bimmerfan Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 Hi guys, I'm sure these stories get really boring after you hear them over and over again, but here goes anyways. (I'll try to make it as short as I can) My girlfriend and I have (had) been going out for almost 4 years. She was 14 when I met her and now she's 17. I was 15 and now I'm 18. All I could say is that it was pure bliss. We were an inspiration to alot of other couples in high school, and people had tons of respect for our maturity. Or at least for my maturity. We had our arguments, but it was mainly towards the beginning of the relationship, and we both quickly got over them realizing what we had with each other. We did so much together, and really worked perfectly. I'm serious, it was as if we were made with corresponding serial numbers upon birth. Every time I met up with her, I would smile. I don't know why, I just would. She would too. It really felt like we connected. I graduated out of highschool, thankfully, and got accepted to a school that's in the same city. I live at home, and she lives less than 10 mintues from me. We called each other very often, expressed our feelings.. blah blah. After I got accepted to college, I was able to see her twice a week and every other weekend (her parents are divorced and the mom is really clingy with her hence "every other weekend" its pretty complicated so not even I know how this divorce thing works). All was well until two weeks ago. I was doing what I normally did, pick her up, and bring her home. When I arrived at our high school to pick her up, I realized that she wasn't smiling or at least I couldn't tell. We got in the car and on the way home I asked her whats up? She said I need to tell you something when you drop me off. Immediatly I knew where this was going so I performed a little test. I held her hand and I noticed that she wasn't really holding it. Sort of half hearted. I drop her off, we talk. Eventually she says to me, "I think we should take a break from each other." Keep in mind I was her first boy friend and she was... Mainly, my first real girl friend. I didn't know how to take this and she said to me, "how do you do this sort of thing anyway? I don't know.." I was in a state of shock. I sat there quiet, confused and just played dumb because I really didn't know what to do. To make a long story short, we talked some more, I left while waving bye, and on the way home I could have sworn I felt like I was shot by a sawn off shot gun. I talked to as many people as I could, including herself. She cried on the phone and I tried asking her why she wanted all this and she wouldn't tell me. All she said (for the most part) was, "I don't think I can love you forever." I forgot to mention that she is involved in a sort of camping/cub scouts sort of thing. It has a few people she knows who are good friends with her. Someone that goes to my college who is in this club said that she is really good friends with this guy. Two more days pass, and my dad told me that she is definetly into this guy. What bothered me was that she didn't want to admit it. I picked up the phone and said this: "Hey, I have your stuff in a little box, and I'm on the road. I can do three things with this box. I can give it to you, I can throw it in the garbage. Or I can burn it. I'll be waiting for you at your house is that okay?" "Ok." (very unemotional on her part, no crying no nothing. Just flat out ok.) She was coming home from her meeting when I EXPLODED at her. In front of her friends and her friend's parents. I said, nasty things to her in front of her whole group and literally humilated her in front of everyone. (The parents/kids were in the car watching as they were dropping her off) If I stood there for an additional 30 seconds yelling someone would have called the cops on me. (Please take note that I did NOT touch her during all this.) I wanted my white gold heart necklace which I bought for her on valentines day back. And continued yelling. I said "Just because you have the hots for some other guy means you can use me as a spare tire!?" She said anxiously, "I think your jumping to conclusions." Then she got impatient with me and started walking to her house when I wished her, "yea I hope you die!" She was unphased by any of this! No crying! No oh my god. No nothing!!! 4 days later. I apologized. She accepted. I asked additional questions and got her to crack. She said shes digging that guy who shes friends with. I did not get upset with her. I told her that I was proud of her for telling me the truth. And I told her now that I was at peace. Later that night, I said "good luck with that guy. Let me know if it works out. Night" She said, "Night." The last time I spoke with her was 4 days ago. Guys, I am literally dieing on the inside. I want her back very badly but I know that if I beg her this will be a turn off. At the same time, I don't want her to forget who I am. She has been very cold with me, and the past few instances when I spoke to her its as if she didn't know me. I know I might sound stupid for saying this, but I do love her. (If your into astrology, shes a gemini and I am an aquarius. The guy she's digging is a capricorn.... wtf?) I'm trying the best I can to not be in contact with her. So far she has not called me. I have a feeling she will never have the desire to call me or even instant message me ever again. I have a feeling that shes being ignorant/stupid right now and might be going through a phase. I really have no idea. I'm not a player, and I want to be with someone in the long run and not a one nighter. What are the chances of her returning? Assuming I don't communicate