loss of motivation

[Crystal]

i wonder where all my motivation went too? i use to feel motivated to work, exercise, have fun, and spend time doing things i enjoy.

 

i am not depressed, though it may sound like i am, i just dont have any motivation anymore to work or to go to school.

 

a couple years ago when i was very ill my fiance took care of everything for me and i think that started the ball rolling and now i seem very complacent (not sure that is the right word) to sit at home on this stupid dumb ole computer day in and day out, or even without it.

 

i am addicted to it i think and i do alot of medical research on it for my current health problems. i didnt want him to buy this darned ole thing either, i asked him not to but he said he needed it for business.

 

what i really want to do with it is throw it through the window or trash it like i did my old one so that i would not be so tied to it, but this is his computer and i cant do that.

 

i do work part time but he wants me to look for something more steady with more hours. i am willing to do that but i just cant seem to find any motivation to WANT to do that.

 

i am not a lazy person, but then again maybe i have become lazy, i really dont know.

 

i just dont know what to do, i feel so trapped in my life, so bored and empty and i am 45 and feel like i dont even know what i want to do with my life career wise.

 

i'm not getting any younger and here i sit with all this emotional baggage on my back unable to make a life for myself because i dont know what to do with it.

 

i've looked at some aptitude tests on-line and took some but seen several job types and nothing seems to appeal to me.

 

i had started school at one time but could not comprehend anything but now i am not even interested in that subject anymore.

 

i dont feel depressed, i laugh, joke around with my kids, my grandkids, etc, we go out on the weekends and once or so during the week and i still enjoy doing something but just dont do them either really.

 

like yard sales, i use to love them but now i drive right by them, i just dont feel any zest for anything anymore, and i dont know where it went or how or why it happened this way.

 

sometimes i feel if i left i would be forced to do something with my life, like work full time cause i would have to then support myself.

 

sometimes i want to leave and see if i can take care of myself like i should be able to do but when i think about it this voice inside my head tells me if i cant do it living with someone, how the hell can i do it on my own?

 

maybe i've just gotten lazy..................

[Crystal]

i wonder where all my motivation went too? i use to feel motivated to work, exercise, have fun, and spend time doing things i enjoy. i am not depressed, though it may sound like i am, i just dont have any motivation anymore to work or to go to school. a couple years ago when i was very ill my fiance took care of everything for me and i think that started the ball rolling and now i seem very complacent (not sure that is the right word) to sit at home on this stupid dumb ole computer day in and day out, or even without it. i am addicted to it i think and i do alot of medical research on it for my current health problems. i didnt want him to buy this darned ole thing either, i asked him not to but he said he needed it for business. what i really want to do with it is throw it through the window or trash it like i did my old one so that i would not be so tied to it, but this is his computer and i cant do that. i do work part time but he wants me to look for something more steady with more hours. i am willing to do that but i just cant seem to find any motivation to WANT to do that. i am not a lazy person, but then again maybe i have become lazy, i really dont know. i just dont know what to do, i feel so trapped in my life, so bored and empty and i am 45 and feel like i dont even know what i want to do with my life career wise. i'm not getting any younger and here i sit with all this emotional baggage on my back unable to make a life for myself because i dont know what to do with it. i've looked at some aptitude tests on-line and took some but seen several job types and nothing seems to appeal to me. i had started school at one time but could not comprehend anything but now i am not even interested in that subject anymore. i dont feel depressed, i laugh, joke around with my kids, my grandkids, etc, we go out on the weekends and once or so during the week and i still enjoy doing something but just dont do them either really. like yard sales, i use to love them but now i drive right by them, i just dont feel any zest for anything anymore, and i dont know where it went or how or why it happened this way. sometimes i feel if i left i would be forced to do something with my life, like work full time cause i would have to then support myself. sometimes i want to leave and see if i can take care of myself like i should be able to do but when i think about it this voice inside my head tells me if i cant do it living with someone, how the hell can i do it on my own? maybe i've just gotten lazy..................

[quankanne]

I've read the post further below about how you're having problems taking interest in life, and some of the suggestions. Angel has a good point -- changes in your body chemistry can do a number on you. If you can, line up an appointment with your gynecologist for an exam and ask if hormonal changes might be causing some of the problems you're having.

