The whole 'asking out' situation

[JohnM]

I've been without an internet connection since moving flats and doing this on public computers makes me a little paranoid people can read my screen >.<

 

Soooo, I'm still under the tag of 'complete everything virgin'. I've gotten to know a few girls now and would like to ask one out, I just don't know how to really go about doing it, I'm pretty sure she likes me and all but I don't know what to say to kick start things as it were and let her know how I really feel.

 

All I can think to say is 'Hey, would you like to go out some time?' But that seems a bit rubbish.

 

Once again I return for some tip a mundos, any help appreciated my multinamed advisory committee.

 

Thanking Yee In Advance

JohnM

[alphamale]

All I can think to say is 'Hey, would you like to go out some time?' But that seems a bit rubbish.

Don't ask....tell. You need to tell her she's going out with you and then wait for her yes or no. Women like "take charge" men... And if you're gonna get a "no" either way its better to look like you're a real man. An example exchange would go like this:

 

Girl-X: Oh hi JohnM

JohnM: Waz up Girl-X??

Girl-X: Just been chillin' with the weasel...

JohnM: WTF?

Girl-X: I've just been hanging out silly!

JohnM: Well...I want you to hang out with me Sat nite, dinner, 8pm

Gilr-X: Wow! You're so decisive! I love take charge guys!

JohnM: I'll pick you up, I have reservations at a nice place for us

Girl-X: OK, I'll wear something sexy...

JOhnM: Great, and skip the underwear too!

[JohnM]

Haha, that was pretty good. Doesn't sound like my girl in that conversation I can't be that forward though, thats not really me. I don't want to change my personality to pick someone up. I just want a good way of saying this without sounding cocky, which is how that would make me sound.

 

Maybe it could go like this:

 

John: So what are you doing Saturday night?

GirlX: Nothing, probably staying in.

John: Would you like to go out then, for dinner, lets say 8pm?

GirlX: Sure, why not.

 

- I wonder if things could actually go this smoothly...

[Buttaflyy]

Don't ask....tell. You need to tell her she's going out with you and then wait for her yes or no. Women like "take charge" men... And if you're gonna get a "no" either way its better to look like you're a real man. An example exchange would go like this:

 

Girl-X: Oh hi JohnM

JohnM: Waz up Girl-X??

Girl-X: Just been chillin' with the weasel...

JohnM: WTF?

Girl-X: I've just been hanging out silly!

JohnM: Well...I want you to hang out with me Sat nite, dinner, 8pm

Gilr-X: Wow! You're so decisive! I love take charge guys!

JohnM: I'll pick you up, I have reservations at a nice place for us

Girl-X: OK, I'll wear something sexy...

JOhnM: Great, and skip the underwear too!

 

Ummmm...No, don't say this exactly.

 

Just get straight to the point and ask her out on a specific day. Be sure to be specific or else it isn't a date planned. Ask her if she has any plans say, saturday and when she says no ask her out. Maybe you two can discuss where you'd like to go then.

[Buttaflyy]

Haha, that was pretty good. Doesn't sound like my girl in that conversation I can't be that forward though, thats not really me. I don't want to change my personality to pick someone up. I just want a good way of saying this without sounding cocky, which is how that would make me sound.

 

Maybe it could go like this:

 

John: So what are you doing Saturday night?

GirlX: Nothing, probably staying in.

John: Would you like to go out then, for dinner, lets say 8pm?

GirlX: Sure, why not.

 

- I wonder if things could actually go this smoothly...

 

You've got it!

[JohnM]

Hmm seems good I suppose, I just don't know what I'm doing here is all. I suppose everyone had this the first time they did this sort of thing?

 

Maybe tomorrow would be a good time to ask. After our lecture and before I go out filming.

[dgiirl]

Dont be vague in your question. Be specific.

 

Asking her "Do you want to go out for coffee (or dinner)?" is better than asking "Do you want to go out some time?".

