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my toxic self will always be attached to that relationship


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i have had to face the fact, that i have relapsed with my addiction, my motivation, and everything else that is negative....i had a wake up call from the gf and she told me straight up...that any association with the past is just not healthy for me...and i agree...i've been 'doing', and 'sick' and 'reacting' just like when i was first left alone...so, i tried to see if i could be healthy and still form a friendship but the NC and the games poisons me. so i have to throw out everything because when i focussed elsewhere i was great. so, every c and l and g picture is in the comp trash [feel free to take the ones u want], any videos of the happy humping are there too. no more sites of horniness, no more wondering like a lost soul, i just have to get rid of it all because it just reminds me of the why i was treated at the end...that's all i feel - it makes me pull back down. so, i have changed the locks, i will change phone numbers and service providers, and buy a new computer - that's all she wrote - i want to live a great, healthy life and with the woman who is determined to do that with me.

guess i just wanted u to know - that i am officially out of the loop. stay kewl.

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