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Bringing Up "The Talk" With Her


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Alright, this past summer I began working with a girl. We'll call her "M". We got along really well. Flirted. That sort of thing. Then I found out she had a boyfriend.

 

Fast forward to about a month ago. She broke up with him. We have gone to a couple of movies (with friends), dinner, that sort of thing. We still flirt. A little less so now because of the flak we take at work.

 

Everyone at work is getting wise to us. I hear "what's up with you and M"? every shift.

 

A mutual friend, we'll call "J" has chatted with M a couple times about us. M gives the usual "He's such a good friend, I don't know if I could ever date him", "I have mixed feelings for him", etc lines.

 

I trust J, but I've recently found out she has a thing for me...I have no feelings for J.

 

So the bottom line is, it has gotten to the point where I have to talk with M and see what she's thinking. If there's no chance with her, I would like to know. I know she is maybe afraid to tell me how she feels, because she doesn't want to lose me as a friend. I don't either.

 

So what's the best way to bring this talk up with her? Any advise would be appreciated.

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i am the only person it seems that enjoys the act of face to face communication....hey, u know what? when someone tells me something, i take it at face value..i used to worry about the secondary stuff [like whether i was told over the phone or email, whatever] all that did was have me not focus on what was being said...

 

no when someone tells me they don't wanna see me, i believe them and don't try to win then back, and it doesn't matter how they tell me...

 

no i LISTEN to their words instead of staring off into space....

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Well, you say the two of you are friends, so you should feel comfortable, conversation wise with each other. You have already gone out together, so it will seem natural to ask for a get together.

 

I would suggest lunch or dinner, somewhere familiar and comfortable. Start out with the usual chit chat, then maybe bring up something comical from when the two of you first starting working together. Then mention how you are always hearing "what's up with you and M"? at work and go with your feelings from there.

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Well, you say the two of you are friends, so you should feel comfortable, conversation wise with each other. You have already gone out together, so it will seem natural to ask for a get together.

 

I would suggest lunch or dinner, somewhere familiar and comfortable. Start out with the usual chit chat, then maybe bring up something comical from when the two of you first starting working together. Then mention how you are always hearing "what's up with you and M"? at work and go with your feelings from there.

 

Yeah, I was thinking of someting along those lines. Bring up the "everyone at work keeps asking me what's up with us" thing, then go from there.

 

Thanks.

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