DId I scare him off??

[Strangemagik]

I confessed through a couple text messages that I like my guy friend. I have for some time only I did nothing but try to be his friend and get closer from there. We used to work together then went from seeing each other 5 days a week to seeing each other once a week and in last couple months I've seen him once but didn't really get to talk one on one with him any that time. I've been sad and missing him so I called last weekend. He was out with a friend from his new job and said call him later. I did 3 hours later and he was still there so I said "hey I can call you later" and didn't. I sent him a message that I was sorry I didn't get back to him and the next day tried calling him again. He was busy at work but sounded kinda annoyed with me so I sent him a confession that perhaps I shouldn't have but it wasn't too detailed just I really like you alot.

 

Well I haven't heard from him since Tuesday and don't know what to think. My friends say "don't worry", or "he is probably in shock" "let it sink in" I just feel the urge to explain things a bit but am refraining from any more contact for now. Maybe next week I'll send him a message that is okay for him to not reply or respond that I just had to get it out(the tension and frustration was too high for me) and that I'd like to still be friends "if" or when he is ready.

 

I was really trying hard to not call/text too much and kept is usually to one or two days but some weeks was more if I was having a bad week. Its just he told me to call him back. He did call me sometimes though not usually without a text message or something. In the beginning anyway.

 

Now I'm even more confused. So far it hasn't hit me that he may never respond or talk to me again.

 

Does it really take awhile to sink in for guys??? Do you think he could have some mutual feelings and scared? Or not interested? We always had such great chemistry. In the beginning we'd be up hours at night on Saturday nights watching a movie and talking about our past, family stuff and all that.

[jaylee]

I'm sorry to say, but it sounds like he isn't interested in you, romantically anyway.

He enjoyed spending time with you as a friend, but that's it. Once you crossed the line, it sounds like he became a little freaked out.

I once worked with a guy who I got along with famously. We'd spend our breaks together, chat when either one of us wasn't busy, etc. He was who I considered my best guy friend. I'd confide in him when my boyfriend was being a jerk, and he'd be there to console me. Well, after almost two years of being completely clueless, I found out he had a HUGE crush on me. After that, things got weird. I began to question some of the things he did, and became worried that I was giving him a false sense of hope that we'd become "more than friends." To me, he was and always will be just a friend. I just didn't see him as a relationship prospect. Don't get me wrong - he was absolutely wonderful, but I just wasn't attracted to him that way.

I would back off for a little while. Lay off the phone calls and text messages. Put your mind onto other things. Keep your prospects open - don't limit yourself to having a crush just on this guy. You'd be surprised how many other potential suitors there are when you stop focusing on one person and open yourself up to the big picture.

After awhile, (and I mean weeks, or even a month) try contacting him, but be VERY casual and keep it to a minimum. Just something like, "Hey, it's been awhile. How have you been?" Really light and breezy. If he responds favourably, ease back into the friendship that way. If not, sorry honey, but you should do yourself a favour and move on. If not, it'll only torture you, and you deserve WAY better than that!

[Strangemagik]

I'm sure he was interested at some point. He even told me so maybe not in so many words.

 

He came to the place I was staying(friends) every Saturday for 2 months and I KNOW he hated the friend and wasn't that fond of her boyfriend either. He told me so many times. But you right he could have changed his mind or lost interest. We will see. I've surprisingly done a lot better than I thought or I'm in denial.

 

I've talked to his mom a couple times since she seemed to be normal friendly self. She was my boss before when we all worked together. I see her almost everyday she works where my daughter goes to school. She asked me last week if I've filed my divorce yet(yes I'm in process of divorce have been separated for 4 months now) which I haven't but only because I have to fill in debt info and now change my address on sooooo many forms since I've recently moved. Eventually she will know if she doesn't already which I suspect she did/does since he is so close to her and tells her everything.

 

I've backed off but did send a text last night to let him know it was okay not to respond now or ever that I understand so I will just wait and see give him time and space and try to get on with life for now. I have so much to do with divrocess papers and getting set up to move into an apartment soon(staying with family).

[Strangemagik]

Oh and he is also very much a shy type guy and was raise SOOOOO different than most. His parents are still together and a friend told me today that she was talking with his mom about married women and I guess his dad brought him up saying if he ever messed with a married woman he'd disown him. INTERESTING??? My friend also told me he was hurt really really bad in last relationship. He proposed and she broke his heart. She think he likes me just that he is scared of getting hurt again.

[jaylee]

Ok, after reading your further posts, he could just be scared of commitment or of getting hurt again. Anyway, whatever the reason, it sounds like he just needs time. Good luck.