JohnnyBlu Posted October 28, 2006 Share Posted October 28, 2006 Hello, I have a very serious problem and I was just looking for some advice, input, anything to help me come to a conclusion. Me and my girlfriend have been together for nearly three years now. We are not married but we have a 1 1/2 year old daughter together. I love her with all my heart and honestly beleive that she loves me as well. The other day she told me that she wanted experience new things. She finally came to tell me that she wanted to have sex with another man. She knows the person she wants to do it with and has already given it some thought. She told me that I can have relations with another girl if I chose. I do not want to do so. I told her I would think about it. She wants to do this. I have given much thought and am wanting to break up with her but I just can't do it. I want to stay together but I don't know if I can do it happily. Is there any way to resolve this without losing her? Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted October 28, 2006 Share Posted October 28, 2006 Hello, I have a very serious problem and I was just looking for some advice, input, anything to help me come to a conclusion. Me and my girlfriend have been together for nearly three years now. We are not married but we have a 1 1/2 year old daughter together. I love her with all my heart and honestly beleive that she loves me as well. The other day she told me that she wanted experience new things. She finally came to tell me that she wanted to have sex with another man. She knows the person she wants to do it with and has already given it some thought. She told me that I can have relations with another girl if I chose. I do not want to do so. I told her I would think about it. She wants to do this. I have given much thought and am wanting to break up with her but I just can't do it. I want to stay together but I don't know if I can do it happily. Is there any way to resolve this without losing her? Wow, I am sorry for what you are going through. What she is doing is not morally right and also because the two of you don't agree to it makes it even worse. She obviously doesn't respect your relationship. Sounds to me like she wants her cake and to eat it too. If she really did love you, then she would not have this desire. It just sucks because the two of you have a child together. Link to post Share on other sites
aprilrain Posted October 28, 2006 Share Posted October 28, 2006 She is sick ...get her some therapy ......... Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted October 28, 2006 Share Posted October 28, 2006 I am so sorry for you. This is totally unacceptable. If you allow this then she will destroy your self-esteem and self-worth. My friend she has already left you. She knows the guy she wants to screw and she does not care if you have sex with other women. She clearly is staying with you for her material benefits. She is a cake-eater. Face the facts and move on or wait until she gives you an STD and your ego is totally destroyed. Do not let her humiliate you in such a way. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 Thanx any thing else? Link to post Share on other sites
Flyin in Clouds Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 .... Me and my girlfriend have been together for nearly three years now. We are not married but we have a 1 1/2 year old daughter together. I love her with all my heart and honestly beleive that she loves me as well. First, why aren't you married? You have a kid but aren't married? How is that good for the kid? I take it you are both rather young. Was she a virgin when you got her pregnant? Hmmmm..... are you sure it's your kid? Don't mean to be mean but... And how did she get pregnant anyway? Have you heard of birth control? And lastly, no she doesn't love you if she wants to screw some other dude. And because of that don't waste one second crying over her. She's not worth it. Now some couples, that do have very strong relationships do have "open marriages" or engaging in swinging, but that is only when both partners are mature and trust each other and abide by the rules the two agree to - like no close friends, only doing it out of town - discreetly , or each gets absolute veto over the others choices etc. In your case, since you don't want other women and don't want her to have other men those aren't options. See part of the reason this has come up, I'd guess, is she wants to know what it's like to be with someone other than you if you were her first and only lover. She dind't get through her "wild oats" stage before becoming a parent, so she hasn't matured. Or she's just a natural born slut... I don't know. And so what is that basis of your commitment to one another? See that's the problem with not getting married. You haven't settled that issue. You could ask her to marry you, but you would have to explain to her that meant no other men in her life but you, and no other women in your life but her. You would have to be the judge if she was sincere if she agreed to stay monogamous. Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted October 29, 2006 Share Posted October 29, 2006 You should tell her that there's no way you will be in an "open" relationship, and the moment she ever does anything with anyone else, you will immediately dump her. Then if you are *really* desperate to stay with her, and she agrees to stay faithful permanently, then *maybe* you should try to work it out. But IMO it's just a matter of time before she strays, if she is feeling like this. I'd cut your losses and move on, painful as it may seem. Link to post Share on other sites
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