lovers in a dangerous time

[Guest]

Lovers In A Dangerous Time

By Bruce

 

Hi everyone. My name is Bruce. I started “working” on this story about year ago. It initially started out as a romance piece, but like all works in progress the storyline kept ch-ch-ch-changing. Well, the story went from romantic beginnings, to a honest to goodness love story, then, as per usual with all great stories, a crisis moment was needed to throw everything up in the air [that’s what readers really like because that’s when each person must make a moral and ethical decision – and in order to have this happen there must be some sort of villain or revengeful person to cause trouble and manipulate and test the metal of each individual]. The beauty of real life stories as compared to Hollywood paint by number pieces is there usually is not a happy ending for all. And that is EXACTLY how it is in this case.

 

There are three main characters in this piece: E, C, and G. There are a few character actors that play important roles in all this [Dumb ass, Hook, Junk and Trouble, Johnny Rotten and Mr. Regrettable]. Let me introduce you to all of them:

 

1. E stands of envy. E is a lovely woman that had the misfortune of having an extremely difficult family where mental illness was an undercurrent. E at times is a caring, creative soul but her major flaw is perfection and vindictiveness. Early in life she was in relationship with truly horrible men, and even though she found the strength to escape their grasp and actually stand up for herself – there is only so much one can take when you are a single mother, struggling to provide a safe and respectful environment for her children, while being pestered by an ex who happened to have a fondness for hookers and crack cocaine. At some point, whether because of men or simply because it was part of her soul, E began a bi-life and started dating women but as is usually the case when this happens out of these types of circumstance, E would often choose women that really weren’t suited for her. Perhaps this uncertainty could be related to the possibility that she jumped fences out of anger against the men that had treated her poorly, and the fact that she would start dating whenever her roommate did, was her jealous way of striking back. Because, trust me, this is what she does.

 

E will go months in a fog, and let her life pile up, and drift doing what she believes is her calling, only to have to snap herself awake and start dealing with real life – and doing that is hard work – so, slowly, year after year, she began externalize her faults, onto the male population in general [regardless of who that person was – if u are a man – u are to blame]. So, Envy lived in a big house on Earwig Avenue with 2 children [not sure if from two different men but I believe so], with one lovable but stinky dawg, 15 cats, and lots of bills and time on her hands. That is where fate [which happens way too much in this story] brings Confused into Envy’s life.

 

2. C stands for Confused. C is a contradiction which at times is unknown to herself. Like Envy, her early beginnings are not what you would like to start your life journey as. From a mother that truly withheld love, to rebellion and embracing the independence of being the black sheep, to having that false confidence lead her time after time into the arms of troubled bad ass men [not bad bois in the good sense, but bad ass for your soul]. C’s early denial of parental love left a huge scar inside her, this in turn created a blockage in her ability to truly give and be loved, and this early abuse from her mother was the beginning of an internalization process where she truly believed that it was her, not her mother that was the problem. So this would eventually led to having huge and powerful feelings for the very first boy that showed some affection and made her feel worthy.

 

And like that scar from her mother, this would be another scar for her because as always is the case with high school romances, there is never any depth to them – they are truly surface and only because we as a person simply have no developed enuff cognitive skills to recognize that yet [this happens in your 30s and 40s]. So, Mr, High School won her heart, then broke it by leaving her, and from that moment on C was in a holding pattern, and began the process of living life in a numb existence. The rationale being if you don’t feel anything, you won’t get hurt. Unfortunately this is an extremely dangerous way go thru life because your soul will fight against that and you will end up putting yourself in situations you actually seek out abusive relationship as a way to punish yourself.

 

And the problem with this is that it feeds on itself, the more you hate yourself, the more abuse you want and will get, and the more you will engage in activities and with people that will crush your soul because you haven’t found that path, that way out yet – that one person that comes into your life simple for your betterment. So, after a string of boyfriends, and bouncing aimlessly around, C began the process of conditioning herself to allow the physiciality of life [the face, the height, the way someone charmed and showered her with words] to become the way she accepted affection and how she received her self –worth. But once again because her soul knew better, eventually she would run, cause trouble and begin the process of devaluing her body [do I look fat] and do so simply because that was the only way she received self worth – unfortunately, at the price of self-esteem.

 

So, while she had street smarts, and a quick wit, and a lust for life, she was blind to the other determent facts and ended up dating a man, having a child with him, letting him abuse her in unthinkable ways, devalue every single core value she had [which she would in turn do to another as a way of downloading her pain] and then somehow she found the strength to leave and she turned to an old friend E, and they lived together on Earwig Avenue.

 

So, two women, single mom’s, working here and there, going to school part time, coming out of truly horrible abusive relationship where one changed her entire affection for genders and the other in a extreme fog of depression [it was more than that but not treated properly]. So they had this immediate bond, but were polar opposites – one quite detailed oriented, driven by external ambition but crippled by internal confusion – one quite random oriented, driven by constant change but crippled by generalized yet focused revenge. At some point these two women ended up taking what was given to them by men [the feeling of being worthy of nothing, and using that to give back that feeling to men who were strangers – and they did so without regret because they had being numbed and had a view that included, not forgiveness but payback, they did so in a way, that was safe for them [coward] using internet dating sites, and they did so because in their world this seemed like an acceptable way of entertaining themselves.

