girlfriends flirting wit co-worker

[mose]

My girlfriend and I have been living together for just over 1 year. She is 10 years younger than me (late twenties). We met (through work) while I was still married although I was in the process of legal separation form my then wife.

 

It started as a long-distance relationship as we lived on opposite sides of the Atlantic. However just over a year ago she moved to Europe to be with me. Things had been going really well until recently.

 

First a little history: Before we met we had both slept around and had many short term relationships and one night stands. We both like to flirt a little, but only for fun. I'm not sure why I've included this as it may not be relevant.

 

Recently I have noticed a change in her attitude towards me. She doesn't seem as close as before, she's been quite short tempered and our sex life has taken a down turn, as far as quantity goes. She has also been flirting outrageously with a male co-worker. Not the normal fun flirtation, which we both enjoy. This flirtation seems much more serious. We work in the same building and I regularly pass through the open office in which they both work. I have noticed the body language, flirtatious giggling and looks that had first got us together. But this time it's directed towards the other guy.

 

Her best friend is a big influence on her with regard to all relationship and sexual matters. I think it is also important to note that her friend is an "escort" and has a very open relationship with her partner.

 

Last week, I was at home early and used my girlfriends PC to access the internet. Curiosity got the better of me and I read an email to her friend where she talks about a crush on this co-worker and she has "very very very naughty feelings for him". She also states in the mail that she wants to "rip him to pieces" she tells her friend that the problem is, they got to know each other, and thinks that just prolongs the attraction and makes her think there's something there besides sex. She also states that she doesn't think the "fall out" would be worth it.

 

She has to work some weekends as part of a team of 2. I have just found out that she is scheduled to work (alone in the building) with this guy in a couple of weeks. This is something I am far from happy about.

 

I am in emotional turmoil about this. A part of me wants to confront her about these feeling and how I feel about it. I am scared that she'll find out I read the mail and lose trust (probably deserved). Am I being paranoid? I often think "what does this young, attractive woman see in me?"

I am certain of my love for her, but I'm am really struggling to think things through because of the feelings I now know she has for this other guy.

I have thought about confronting her just using what I have seen in the office. However as the email is recent she might jump to the correct conclusion, that I had read her mail.

 

If someone has any good advice, please help. I can't eat, sleep or concentrate at work (I have taken a lot of time off in the last few weeks because I can't stand to witness the flirtation between them).

 

We are due to get married next April and I really am at the end of my emotional tether.

Sorry if this is a bit of a ramble. I really can't get my head together about it.

Please Help!!

[Bryanp]

Let me get this straight. You are scheduled to get married in April and she writes about how she wants to rip his clothes off and they flirt outrageously? If you do nothing then the chances are good something more will happen expecially when they have to work together. I think you need to fess up that you checked her computer but that she has to know what the repercussions will be if she continues this type of behavior with this guy and/or cheats with him. I think you have so real major problems. You are to be married in less than 6 months and she is engaging in this type of behavior. I would think long and hard about whether you really need to marry a person who is not only a player in the past but continues to play within 6 months before your marriage. You either confront now or are you going to wait until she screws this guy? I wish you luck.

[DanielMadr]

My girlfriend and I have been living together for just over 1 year. She is 10 years younger than me (late twenties). We met (through work) while I was still married although I was in the process of legal separation form my then wife.

 

It started as a long-distance relationship as we lived on opposite sides of the Atlantic. However just over a year ago she moved to Europe to be with me. Things had been going really well until recently.

 

First a little history: Before we met we had both slept around and had many short term relationships and one night stands. We both like to flirt a little, but only for fun. I'm not sure why I've included this as it may not be relevant.

 

Recently I have noticed a change in her attitude towards me. She doesn't seem as close as before, she's been quite short tempered and our sex life has taken a down turn, as far as quantity goes. She has also been flirting outrageously with a male co-worker. Not the normal fun flirtation, which we both enjoy. This flirtation seems much more serious. We work in the same building and I regularly pass through the open office in which they both work. I have noticed the body language, flirtatious giggling and looks that had first got us together. But this time it's directed towards the other guy.

 

Her best friend is a big influence on her with regard to all relationship and sexual matters. I think it is also important to note that her friend is an "escort" and has a very open relationship with her partner.

 

Last week, I was at home early and used my girlfriends PC to access the internet. Curiosity got the better of me and I read an email to her friend where she talks about a crush on this co-worker and she has "very very very naughty feelings for him". She also states in the mail that she wants to "rip him to pieces" she tells her friend that the problem is, they got to know each other, and thinks that just prolongs the attraction and makes her think there's something there besides sex. She also states that she doesn't think the "fall out" would be worth it.

 

She has to work some weekends as part of a team of 2. I have just found out that she is scheduled to work (alone in the building) with this guy in a couple of weeks. This is something I am far from happy about.

 

I am in emotional turmoil about this. A part of me wants to confront her about these feeling and how I feel about it. I am scared that she'll find out I read the mail and lose trust (probably deserved). Am I being paranoid? I often think "what does this young, attractive woman see in me?"

I am certain of my love for her, but I'm am really struggling to think things through because of the feelings I now know she has for this other guy.

I have thought about confronting her just using what I have seen in the office. However as the email is recent she might jump to the correct conclusion, that I had read her mail.

 

If someone has any good advice, please help. I can't eat, sleep or concentrate at work (I have taken a lot of time off in the last few weeks because I can't stand to witness the flirtation between them).

 

We are due to get married next April and I really am at the end of my emotional tether.

Sorry if this is a bit of a ramble. I really can't get my head together about it.

Please Help!!

 

You want to marry Attention Wh0re? Run Forrest Run. Women has to be loyal to marry her. Either she is AW or you made something wrong...she lost respect for you...love. It doesnt matter now if her interest level is at bottom because of you or her. It is OVER. If she still wants to get marry with you....she is probably golddigger too.

 

Tell her....'It was nice knowing you, have a nice life. I dont think we match. Bye" and dont you dare give her another chance...just dump her in most non chalant way...no hard feelings, no yelling...be a man. You picked the wrong one.

[Charlotte434]

Please get rid of her. From first hand experience this type of flirting is going to end up with the 2 of them together. This happened at the office I work at with 2 married co workers. Add some liquor and a party and the 2 of them were making out in front of the whole office. This girl is obviously not ready for marriage bc if she was she would not be flirting and have crushes on other men.