Rim Posted April 16, 2002 Share Posted April 16, 2002 I have been going out with my g/f (chris) for two and a half months and everything was almost perfect until a week ago. I was talking with one of her roomates(jen) and she told me that my girlfriend had a few guy friends over one night a few days before and one of them slept in her room. I was angry at this so i confronted chris about it not telling her who i got the information from and she denied the whole thing that night. And i didn't beleive her we had a long talk the next day and she said that there were guys over but they were her sisters friends and that she was scared to tell me because she thought that i would flip out and she said none of them spent the night. And so i talked to her friend about it and she said that the door was closed i don't know what went on she told me in private that nothing went on even though the guys stayed over that night and she had no reason to lie and so i told myself even if it was true i'll beleive that nothing happend and I left it at that because my g/f was practically begging me to beleive her and she said she loved be so much etc. etc... so i decided to beleive her but keep my eyes wide open....do you think i should dump her? Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted April 16, 2002 Share Posted April 16, 2002 My first question is what her roommate's motives are in telling you. That seems a little fishy to me. Are they good friends? If so, is it possible the roommate likes you? I don't know many girls who would go behind their friend's back and gossip to their boyfriend about them. Are you sure that SHE is telling the truth or doesn't have ulterior motives? As far as your girlfriend, let's get this straight: 1. When you first brought it up she denied the whole thing. 2. The second time she conceded and said they were over but no one stayed the night. 3. The third time she conceded again and said that they did stay the night but nothing happened. Is that right? I got confused with some of the pronouns. So she says she has no reason to lie, but she did lie AT LEAST twice. I don't buy the excuse that she thought you would be mad. That's ridiculous. If NOTHING happened and all was innocent, what did she have to hide? Why would you ever be mad? My question is, why did they (or he) have to stay in her room? Is this an apartment or a dorm room? Were there any other people in the room? What were the sleeping arrangements? (I'm assuming you asked all these questions?) Only you know whether or not to dump her, since you obviously know more about the relationship than we do, but I think the whole thing sounds pretty fishy. That said, at 2 1/2 months, your relationship is fairly new. Are you sure the two of you are exclusive? Have you had "the talk"? But if she's lying to you already, things don't look good for the future. Relationships are built on trust. I can't help but feel that if she truly had nothing to hide, the next day she would've immediately told you that some of her sister's friends stayed over and that they were guys. I have been going out with my g/f (chris) for two and a half months and everything was almost perfect until a week ago. I was talking with one of her roomates(jen) and she told me that my girlfriend had a few guy friends over one night a few days before and one of them slept in her room. I was angry at this so i confronted chris about it not telling her who i got the information from and she denied the whole thing that night. And i didn't beleive her we had a long talk the next day and she said that there were guys over but they were her sisters friends and that she was scared to tell me because she thought that i would flip out and she said none of them spent the night. And so i talked to her friend about it and she said that the door was closed i don't know what went on she told me in private that nothing went on even though the guys stayed over that night and she had no reason to lie and so i told myself even if it was true i'll beleive that nothing happend and I left it at that because my g/f was practically begging me to beleive her and she said she loved be so much etc. etc... so i decided to beleive her but keep my eyes wide open....do you think i should dump her? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 16, 2002 Share Posted April 16, 2002 Speaking from experience, this will not be a keeper. There is an element of deception here. However, keep dating her. You will basically send the message to her that it is OK for her to deceive you, at least by ommitting important facts, and she'll do it again sometime...you'll catch her...and you can dump her then. Link to post Share on other sites
Celia Posted April 16, 2002 Share Posted April 16, 2002 It takes time to learn more about your girlfriend. More communication is needed. If you do like her, then spend more time on her and love her. Finally, you should ask yourself whether you like her temperament and decide whether you will be with her. Link to post Share on other sites
ok Posted April 16, 2002 Share Posted April 16, 2002 Unless the guy was a complete fag, getting into a girl's bedchamber for the night with the door closed he was inside her hottie chamber about 15 minutes later - or less. Sorry to tell ya, but I think you already know this. If things were on the up and up your girlfriend would not be inclined to hide the "truth" from you. Not only that, he never would have been given the green light to sleep in her room either. I suppose she's going to try to say that he slept ont he floor? When that doesn't wash, he slept on the bed, but on top of the covers. Then it'll be he slept under the covers, but with his clothes on. yadd-yadda-yadda. She f***ed him. Move on if you want a trustworthy girlfriend, you'll have to look elsewhere. BTW, that trustworthy girl you seek is not the roommate either, she has her own reasons for outing her. Link to post Share on other sites
