after 9 months of NC, Ex called last nite

[Guest]

Hey all

So I got a call last nite on halloween from my ex(who after she broke up with me, I initiated NC). Who i was with for about a year and a half and broke up with me because she "loved me but wasnt in love with me". So I get a wierd number on my fone and pick up hoping its a friend, but it was her. She kinda stood quiet until she finally said her name. We had a nice little talk about how we were doing in our lives and how our families were and so on.

 

She said she called since it was halloween(we became official on halloween 2 yrs ago) and wanted to reminice..I thought that was pretty odd of her to say such a thing. She asked me what I was doing twice, first i ignored it, second time she asked I told her I was going out with some girl friends of mine to a club, which was true. Im not really sure she wanted to hang out but I was assuming since she asked me more than once, and im not really ready to see her yet. So I just told her my life is going great and I planned to keep it that way, pretty much gave her the cold shoulder. After about 10 mins of talkin I said my goodbyes and hung up.

 

After that call though, i felt terrible...I really dont know what it was. My stomach started hurting, but that call really brought back a lot of feelings and im somewhat hurting at the moment. I guess a part of me still loves her, and I wont lie it was good to hear her again. I still dont think id be able to see her in person though...I just want to know what I should do or say if she calls again....She called from a new fone so im assuming she must of wanted something out of me if she went through the trouble of gettin my number from her last fone..but I dunno, mayb I just think too much. Well any input on if i should keep NC or ways to recover after a call from the past would be greatly appreciated...thanks

[D-Lish]

Your just getting over it and she calls out of the blue like that?

That sucks.

 

Would you get back with her?

 

It's a tough call. She may have been scared off by your reaction, and decide not to contact you again.

But she may have only been calling out of lonliness. Which is not what you want.

 

Outta the blue like that eh?

That must have freaked you out.

It will probably drive you crazy until you figure out what she wanted.

Could you do NC? ARe you thinking of calling?

What do your friends say that know her?

 

Tough situation.

D

[tdmce]

You were doing well with the no contact, keep doing it! This is going to drive you nuts, remind yourself of the bad things and why you guys broke up in the first place and keep yourself busy.

 

A lot of ex's try and come back and often it isn't for the right reasons.

 

It is up to you, but I can only see you getting hurt again.

[bimmerfan]

You are a total inspiration of hope to my life. My girlfriend also broke up with me about a couple weeks ago, and I have finally decided to initiate NC. It was the first relationship for the both of us, and she told me she likes this other guy (I think she really just wants to experiment though). But for your ex to call you after 9 months obviously has to mean something! Think about it, she's remembering to call you.

Good luck man, make it work I know you guys can get back together.

[gfto]

After that call though, i felt terrible.

No! You should be extremely proud of yourself. I don't think you appreciate how brilliantly you handled this! When she asked what you were up to, you told her you were going out with a bunch of girls, and YOU ended the call! Outstanding work. You should do the same thing every time she calls. Because, you have to remember that she still has the low interest level in you that caused her to dump you to begin with. Who knows why she called. She was probably just bored and wanted to see if you'd ask her out, just to stroke her ego. It doesn't matter though. When she calls again, say, "hey, it's great to hear from you. My date's almost finished making dinner, so I can't talk right now. Give me a call sometime." Then hang up.

[Rooster_DAR]

Hey all

So I got a call last nite on halloween from my ex(who after she broke up with me, I initiated NC). Who i was with for about a year and a half and broke up with me because she "loved me but wasnt in love with me".

 

I am going through the exact same thing right now, my ex said the same words you stated above as well. She just sent me an early birthday card saying she's sorry, she misses me terribly, and she loves me. I have done the N/C for about 3 months until this incident and I admit, it kind of catches you off guard and brings back some feeling.

 

I am doing my best to just keep moving on, and I am going to make sure that I continue to stay away from hope and move on with myself. If something transpires, It will have to but at the utmost effort on her end not mine.

 

Cheers!