 

Also, although I don't specifically recall your medical problems, I suspect that because your body is is directing its energy to battle that disease or medical problem, the result is depression. A couple of examples? My mom is a bad diabetic, and her problems have gotten progressively worse in the 20 years since she's been diagnosed. Mostly, she has problems with kidney and lung infections, so she's either sick or trying to recover from being sick, it happens so often. So, her emotional state is tied into the physical state of her body.

 

My husband hurt his back about 16 months ago, and (to leave out the problems we've encountered with his employer & health insurance), he's only able to receive pain management from the VA Clinic. He suffers from depression and anxiety because of the physical and financial problems stemming from his back injury, but it took a good while for a doctor to point out that while there can be an innate problem with depression for some, others experience depression because their body is fighting so hard to heal itself physically that it isn't able to cope as well emotionally (like the energy is being diverted away or something).

 

Anyhow, in both cases, their physical conditions have triggered emotional depression, but they were fortunate enough to have doctors who noticed.

 

the upshot of it all? Go see your doctor, NOW! It could be the best thing you've done for yourself.

[MercyRose]

You could take a few courses to see what you like doing. Maybe you need something fresh and new.

 

When I was in doubt about my career I took tests and everything, even asked an astrolger to do my birth chart )

 

He said I should be doing something creative, and that I thought I didn't want to work but that I thrive on it. He is right.

 

I sometimes think I don't want to do anything, yet when I have nothing to do I remember that I feel much more energetic when i have too much to do.

 

So after the tests and the astrolger, I grouped my results with what I love and how I wanted to spend my life. I will only give you my example so you can try a different approach, its not meant to be taken literally. Think of it as a case study )

 

Here it goes:

 

1. I love my computer, I could be on it all day.

 

2. I hate routine, want to come and go as I please, work at 10am or 10pm. Go for a holiday at a days notice.

 

3. I have to work in an air conditioned environmemnt ( I live in a hot country) )

 

4. I'd like to work at home.

 

5. I love creating

 

solution:

 

Web designer

 

How to accomplish solution:

 

Study-again

 

p.s Its great being a student )) You will have to battle with lack of motivation on and off, but, when I look back at how my life used to be, its alot better than what it used to be.

 

I hope this helps you somehow ))

 

p.s Being a student second time around is alot more fun

[MercyRose]

Hmm, We don't actually have to go into college )Apparently nobody can make us. However we end up going socoalize. We sit in the caferteria drinking coffee, eating snacks and basically chatting. And do the work at home ))

 

Funny how you want to go more often when you don't have to ) I only don't bother going to college when i am near the deadline.

 

Design is not work...its concept ) and all you do is sit around to do that )) And once you learn afew software programs you have the skills to manifest your imagination, in afew days.

 

And when i had a summer job, it was pretty much the same except I had to go to work almost on time )))

 

And when i finish, I will be freelance. And i will trade my scottish teddy slippers for bunnies cos they sound cuter and sit at home thinking of concepts and drinking coffee with my feet up, then work afew days )))

[Crystal]

you know i just found this post and it is quite the coinsidence because i did call my dr. today about going back on an anti-depressant, celexa preferrably.

 

i have hypothyroid, hypoglycemia, menopause and tinnitus, not to mention the anxiety i get from it all!

 

so i have decided that it is time to get back on something..depression can be quite common with the hypothyroid and that is pretty much under control now, but the menopause is still in the works of trying differnet estrogen patches for one that works and i think i finally found one now...

 

with all that going on i am finding it so hard to cope with things as they come up, my stress level is sky high...my blood pressure was up a couple weeks ago to but has come down and basically i feel like an emotional and physical wreck.

 

thanks for the advice i appreciate your kindness very much!