Rim Posted April 17, 2002 Share Posted April 17, 2002 My first question is what her roommate's motives are in telling you. That seems a little fishy to me. Are they good friends? If so, is it possible the roommate likes you? I don't know many girls who would go behind their friend's back and gossip to their boyfriend about them. Are you sure that SHE is telling the truth or doesn't have ulterior motives? As far as your girlfriend, let's get this straight: 1. When you first brought it up she denied the whole thing. 2. The second time she conceded and said they were over but no one stayed the night. 3. The third time she conceded again and said that they did stay the night but nothing happened. Is that right? I got confused with some of the pronouns. So she says she has no reason to lie, but she did lie AT LEAST twice. I don't buy the excuse that she thought you would be mad. That's ridiculous. If NOTHING happened and all was innocent, what did she have to hide? Why would you ever be mad? My question is, why did they (or he) have to stay in her room? Is this an apartment or a dorm room? Were there any other people in the room? What were the sleeping arrangements? (I'm assuming you asked all these questions?) Only you know whether or not to dump her, since you obviously know more about the relationship than we do, but I think the whole thing sounds pretty fishy. That said, at 2 1/2 months, your relationship is fairly new. Are you sure the two of you are exclusive? Have you had "the talk"? But if she's lying to you already, things don't look good for the future. Relationships are built on trust. I can't help but feel that if she truly had nothing to hide, the next day she would've immediately told you that some of her sister's friends stayed over and that they were guys. Thanx for your advice...............I was told that there was no room in the main room for the guy to sleep so he went in to chis's room while she was sleeping. And someone told me that her roomate thought i was hot so maybe she did have other motives.......i don't know. And she still says no one was in the room which i don't know if it was true because her friend and her sister said nothing happened. But i mean there her friends so i don't know if i can totally count on their words.And your right about her lying so i mean i don't know if i can ever forgive her for that. The only reason i didn't dump her was because what if she's telling me the truth. And to answer your question there were about 7 people in the 2 room basement sweet. A few days after the incedent she bought be a blue rose and gave me a card saying about how much she loved me and also had a bottle of champagne for me......she obviously was trying to prove to me that she likes me. And then she told me yesterday that she had a suprise for me this friday. Her roomate told me that she was so worried about me breaking up with her that day that we fought so maybe she did feel bad about the whole thing....or maybe she's trying to cover up what happend i don't know.She seems to be trying real hard to keep me so i'm going to keep on going out with her but just be cautious and go at it at a slow pace. Link to post Share on other sites
Rim Posted April 17, 2002 Share Posted April 17, 2002 Speaking from experience, this will not be a keeper. There is an element of deception here. However, keep dating her. You will basically send the message to her that it is OK for her to deceive you, at least by ommitting important facts, and she'll do it again sometime...you'll catch her...and you can dump her then. thanx for the advice. you might be right. Link to post Share on other sites
Rim Posted April 17, 2002 Share Posted April 17, 2002 Unless the guy was a complete fag, getting into a girl's bedchamber for the night with the door closed he was inside her hottie chamber about 15 minutes later - or less. Sorry to tell ya, but I think you already know this. If things were on the up and up your girlfriend would not be inclined to hide the "truth" from you. Not only that, he never would have been given the green light to sleep in her room either. I suppose she's going to try to say that he slept ont he floor? When that doesn't wash, he slept on the bed, but on top of the covers. Then it'll be he slept under the covers, but with his clothes on. yadd-yadda-yadda. She f***ed him. Move on if you want a trustworthy girlfriend, you'll have to look elsewhere. BTW, that trustworthy girl you seek is not the roommate either, she has her own reasons for outing her. You could be right if this did happen.....but I aslo will say this If i'm good friends with a girl i wouldn't try anything on her if we were just friends if i were to sleep with the girl. thanx for your advice Link to post Share on other sites
ok Posted April 22, 2002 Share Posted April 22, 2002 You don't sound like you lived toomuch of your life yet. I speak from experience. Naive or not, your girl slept with another guy. Whether she intended to, ot intended to admit it to herself, or just acted to you and herself as if she was led astray (a lot of women use this expcuse, especially young ones "in love" with a boyfriend even as they play with another guy), she humped another guy and you have to deal with it. How? Walking, staying, being a man, being a pussy, it'sall up to you. But at least calling it what it was would be useful and adult. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts