Is he cheating with his ex-girlfriend? I am in desperate need of

[lovefool525]

Here is my situation, I met my boyfriend Jon* back in 2002 and we weren't looking for a relationship, we were just messing around. He told me he had a girlfriend, but he didn't seem to care that he did, so neither did I. We continued to fool around, and he told me that he no longer had feelings for his gf and so he broke it off and started seeing me. About two mos. into the relationship I got pregnant. So, here I was thinking I was starting to get my life on the road, but to much dismay, he went back to his ex and stayed with her, leaving me in the cold. I went on with my life and was happy. I told myself that I would never go back to him because of the hurt he had caused.

Fast forward to January 2006, I received a late night phone call from some girl whose voice I hadn't recognized asking for me and if the phone number she had called was indeed mine(it was a voicemail message) and if it was my number she had called to call her back at a certain phone number. My sister(who lives with my parents) told me that there was a late night phone call that went to messaging asking for my phone number and saying that Jon wanted it to call me. Something didn't make sense. So I called Jon's mother asking her if she recognized the number the girl on the message had left me to call her at. Jon's mother had said it was Angel's* number, Jon's girlfriend the one he cheated on with me. I knew he was still with that girl, but this was getting freaky.

Angel and I are from the same town and she has the reputation of being a crazy b*tch and being manipulative and controlling.

So, the story has been unraveled to me by Jon's mother, he's been in this bad relationship with Angel for the past 3 years and that she is abusive(physically) and controlling. And to put the icing on the cake, Angel had gotten pregnant on purpose, God only knows why she did it.

Jon has finally left Angel and is now February, and is now talking with me. I figured I'd speak with him, he is my daughters father and that he's been through something traumatic and just offer a helping hand to ease his soul. I wanted only a platonic, friendly parent relationship for the sake of our daughter, but he wanted more and I gave it to him.

Now I am thinking this is a HUGE mistake.

This girl is insane, all summer she kept tabs on me, she checks out my profile, she calls at my boyfriends house, she sends him emails and she even shows up for visits so the baby can see Jon. Jon is really attached to this little girl too. We have had talks about Angel and what is like, he's told me scary stories about their relationship and I felt like I had nothing to worry about because what person in their right mind would want to go back to someone like her. Now I am feeling like she is trying to show Jon she has changed and try to entice him to go back to her.

I keep tabs on her too with her profile, and the journals she writes are so hard to read because I think that the trysts she writes about are about her and Jon. I have asked him what was going on with her, and he told me that the only thing is that he has a daughter with her, and that he's got to see his child.

I went home last weekend(I live 2hrs away to attend school, but live with Jon on the weekends), and was already suspicious and I checked the redial button on our phone and had found her number dialed on the phone, it broke my heart, but if I were to confront him, I know he'd just say that he was calling to check on his kid.

I am sorry if my story is all over the place, but I am distraught and do not know what to do.

He has changed since the first time we were together, and he told me he'd make up what we lost for a lifetime together.

I want to confront the bitch, but I don't know what good that will do, and I don't want to confront Jon because I have already done it twice!

Yes, I know I should find out and get out of the relationship for the sake of my daughter, but I only want my daughter to have what I had when I was growing up, my mom and dad together.

Life before him was great, I was happy living the single life, but having my daughter's father included in the scene is beneficial for my daughter.

We do have a great relationship, he's a provider and a good lover, but my suspicions and keeping tabs on Angels profile have me convinced that Jon is cheating on me with her.

WHAT DO I DO? I hate feeling this way.....

[wata]

The relationship started out with you being the "other woman". Why would you expect anything more? Pardon me being blunt, but you posted for advise, and you already know the answer to your question.

 

The real question you should ask yourself is...will being in a relationship with him enhance your daughter's life or will it show her how to be in an unhealthy relationship?

[Baybee9404]

Wata is 100% right The relationship did start out with you being the other woman. If he cheated on Angel with you why wouldnt he do the same. Once a cheater always a cheater when you let them get away with it. I feel that Angel wants you to feel what she felt when Jon cheated on her. Pay back is a b*tch. I know it is easier said than done but when you do come in contact with Angel face to face or on the phone. Kill her with kindness even if you dont want to and never stoop to her level and fight over a guy because that is what she wants and dont give it to her. Once Angel sees that you dont give a sh*t she will stop because she'll know it's not bothering you. Good Luck I know you will make the right decision

[lovefool525]

Thank you for your insight, and well, I think the best thing for me to do is confront him again and really find out what is going on, I think either way if he told me nothing is going on or if he is truthful with me and tells me that there is something going on, I will definitely leave him. Because even though he tells me that there may be nothing happening, I cannot live with his baggage and that crazy bitch constantly in my life. Again, thank you, it's always helpful to have someones neutral point of view.