I've read the post further below about how you're having problems taking interest in life, and some of the suggestions. Angel has a good point -- changes in your body chemistry can do a number on you. If you can, line up an appointment with your gynecologist for an exam and ask if hormonal changes might be causing some of the problems you're having. Also, although I don't specifically recall your medical problems, I suspect that because your body is is directing its energy to battle that disease or medical problem, the result is depression. A couple of examples? My mom is a bad diabetic, and her problems have gotten progressively worse in the 20 years since she's been diagnosed. Mostly, she has problems with kidney and lung infections, so she's either sick or trying to recover from being sick, it happens so often. So, her emotional state is tied into the physical state of her body. My husband hurt his back about 16 months ago, and (to leave out the problems we've encountered with his employer & health insurance), he's only able to receive pain management from the VA Clinic. He suffers from depression and anxiety because of the physical and financial problems stemming from his back injury, but it took a good while for a doctor to point out that while there can be an innate problem with depression for some, others experience depression because their body is fighting so hard to heal itself physically that it isn't able to cope as well emotionally (like the energy is being diverted away or something).

 

Anyhow, in both cases, their physical conditions have triggered emotional depression, but they were fortunate enough to have doctors who noticed.

 

the upshot of it all? Go see your doctor, NOW! It could be the best thing you've done for yourself.

[Tony T]

The more you try to deny you make multiple or "false" posts (whatever that is), the more people are going to get on your case. Just don't answer these and you'll find they will disappear.

 

You do not have to defend yourself before a gang of forever anonymous people you will never meet or interact with. When you do so you take the focus off the work you should be doing on yourself.

 

I guess more than anything I get irritated by your constant need to defend yourself against conduct you deny. It's time to GROW UP and conduct yourself as an adult. If you did not get the proper parenting at home when you were young, we cannot provide that here. Find a mentor in your town and learn life's ropes.

 

Work on yourself and PLEASE STOP denying things that you haven't done. Do you really think anybody cares one way or the other?

 

Life does not change one bit no matter what is posted here...unless I, you, or anybody else allows it to. Stop letting everything get to you so much. That's a sign of a real bad problem.

 

And I agree with one of the posters above. Your psychologist or psychiatrist may be managing your medication but he/she is not properly addressing your other concerns or you wouldn't have to bring all these questions up here so often. Find an new doctor and listen to him.

[Crystal]

well i got ahold of someone at this minirth meier institute and i qualify for their sliding fee scale so next week i have an appt. with them..

 

until then i will stay away from here, i guess that is a good place to start.

 

i really wish my fiancee would just get rid of this stupid computer but he wont, he says he needs it for business but the only thing he uses it for is football junk.

 

the reason i defend myself is because i dont like people saying things about me that are not true.

 

i have been acussed of using different names many times, some were true some were not, yet these same people go on to do it themselves, do you know how frustrating that is.

 

i know i will never meet anyone on this board and should not care one way or another what they say or think, yet i do, if that is some kind of psychosis then i guess i have a major one but to me most people defend themselves when they are falsely acussed.

 

so maybe i will come back later with a progress report or a totally different problem that i really need advice on, but until then i am leaving and i thank you all for your help, even those that i feel were unjustly unfair to me.

 

maybe one day i will see what they were all talking about...i'm sure i will be back just to read and lurk but i wont post anything for a while and i dont mean that in any bad way, you are right it is time to move on, i guess daisy is right too though it pains me to say that.

 

not all of what she said is true, i do not like being this way, i do not choose to be with way, i do not look for pity or sympathy either, but she can have those opinions of me is she chooses as long as i know they are not true, but nonetheless some of what everybody says is true so i will take that and use it as best i can.

 

thank you for all your help and your prayer...Crystal

The more you try to deny you make multiple or "false" posts (whatever that is), the more people are going to get on your case. Just don't answer these and you'll find they will disappear. You do not have to defend yourself before a gang of forever anonymous people you will never meet or interact with. When you do so you take the focus off the work you should be doing on yourself. I guess more than anything I get irritated by your constant need to defend yourself against conduct you deny. It's time to GROW UP and conduct yourself as an adult. If you did not get the proper parenting at home when you were young, we cannot provide that here. Find a mentor in your town and learn life's ropes. Work on yourself and PLEASE STOP denying things that you haven't done. Do you really think anybody cares one way or the other? Life does not change one bit no matter what is posted here...unless I, you, or anybody else allows it to. Stop letting everything get to you so much. That's a sign of a real bad problem.

 

And I agree with one of the posters above. Your psychologist or psychiatrist may be managing your medication but he/she is not properly addressing your other concerns or you wouldn't have to bring all these questions up here so often. Find an new doctor and listen to him.