and have an awkward moment...

 

He said OK, and we stared at each other for a while, then I thought I was going to cry, so I walked inside my place....

 

So, I don't know what it's about really. Of course, now I'm curious!

 

Ahhh, why do relationships have to be so complicated??

D

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Ohhh! So he was not very expressive, verbally or physically, with you? That's not good, Dee. I'm not a very expressive kinda guy either, but once I decide I love a woman and want to be with her, I am. I would think that would be a deal breaker for you.

 

Hmmm. Are you sure he didn't just like you for other reasons: convenience? friendship? sex? because you're pretty? was he settling? he didn't want to be lonely? Is that really the kind of guy you want? I want someone that's head-over-heels for me; that thinks I'm the best thing since sliced bread. You deserve that. As Dr. Laura says, "would he swim through shark infested waters to bring you lemonade?"

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He had 45 minutes, driving in a car, to give up on his moment of weakness. This is not a moment of weakness. He is trying to work some issues out for himself and you have to give him the time to figure it out.

 

D, don't sell yourself short. You know it's more then that.

 

 

 

I'm curious now. Did he say, when he was there, that he showed up to work things out? (This might change a few things in my perspective on things).

 

ARGHGHGHGHGH...that's the thing about posting messages. sometimes things change. like obviously this post is stating frustration because there has been no communication, and the tone sounds correct and true, maybe if communication occurs after that, the tone is much soften...frankly give me face to face anyday

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Yep, that's bang on. Not expressive verbally or physically, it was actually the lack of verbal expression that frustrated me more than anything else.

I don't think that will ever change. I really do want to move on and forget about him.

 

I want more out a relationship than I had with him.

 

I am also prepared to wait and not settle.

You should wait and not settle either!

;)

D

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I am now thinking about the advice you gave me at one point, which was so bang on, I got teary-eyed.

 

He hasn't forgotten you- you can't have that intense of a relationship and then just forget about them.

 

I know the stubborn guy will show up in your life again. I understand that his suddent eruption and then withdrawal must be unbearable.

 

You've been doing so good! But if it feels like you're playing a game, then maybe you should stop playing... And get in touch with him. For closure.

 

The bottom line is you have to do what's best for you. And follow your heart.

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Thanks K,

 

It always gets better with time... And I simply don't want to play games anymore!

 

I made my last attempt- and that's all I am prepared to do at this point.

 

I am prepared to have it be over for good. The last contact has left me with a momentary setback, but I am recovering quickly.

 

Hope you're doing well.

D

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