When the other woman was your best friend.

[stillhere]

How do I send a PM? I would like to send one to noforgivness.

 

I believe you have to post a certain number of times before you qualify........not sure what that number is though.

 

NF, how are you doing? I come back from work and see that a battle has broken out.

 

All OW's are not bad! I'm not here to attack anyone, as i know what i am doing is wrong. If ever you think i'm hurting more than helping, let me know.

 

Enjoy your vacation, i think you deserve it and need it!

[yousaveme]

I believe you have to post a certain number of times before you qualify........not sure what that number is though.

 

NF, how are you doing? I come back from work and see that a battle has broken out.

 

All OW's are not bad! I'm not here to attack anyone, as i know what i am doing is wrong. If ever you think i'm hurting more than helping, let me know.

 

Enjoy your vacation, i think you deserve it and need it!

 

 

I was really not trying to battle. But yes it did start again...Sorry

[stillhere]

Just remember what i told you, there's no point in arguing. It helps no one. I did see that you did try to restrain yourself and you were trying to help, although many will remember your earlier posts.

 

OW's will not be welcomed with open arms, we are hurting others, whether it is intentional or not. The BS know this hurt first hand. We need to have compassion. For the most part, treat the BS's with respect, and they will do the same. Not all, but most.

[noforgiveness]

stillhere you have been nothing but considerate and compassionate when you speak of your situation.

 

The outright blatant bragging by the other ow on here I find sickening.

 

Thank you. I plan on enjoying my vacation. I have never done anything like this before for myself only and for now I am going to pamper me and of course my kids.

[stillhere]

stillhere you have been nothing but considerate and compassionate when you speak of your situation.

 

The outright blatant bragging by the other ow on here I find sickening.

 

Thank you. I plan on enjoying my vacation. I have never done anything like this before for myself only and for now I am going to pamper me and of course my kids.

 

Thank you, although i know the pain i may eventually cause, i want nothing more than to help others.

 

Like i said, i don't expect those that are BS's to understand, but if they want some insight, i will do my best to show them my world, without trying to be hurtful.

 

I'm not proud of what i am doing. My parents did there best to raise someone with a good head on their shoulders. They would be extremely disappointed if they knew what was going on. I want more than anything to share the man i love with them, but i can't. I suffer in silence.

 

So, if i can help someone, BS or OW, then all my suffering may not be for nothing. I have a better understanding of myself, other OW's and BS's. So some day, something good may come of this, although i wish it hadn't been through this route.

 

 

Yes, have fun and try to relax. You have no control over what he will do when you are away. This is your test. I hope he passes with flying colors. If he does not, he will have lost a wonderful person. I hope that he realizes what he has, and does not cross that line again.

[yousaveme]

stillhere you have been nothing but considerate and compassionate when you speak of your situation.

 

The outright blatant bragging by the other ow on here I find sickening.

 

Thank you. I plan on enjoying my vacation. I have never done anything like this before for myself only and for now I am going to pamper me and of course my kids.

 

Since the both of you are willing to go to marriage counseling ...WHY are you waiting?

[noforgiveness]

Since the both of you are willing to go to marriage counseling ...WHY are you waiting?

 

 

we're not sure it is necessary. We're working through it. If it becomes necessary and we are not getting through this we will try it before giving up.

 

We've been married 18 years and have great communication. We spend hours and hours just talking. I needed to understand how this could have happened and I think i have finally started to do that and am actually feeling better and much more hopeful.

 

He's really worried about me going away without him and meeting someone. GOOD. It won't happen. I'm not like that but let him worry a little and think how he'd feel.

[Guest]

stillhere you have been nothing but considerate and compassionate when you speak of your situation.

 

The outright blatant bragging by the other ow on here I find sickening.

 

Thank you. I plan on enjoying my vacation. I have never done anything like this before for myself only and for now I am going to pamper me and of course my kids.

 

Are you going away w/your other man?

[yousaveme]

we're not sure it is necessary. We're working through it. If it becomes necessary and we are not getting through this we will try it before giving up.

 

We've been married 18 years and have great communication. We spend hours and hours just talking. I needed to understand how this could have happened and I think i have finally started to do that and am actually feeling better and much more hopeful.

 

He's really worried about me going away without him and meeting someone. GOOD. It won't happen. I'm not like that but let him worry a little and think how he'd feel.

 

 

Why wouldnt it be necessary? Even though you have 18 years and great communication. It happened.

[noforgiveness]

Why wouldnt it be necessary? Even though you have 18 years and great communication. It happened.

 

yes and why can't we figure out the why's on our own. This happened a few months ago and I still hurt. I hurt really bad when i posted this. There was a party I really wanted to go to for halloween but we opted out knowing she would be there.

