NotKelly Posted November 1, 2006 Share Posted November 1, 2006 Did your parents divorce or separate when you were past your teens? Mine did. And I think it had a lot to do with the lousy relationship I lost myself in for years... Actually, this thread is mis-titled. My parents didn't even have the courtesy to divorce. No, they've been simply living apart and not speaking for 16 years. I don't even know what to tell people about it. The truth is, I continue to be extremely ashamed of their behavior and the way they treat each other. Sorry if I sound vindictive, but I never get to talk about this to anybody. It's like this terrible secret in my life that I don't want to reveal to anyone I meet - that my parents treat each other in this shoddy way and aren't even divorced. Why am I so ashamed of them?? Why do I feel like a "normal" person would reject me if they knew what my family is like? Why do I think I would feel better if only they would get divorced, instead of this endless hostility where I am trapped in the middle? Why are they doing this to me and my sister? Why can't they be like other normal people and just get divorced if they don't want a family? Link to post Share on other sites
crazy_grl Posted November 1, 2006 Share Posted November 1, 2006 Nothing you said is anything you should be ashamed of. It's your parents decision whether or not to get divorced, and if anyone is judging you based on what your parents decided for themselves, they have much more to be ashamed of than you do. I think your biggest problem here is that you think this is a bigger deal than it is. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted November 1, 2006 Share Posted November 1, 2006 I'm 29 and my parents got divorced about a year ago. I wasn't really all that surprised though. There wasn't a lot of vindictive game-playing during the divorce, at least as far as I know. I ended up spending both Thanksgiving and Christmas of last year with my mom out of a sense of guilt and obligation, much to my dad's disappointment, at least as far as Christmas goes. I'm not looking forward to having to choose between them again this year (they live too far apart now to be able to see both within a weekend). As for your situation, I agree with crazy_grl. Bitterness as a result of divorce or separation is par for the course and isn't a reflection on you. Besides, what family isn't screwed up in one way or another? Link to post Share on other sites
crazy_grl Posted November 1, 2006 Share Posted November 1, 2006 Besides, what family isn't screwed up in one way or another? Isn't that the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
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