 

But asking her "Hey, there's SawIII playing in the movies, do you want to come with me on Friday night?" is even better.

 

I think asking someone out is similar to asking your friends out. The more details you give, the better responses you'll get.

[alphamale]

ok JOHNM....listen to the girlies advice and not mine. of course, the girlies have mucho experience in asking out girls for dates...

[JohnM]

Hmm, I'd prefer going to a movie really. Maybe I'll look up whats going on. Doesn't seem as easy to say as dinner though

 

'What are you doing Friday night? I was going to go see Borat if you want to to come with me.' I think that sounds alrighty.

 

Would Borat be too strange a film to go see for a date?

[blind_otter]

I hate vague ask-outs.

 

Whenever any man has said "do you want to go out sometime" I always say "Yes, I go out a lot. Pretty much every day."

 

dg is right, be specific.

 

Normally you talk, and mention something that you find interesting hoping that she will, as well. Then you segway into "well since you like doing x or want to see movie y, why don't we do x or see y this weekend?"

 

That sort of thing.

[JohnM]

I know you know your stuff Alpha but I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it the way you suggested.

 

I appreciate your advice though, don't get me wrong.

[Pyro]

I've been without an internet connection since moving flats and doing this on public computers makes me a little paranoid people can read my screen >.<

 

Soooo, I'm still under the tag of 'complete everything virgin'. I've gotten to know a few girls now and would like to ask one out, I just don't know how to really go about doing it, I'm pretty sure she likes me and all but I don't know what to say to kick start things as it were and let her know how I really feel.

 

All I can think to say is 'Hey, would you like to go out some time?' But that seems a bit rubbish.

 

Once again I return for some tip a mundos, any help appreciated my multinamed advisory committee.

 

Thanking Yee In Advance

JohnM

 

Have a set plan and day.

 

Tell her, "hey I was going to go see this movie on Friday, would you like to join me?"

 

Or just ask her if she wants to go see a movie this Friday.

 

I would say as long as you have a set day and plan, then things should be ok.

[dgiirl]

ok JOHNM....listen to the girlies advice and not mine. of course, the girlies have mucho experience in asking out girls for dates...

 

perhaps, but i also know what I would say yes and no too

 

When a guy starts being all formal "May I request your presense to accompany me to the Ball?", I'd be like "WTF, dude?" lol

 

But I love to go to movies, or dinner, so if a guy said, hey lets go out to dinner, or i really want to see xyz, want to come?, it's a really casual way and takes my gaurd down to saying yes.

[alphamale]

Normally you talk, and mention something that you find interesting hoping that she will, as well. Then you segway into "well since you like doing x or want to see movie y, why don't we do x or see y this weekend?".

Yeah b_0....I get this from women all the time. You'll be talking and she'll mention some art exhibit in town or some new restaruant or bar or whatnot. If I'm interested I take the bait, if I'm not then I don't.

 

Like for example. I met this chick at a singles dinner I hosted 2 weeks ago. This sorta heavy chick was digging on me, asking questions about me, what my name means, etc....pretty generic stuff. I knew she was into me. The next day I got and email from her and she's asking me that she has 3 extra tickets to some nerdy concert in Dec and she's looking for people to go with her. I referred her to the president of the group and that was it. It was obviously her invite for me to be one of the three. Well, If she loses 30lbs she can get back with me.

[alphamale]

it's a really casual way and takes my gaurd down to saying yes.

I thought that was dinner at Applebee's and four glasses of cheap red wine

[monkey00]

IMO you should scrap the movie idea. movies are the worst for first dates, if you think about it you're both strangers sitting next to one another.

 

Great first dates are either coffee and/or dinner.

 

Do a little fluff talk...

you: by the way, i know this great little coffee shop/restuarant down on XX street. If you're free on X day around X time, lets get together.

her: I'd love to with a cherry on top.... (puke)

you: Great, let me get your #.

 

If she's busy and counter offers, you're set. If she's just busy try again next time.

