almostthere Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 Ok...i am going to take another risk by posting about this and hopefully I dont get killed for it again... My bf's xw and her bf moved in together 2 weeks ago. This caused his 3 kids to switch schools. They are now living an hour and 20 minutes away from us. My bf got a call from the principal saying that his middle daughter (2nd grade) has only turned in 1 out 5 assignments since she started there. His oldest (3rd grade) is doing good. His youngest (1st grade) is doing good but his ex didnt provide a back pack or supplies and the teacher went out and bought it for him. Her and her new bf make about $140k a year plus what we give in child support every week there is no reason why these things are not covered by her. I am only mentioning her income to protect us from anyone saying it is expensive raising three kids. I know it is I have 5 now. But two that i have to provide for without child support. (yes I am working on it. State is taking forever with the order). Anyway, we are looking for ideas on how to help his kids. Custody is not an option although we are going to look into it. So far we dont have anything to prove neglect. This is where we are going to start... He is going to call the principal back tomorrow with our address (x didnt have it with her when she registered them for school). He is going to explain past problems at the old school with her. Then he is going to ask that anytime she is called we want to be called and updated. We are also asking that any letters sent home come to us along with report cards. What else can we do? We think thats a good start because he can call her on it every time he gets a call and we know what is going on. The kids really dont say much about their home life when we ask. they just say home and school are ok. Its so hard to care about children so much and have no say so from me. He does but i dont. I just make suggestions to him and then he talks to her. schooling is very important to me and i hate that she doesnt think so. I was hoping her moving in with her bf would offer the children more stability but nothing is changing. she isnt a real great mother and hasnt been forever. I am not just saying that. School used to call us all the time. Well my bf anyway. i dont know why i keep saying we and us. I guess maybe because i feel just as responsible for his children and i am for my own. We just hate watching them fall by the wayside. And as long as we cannot have custody right now we want to do our best with what we can. Any help or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
jletter Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 You say you don't have custody right now, but surely your boyfriend has some kind of visitation rights? Don't his kids stay with your bf for at least a couple weekends out of the month? That's the time when both you and your bf can impress upon the kids to start valuing education. I know it's hard, and it won't make a huge difference overnight, but the time that you guys are actually together under the same roof is the time when you can show them by positive influence how they should behave in school. This is probably all you can do until situations change -- but it's something. Link to post Share on other sites
Author almostthere Posted October 30, 2006 Author Share Posted October 30, 2006 Yes...we have them every weekend. the problem is is that child live what they learn. Their 19 yr brother was allowed to drop out of school and sit around and smoke pot and get drunk every day. this they have seen since their parents split. this brother is not my bf's son. he has no authroity over him. We tell them how important school is. I am going to college and they see me studying and trying. They hear me talk about how important school is and stuff. but all they say is school is stupid. College is a waste of time. we tell them differently of course. We have been working on them with this for a year. nothing is changing. she doesnt make them do their school work. Our lawyer said we dont have a strong enough case yet until we get enough calls from school or they become sick or something from neglect. basically he said our hands are tied for at least a year or two. so we are trying to make a difference now with them living with her. i just dont know how a parent can let their kids fall to the side just because they are in a new relationship. she has only been with this man for 4 months total. she acts like she is single. she didnt even take her oldest son with he for the move. she told him to go find somewhere else to live and then she left. he is living with friends now i guess. its just sad. Link to post Share on other sites
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