Guest Posted November 4, 2006 Share Posted November 4, 2006 Long story short. We have a 4 year old son and have been broken up since he was 1. In retrospect, the break up was mainly my fault. I was a bitch, a lot of outside factors effecting my ability to deal with all. I'm so regretful of the way I acted. And ashamed. He and I get along well now. I thought I was getting over him. Two weeks ago he helped me with some house maintenance. He was suppose to take our son out, but spent the whole day here helping. I told him that repayment from me would be that his outing on Friday with our son was on me. He asked me to go with and I did. I think going was a mistake. Throws me back in as he is one guy I've had a very hard time getting over. This isn't the first time he's hung out or asked me to go with him and M. Each time I am back to square one of our break up. I still love him and probably always will. I can't tell him my feelings, because I think it would make him uncomfortable when he picks up M. And I know him. I know he'd be leary to start a relationship with me again. I know he knows I've changed and I know he has. And I hate to disrupt the relationship we have now (friendly). I don't know what to do. I think it would be easier if we were dating others. I'm screwed. Should I refuse all outings/visits with him? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 4, 2006 Share Posted November 4, 2006 I can't tell him my feelings, because I think it would make him uncomfortable when he picks up M. And I know him. I know he'd be leary to start a relationship with me again. I know he knows I've changed and I know he has. And I hate to disrupt the relationship we have now (friendly). I don't know what to do. I think it would be easier if we were dating others. I'm screwed. Should I refuse all outings/visits with him? You won't tell him how you feel because he might be uncomfortable when dealing with you re your child - but you are uncomfortable now. Sounds like you have a good working friendly relationship. Guys that detest their ex's don't come help around the house. I say tell him you now realize your part/behavior and are happy that you are getting along - as you are co-parents - but that outtings together as a family blur the boundaries for you and bring up emotions you are trying to tame. Link to post Share on other sites
Ssheena Posted November 4, 2006 Share Posted November 4, 2006 Hmm. I don't know. I think you should tell him how you are feeling and if you know what you want, say that as well. That would be being true to yourself and your feelings. Be prepared for him to say, well, I'm not interested in getting into a relationship with you again, or, that's not what I'm feeling or whatever. Make sure to tell him you don't want it to mess up the way things are now - and no matter what he says - don't let it change things. Maybe he would be open to seeing where things could go with you now. One thing is for sure, unless you tell him how you feel, you will never know. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted November 5, 2006 Share Posted November 5, 2006 Fear of rejection is a very powerful emotion. You MAY be losing out on something important by being afraid. The best thing for a child is an intact family. Mom, Dad, Child. You might try looking and acting you best... and encouraging him to see you as a woman again. If that's something you would like ... a little seduction is always a good thing. Link to post Share on other sites
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