Jealousy/Online website

[troubador333]

ok so this is probably really dumb and I am probably way to old to feel like this, and I think it is just my own issue with insecurity & jealousy. however I need to get it off my chest somewhere. Personally i think myspace is lame for a vaierty of reasons, but I was on it previously from when I was single, and going out a lot, still in that phase. a bunch of friends on there and so on, helped to keep in touch/was something to pass the time at work. However, now i feel like we am getting to old for it, it is childish, and just full of shameless self-promotion. I have been with my bf for 4 years now and we are both on it. recently it has started to bother me when I look at his profile on there and see how 'into it' he still is. He has like 330 'friends' on there, of course maybe of which a handful are really his friends. Many many are attractive woman, whether local, models, porn stars or whatever. Some are chics I know and/or have heard of, but a lot arent. He updates his profile incessantly, and keeps it public. I suppose I am just jealous, but I think its lame he has the need to feed his own ego by maintaining a myspace 'harem' of sorts. Especially as we are not in highscool anymore, and he is not available. Then, he uses the site in my opinion, to 'flirt' with these girls by giving them stupid comments on their myspace pages, or giving them a happy birthday or whatver. Why? What is the point? It really bothers me. I have no urge to do this sort of thing, I feel like he does it just to satisfy his ego or something, or get attention over the internet. I mean I can understand using it to keep track of a group of close friends, but then again, if they are close friend, why do you need myspace to keep in touch?

[norajane]

I feel like he does it just to satisfy his ego or something, or get attention

 

Yes, this is exactly why he does it. You may be over the myspace thing, but he is getting his ego stroked by "models and porn stars" all the time and is loving it.

[Mythical]

Yes, this is exactly why he does it. You may be over the myspace thing, but he is getting his ego stroked by "models and porn stars" all the time and is loving it.

 

 

I totally agree its deffiently a confidance boost for him as sad as it truely is.

He gets attention from all these girls and gives it to them.

 

Would he think it was respectful if you were chatting and showing your pics to a bunch of meat head hot guys?

[troubador333]

thanks I am at least comforted by the fact that someone can see my side of the issue. i am not going to force him to delete the profile or anything however, and dont know how to deal with it. maybe it is something he will grow out of. still pisses me off though.

[buu]

Personally i think myspace is lame for a vaierty of reasons,

 

However, now i feel like we am getting to old for it, it is childish, and just full of shameless self-promotion.

hmmm. I must disagree with youbecause you initally think that something that he like to do is Lame. Therefore you will not even give it a chance. it would be a diffrent situation if he was meeting with the ppl and doing things without telling you.

Just because it is something you don't like dones not mean he must not like it too.

[Adunaphel]

I think myspace can be truly addictive - like it happens in other sites (like deviantart, just to name one), some people will get into a tricky "commenting and commented" downyard spiral.

The only difference is that on MySpace you can also get in touch with a variety of hot show-offs and flirt with them.

Quite an ego boost: attractive, or seemingly attractive ( )people paying you attention, not exactly what you are used to in real life.

 

I feel for you. I'd talk to him about it. Let's hope he will understand and realize that not causing issues in your actual relationship is more important that some fake attention.

[spinningmywheels]

troubador333, you are not alone. My boyfriend does something very similar though he's not a myspace whore or anything that extreme.

 

Mostly it just felt like he was leaving me out of a big part of his life, a part he is putting a lot of energy/attention in.

 

I don't do Myspace, I think it's lame and stupid and a lot of other negative things too -- I get why some people love it, but when your sig other is more interested in that than growing up, it's not fun. He's also so into Youtube -- he makes me feel like I'm 80 yrs old!! Again, it's a site where i can see why people think it's cool, but after 60 seconds i'm bored. I'd rather us be planning a future....

 

Things have been better in recent weeks b/c i hit my limit and made it clear some things have got to change or i'm gone (we have other issues, see my post in the LDR forums if interested).

 

I admit, i check his page frequently (I'm not proud of it, just being honest) - my opinion about the whole thing isn't going to change, but my issues with it have gotten better. A lot of talking, and also, occasionally, i ask him to show me his account and he does. He's also gotten a lot better about telling me when those old "friends" (particularly the women) contact him and he puts them on his page....

 

I don't know if he'll get over the whole using it to get attention thing - I wish I could get him to understand that he doesn't need/have to be the "popular" guy anymore, he can just be him. I don't think it's right to force him or ask him to take down the profile (right now anyway, if we get married i might talk to him about it). But I definitely think making sure you let him know that you want to be aware/involved in that part of his life - maybe it would help?