with her would she try to get in touch with me? If she does get back with me, will I have to act completley differently? (I learned that expressing your feelings all the time annoys women and they end up hating you/ find you unattractive and such and then dump you. god forbid should a man fall in love with a woman huh?) Just to give you a background on the guy she likes: He's not as tall as I am, overweight, Dark brown eyes, is her age, doesn't have a car or drivers liscense and is part of this cub scounts thing. She says that one of the things she likes about him is his sense of humor. Me: 6'1'', dark blonde hair, blue eyes, some muscular build, and I drive an '05 BMW z4. I just mentioned the above in case you guys might change you mind on some things. I am not an *******, do not get me wrong. I'm really nice with most people. I treat her with total respect as well. I'm sure I have many more questions to ask but I can't at the moment. I'm sorry if this is long but I tried to give the bare essentials. Thank you all for any help you provide. -Bimmerfan Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 "Me: 6'1'', dark blonde hair, blue eyes, some muscular build, and I drive an '05 BMW z4." u sound so dreamy...teasing...i don't know anyone that i chillax with that is over 5'8" let alone drive a BMW do u have a profile still up on a dating site that i could see? i 'll send naked pix of some lass i banged in ireland in exchange Link to post Share on other sites
peterparks Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 You're young. You'll find someone to love again. I know you want her back, but the reality is, she wants a life without you. Link to post Share on other sites
Ssheena Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 She actually did the "right thing" by telling you that she wanted a break. So many people who have just cheated on you but she showed you the respect you deserve by breaking up with you instead of cheating on you. Hard to take but she doesn't want to be with you right now, no matter if you have a BMW or not. She was 14 when she met you...wouldn't you rather let her go to find herself than try and make her stay with you? Remember too, that when once person finally gets the courage to break with someone they have thought about it a LOT and it's usually not a spur of the moment decision. Stay away from her - better for you and for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 on my part....regarding a question u posted i have no probs with doing that ok i think you might find this helpful no fear from this side ok u"? Link to post Share on other sites
Author bimmerfan Posted October 30, 2006 Author Share Posted October 30, 2006 wow how uplifting. I don't really want another girlfriend or move on if love is finite. how depressing. some have told me shes just confused and wants to know what life is like with out me. I really don't understand women. anyway I could change her mind? thanks guys. bimmerfan Link to post Share on other sites
dr strangelove Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 Clingy chick..... Link to post Share on other sites
daphne Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 Bimmer, I know it feels like you'll never get over this girl, but you will. You're very young and she's your first love. It just hurts the most. In time you won't remember exactly why you loved her. Be glad that she broke up with you instead of disrespecting you with the other guy. Btw, capricorns are like cold water to a gemini female. Too bad she doesn't have enough experience to realize it. You've done the right thing by not begging. You really do need to stay away from her. Especially when she starts to realize she made a mistake. She may try to string you along if she realizes this guy isn't that great, just to make sure she has a backup plan. Don't be the backup plan. Stay busy for now and try to move forward. I know it sounds impossible, but you'll get through this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bimmerfan Posted October 31, 2006 Author Share Posted October 31, 2006 Thanks for your input. I spoke to her today over AIM, and I told her several times that she is cutting her nose to spite her face. I said to her that I still love her but I might not be around if it doesn't work with this guy. She says that this is what she wants. The truth is, I don't mind if she wants to come back but I won't readily accept her. She said to me that things changed and that shes not in love with me. I know that this guy (being a capricorn and her being a gemini) will not last. She even told me that she asked him out! The pain has really gone away but I just wonder if one day she'll realize that I was right, and attempt to contact me. Would/will this ever happen? Thanks for all your help folks. It really helps me alot. -bimmerfan Link to post Share on other sites
daphne Posted November 1, 2006 Share Posted November 1, 2006 Bimmer, I wouldn't bother trying to tell her she's making a mistake. It's a push and she's going to want to be with teh guy even more. Just try to avoid talking to her for at least 60 days. Let her live with her decision. She'll be back around but you need to heal and move on. By the time she figures it out, it's most likely you won't want her back when she could make such a goofy decision. She's young and a lot of young people don't realize that the grass isn't greener. She's probably happy with the newness of it but it always wears off. Just take care of yourself and know you'll get through this. And when you're ready, date others. Link to post Share on other sites
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