 

Unfortunately, C did not realize that E had feelings for her, so every time C dated it would hurt E. And E would pullback, stay away for days, and start doing little things around the house, that would annoy C in the hope that C would feel bad. This is a dangerous way to solve life's problems – but this is how they learned to deal with life and deal with themselves. So, E and C would go on many dating sites and sex chat rooms and make fake profiles and in many cases twist and turn the lives of good men.

 

And this is where G comes in

 

3. G stands for Gullible. G had come out of a 17 year marriage. A one woman kinda man with socialization flaws that had forever cause him trouble. He understood the concepts of honesty and trust and respect but because he hadn’t been taught how in order to have those you need a foundation of boundaries and removal of shame and pity and guilt, G often blamed others for his troubles because he hadn’t become a good listener yet. Like E and C he had been denied love and value early in life so these were his blocks, he had them just like E and C. The main difference between the three was G’s naïve belief in the innate goodness of humans. That when push came to shove, we would always help our fellow person. That you do not kick some when they are down. Anyways, here is the coles notes version of how fate placed E and C and G together and instead of happy ends, a tragic end for all ensued.

 

So C and G met on a dating site. But in many ways they had met before. See E and C had been on these sites for a while, setting up men on false runs, and sometimes C would sneak out on E and actually meet someone if she thought he was good looking. C and E would do this fake game on G quite a number of times, before he actually met them, when he started dating C, during a period where G was near death struggling with depression and addiction, to the point where all he wanted to do was punish himself and doing so by doing things he knew would corrupt his soul and possible help him pull the trigger. C and E did the fake profile and ‘shown’ interest first off Lava Life [and they started a trend that G would eventually see clearly but keep to himself], then when G was at the depths of despair, ripped apart because C had an affair with his best friend in the middle of their relationship, G withdrew from life and started doing things that he would never do if healthy.

 

He escaped just like E and C had into a fantasy world where their actions meant nothing because no feelings were ever attached. So, because C had an affair, and felt guilty, she started to withdraw from G because guilt made her feel shameful, and in reality she continued affairs because she didn’t expect to end up in a long term relationship, with someone that truly loved her, when all that she had known was hit and runs. So, because she felt unworthy, she purposely sabotaged something she truly wanted but didn’t know how to accept. And G didn’t see, was blinded by his Love of her and all that she was capable of and he tried to bring out these things hidden in her. And that had the opposite effect on C and it made her feel like she was co-dependent so she pushed away because of a false need of independence that she blamed on G. And this was fueled by E who would plants seeds of doubt and anger in C and she did so because she had feelings for C and would rather have C in her life and not share her.

 

And as soon as C and G got more serious and started living together, E was able to capitalize on C’s sabotaging by affair with Mr. Regrettable [who in of himself was a truly evil man, who listened to G’s concerns as he was a best friend and would use them to trap C and Mr. R was one of those vain men that used his looks as a weapon and eventually he charmed C away from G and then E had more problems]. So, in order to justify affairs and envy, C and E set up G when he had absolutely no compass at all and they screwed with his mind in sex chat rooms and with web cams and would then turn that around and claim he was a cheater and abuser – even though they were actually behind all of this. And the level of their unfeeling corruption led to hijacking G’s computer, stealing passwords, and emails, and documents, and setting up phoney forums in order to simply destroy an ordinary man that was in their way just because he loved C.

 

Finally C could not stand all her guilt so she packed up and left G and disappeared. At that point it is unclear what E and C did but they kept an eye on old G just in case that old bastard did the unthinkable and recover! But he did and got over the heartbreak and the calls to the police and the lies and criminal acts by C and E. They were so determined to ruin Gs life that they forgot that they were actually committing criminal acts and like every good detective knows, the is always an electronic footprint left whenever you go walking out in Internet land. So, C and E were happily doing what they wanted, and then suddenly G stopped and started his own life. He went on a dating site called POF of Fish and something called JandJ – where he was paid a couple of visits by E and C under disguise. But because he was healthy he know could see when it was real or when it was then.

 

So, he steered away from them and as luck would have it he found someone that would be worth of his time and love. So, as soon as that happened suddenly information about the Regrettable Affair appeared and was done so in order to illicit a response from G – which it did – but for only one day. Because after discussing it with his gf G realized how it really had no impact on him, he just cast it aside and paid all his attention on ensuring that C and E knew just what they had done and were doing and he gave them one day to cease and remove and repair and told them both they are not welcome in his life at any time and in any way because really who wants people that would do things like this to you in your life.

 

G told them he was contacting the Ottawa Fuzzies and was having a Pro-style TECH forseinetically tear down the footprint as proof – but he gave them one offer and they mocking and giggled. So, one chapter left to this piece..Would any one like to add their own ending?