[dgiirl]

I thought that was dinner at Applebee's and four glasses of cheap red wine

 

alpha you promised to keep that just between the two of us

[JohnM]

I think I'll stick with the film idea, I know her well enough for it to not be awkward.

 

I'm sure Borat will be able to break any silence

[JohnM]

Well, the production group the girl works in left before I got to my lecture, I decided to get her number from one of her friends and text her since I wouldn't see her again until Monday. It went like this in the end:

 

Me: Are you busy tomorrow night?

Her: No dont think so why?

Me: Its just I was going to go see the borat film, if you wanna come with me. I was going to ask in P.P. But you group had already left.

Her: Yeah course. Who else is coming?

Me: Just moi.

*No response

Me: Is that okay with you?

Her: Oh. I didn't realise you meant like that. Erm am not really lookin to get into anything like that at the moment. Hope thats ok. Hows your production going? XxX

Me: Thats alright, production is good *cue unrelated info

 

I feel a bit down now, as I bought a pair of tickets in advance and all. But I'll go with a friend instead. Do you think this is just her saying shes not looking for this type of thing atm, or a nice way of saying no?

 

Well, I suppose this is a first time try and first time rejection maybe my next attempt will be a success

[alphamale]

i told you not to listen to the chicks JOHNM

[Pyro]

Well, the production group the girl works in left before I got to my lecture, I decided to get her number from one of her friends and text her since I wouldn't see her again until Monday. It went like this in the end:

 

Me: Are you busy tomorrow night?

Her: No dont think so why?

Me: Its just I was going to go see the borat film, if you wanna come with me. I was going to ask in P.P. But you group had already left.

Her: Yeah course. Who else is coming?

Me: Just moi.

*No response

Me: Is that okay with you?

Her: Oh. I didn't realise you meant like that. Erm am not really lookin to get into anything like that at the moment. Hope thats ok. Hows your production going? XxX

Me: Thats alright, production is good *cue unrelated info

 

I feel a bit down now, as I bought a pair of tickets in advance and all. But I'll go with a friend instead. Do you think this is just her saying shes not looking for this type of thing atm, or a nice way of saying no?

 

Well, I suppose this is a first time try and first time rejection maybe my next attempt will be a success

 

Sorry it worked out like that John. You gave it your best shot. You can't expect them all to say yes. Better luck next time.

[JohnM]

I don't see how changing the way I asked would have altered the outcome. I asked her the way I would find polite and don't see how the other way would have been any better. I'd rather find someone who doesn't care about how its phrased but about the person whos making the proposal.

[monkey00]

I feel a bit down now, as I bought a pair of tickets in advance and all. But I'll go with a friend instead. Do you think this is just her saying shes not looking for this type of thing atm, or a nice way of saying no?

 

Well, I suppose this is a first time try and first time rejection maybe my next attempt will be a success

 

Wow you blew it. Your date opener might have worked if it was a different time and place.

 

But regardless, never ask a girl out through text unless you're already seeing her. Be a man and do it on the phone or in person.

 

Movies are too soon for any kind of first date, no matter how well you think you know her:

A) it's dark

B) you're sitting next to her

 

Next time get to know them through dinner/cofee...1on1 movies is coming on too strong too soon

[JohnM]

Well I would have asked her in person had I got the chance. I don't see what the big deal is with seeing a film.

[Pyro]

Wow you blew it. Your date opener might have worked if it was a different time and place.

 

But regardless, never ask a girl out through text unless you're already seeing her. Be a man and do it on the phone or in person.

 

Movies are too soon for any kind of first date, no matter how well you think you know her:

A) it's dark

B) you're sitting next to her

 

Next time get to know them through dinner/cofee...1on1 movies is coming on too strong too soon

 

I feel silly. I missed the part about the whole conversation being through text.

 

You should have asked her in person, or at the least, over the phone. By texting, it sort of shows you lack confidence, not saying that you do, but to her.