 

I am angry he put me in this position. I am angry i don't have my bestfriend anymore. I worry she may call him or him her when he is not with me. He has been wonderful lately. He has begun to understand why she needs to be cut out of our life. That was the huge sticking point and that seems to have been cleared up.

 

He feels sorry for her still and I am beginning to also. That does not mean i don't still hate her and will never allow her back into our life. She lost her husband and now most of her friends. We had a huge group of mutual friends. They are not her friends anymore and it was not my doing. One of our friends asked her what was up with us that we don't talk anymore. They had asked me and I just said we had a falling out. Well she thinking they would feel sorry for her told them everything. I hope everything and i hope they didn't have sex.

 

Gossip spreads quick. This friend told her off and came rushing to my house hugging me crying. Then she told all our other CLOSE friends. Our friends rallied around me and that is how my vacation came about. I don't know what i would do if i lost my husband and all my friends but i guess she made her bed she has to sleep in it.

 

I don't think it's terrible he tells me he misses her. Hell i miss her too. I don't think it's terrible he feels sorry for her and worries about her. He is being HONEST with me. I don't want him to lie to me and say she doesn't matter. I don't think i'd want a man who would be that cold as not to care actually. I care but i will NEVER forgive her. I can have sympathy without forgiveness.

 

I was really feeling lost and i am better now. I feel like i understand he was needy. He has been beating himself up something terrible. I hate how my once proud self confident man puts himself down now for what he has done to us. I told him last night what a great husband and father he has been. We both miss our carefree life before this. I want that back but know it will never happen. I will never trust another wman again. Ever and I will always keep a better eye on my husband.

 

I will not keep him here for the kids. I've asked him to please leave if he's not happy. I love him. I want him happy. He insists he's happy and loves me. He misses someone who was a big part of both our lives for years though. I can see it in his eyes sometimes...

[Buttaflyy]

yes and why can't we figure out the why's on our own. This happened a few months ago and I still hurt. I hurt really bad when i posted this. There was a party I really wanted to go to for halloween but we opted out knowing she would be there.

 

I am angry he put me in this position. I am angry i don't have my bestfriend anymore. I worry she may call him or him her when he is not with me. He has been wonderful lately. He has begun to understand why she needs to be cut out of our life. That was the huge sticking point and that seems to have been cleared up.

 

He feels sorry for her still and I am beginning to also. That does not mean i don't still hate her and will never allow her back into our life. She lost her husband and now most of her friends. We had a huge group of mutual friends. They are not her friends anymore and it was not my doing. One of our friends asked her what was up with us that we don't talk anymore. They had asked me and I just said we had a falling out. Well she thinking they would feel sorry for her told them everything. I hope everything and i hope they didn't have sex.

 

Gossip spreads quick. This friend told her off and came rushing to my house hugging me crying. Then she told all our other CLOSE friends. Our friends rallied around me and that is how my vacation came about. I don't know what i would do if i lost my husband and all my friends but i guess she made her bed she has to sleep in it.

 

I don't think it's terrible he tells me he misses her. Hell i miss her too. I don't think it's terrible he feels sorry for her and worries about her. He is being HONEST with me. I don't want him to lie to me and say she doesn't matter. I don't think i'd want a man who would be that cold as not to care actually. I care but i will NEVER forgive her. I can have sympathy without forgiveness.

 

I was really feeling lost and i am better now. I feel like i understand he was needy. He has been beating himself up something terrible. I hate how my once proud self confident man puts himself down now for what he has done to us. I told him last night what a great husband and father he has been. We both miss our carefree life before this. I want that back but know it will never happen. I will never trust another wman again. Ever and I will always keep a better eye on my husband.

 

I will not keep him here for the kids. I've asked him to please leave if he's not happy. I love him. I want him happy. He insists he's happy and loves me. He misses someone who was a big part of both our lives for years though. I can see it in his eyes sometimes...

 

It sounds like you said he's concerned for her and sorry for her. She was obviously a mess to have gone where she did. He's seen first hand what she's been going through. Like you said, would you want a heartless careless man anyways? You guys both sound like very caring real people.

[noforgiveness]

It sounds like you said he's concerned for her and sorry for her. She was obviously a mess to have gone where she did. He's seen first hand what she's been going through. Like you said, would you want a heartless careless man anyways? You guys both sound like very caring real people.

 

thank you.

I find myself worrying about her and feeling sorry for her. That's as far as it will go though. There will be no forgiveness.

[AgentD]

I have closed this thread.

 

The subject at hand is a sensitive one, and we have warned members and guests to be thicker skinned in forum discussions such as these.

 

This has become a personal fight between a small group of people, and is no longer productive.

 

I ask that in the future, please refrain from bickering and respect other point of views.