Lola Posted April 23, 2002 Share Posted April 23, 2002 I don't know what to do and I need help. I am in a 10 year relationship and am going to get married this summer. My fiancee works in a business where he is gone for a few weeks at a time on a routine basis. Since February I have been having an affair with a good friend of mine. We had sex once before last year (it was crap)and this past Feb we started hanging out alot (in my fiancees absence). Things happened and we started having sex really regularly (great sex now). I love my fiancee and i think I want to marry him (he is a great guy)but i can't keep my friend off my mind and I can't seem to stop having sex with him. My friend and I get along really well (obviously)butI don't think we could have a future together, plus he used to be my friends boyfriend for 3 years (she is living away).Also, last summer he was having an affair with one of my other friends whose boyfriend was away, she is now away also but she is coming back very soon for the summer, and she expects their affair to resume as soon as she comes back. My head is a mess and i can't get it straight. Somebody talk to me!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
ok Posted April 23, 2002 Share Posted April 23, 2002 Do NOT get married. Did I say that loud enough? DO NOT GET MARRIED! Whatever your reasosn for screwing this other guy, you oew it to your fiance to either leave your fiance or drop the other guy and tell your fiance about how you've been cheating on him. Do you really think you are being fair to your fiance? Do you really like what you are doing to yourself? If you're horny, get a vibrator. But do not even think about walking down some church aisle deluding your fiance into thinking he is marrying a faithful wife filled with love and joy about her "marriage". Youy are nowhere near ready to get married if you think having a secret affair is just fine. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 23, 2002 Share Posted April 23, 2002 Your head should be in a mess. I feel very deep sadness for your fiance, who is about to marry a lady who does not understand loyalty and committment. Lady, you are in no way ready for marriage. Cancel your engagement, stay single, screw your brains out with your favorite people who are exes of your friends and who are used to having affairs with others, and when you think you've had your fill...then you might be ready to settle down. You live a very exciting life. Stay with it and don't make some other innocent person a victim of your indiscriminate playfulness. Link to post Share on other sites
Confused Posted April 23, 2002 Share Posted April 23, 2002 There are several ways out of this perdicament. One is to tell your fiancee you are having an affair and see how he takes it. Who knows, he could be having an affair too and it could be a big relief for him. Chances are he is not having an affair. In fact, he probably will not be vary happy about yours even though you are getting some good sex out of it. Telling your fiancee about your affair will result in A solution to the mess you are in. He will either be OK with it, in which case you can continue the affair until something else happens or he will not like it too much and call off the wedding if not the entire relationship, in which case you can continue the affair also. The only problem you may have in dealing with this mess in this way is if he doesn't want to break up with you or if he does not call off the wedding and wants you to stop seeing your other man and go to counselling or something. That would be an even bigger mess than you have now. Make sure you know what you would do if he asked you to do this before you tell him about your affair or you could still be stuck all over again. Link to post Share on other sites
Samantha Posted April 24, 2002 Share Posted April 24, 2002 You are not ready to get married. I don't know what to do and I need help. I am in a 10 year relationship and am going to get married this summer. My fiancee works in a business where he is gone for a few weeks at a time on a routine basis. Since February I have been having an affair with a good friend of mine. We had sex once before last year (it was crap)and this past Feb we started hanging out alot (in my fiancees absence). Things happened and we started having sex really regularly (great sex now). I love my fiancee and i think I want to marry him (he is a great guy)but i can't keep my friend off my mind and I can't seem to stop having sex with him. My friend and I get along really well (obviously)butI don't think we could have a future together, plus he used to be my friends boyfriend for 3 years (she is living away).Also, last summer he was having an affair with one of my other friends whose boyfriend was away, she is now away also but she is coming back very soon for the summer, and she expects their affair to resume as soon as she comes back. My head is a mess and i can't get it straight. Somebody talk to me!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted April 24, 2002 Share Posted April 24, 2002 Marriage isn't for you. Screwing your friend while your poor fiance gets the short straw of your attention. I feel bad for this guy. I don't know what to do and I need help. I am in a 10 year relationship and am going to get married this summer. My fiancee works in a business where he is gone for a few weeks at a time on a routine basis. Since February I have been having an affair with a good friend of mine. We had sex once before last year (it was crap)and this past Feb we started hanging out alot (in my fiancees absence). Things happened and we started having sex really regularly (great sex now). I love my fiancee and i think I want to marry him (he is a great guy)but i can't keep my friend off my mind and I can't seem to stop having sex with him. My friend and I get along really well (obviously)butI don't think we could have a future together, plus he used to be my friends boyfriend for 3 years (she is living away).Also, last summer he was having an affair with one of my other friends whose boyfriend was away, she is now away also but she is coming back very soon for the summer, and she expects their affair to resume as soon as she comes back. My head is a mess and i can't get it straight. Somebody talk to me!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
velvet Posted April 25, 2002 Share Posted April 25, 2002 You messed up! If you wanted to marry this guy, you wouldnt haven given sex with your friend a second thought. THATS when your in love with someone 100% to marry the person. Your not in love, or you can continue telling yourslef that you are! I don't know what to do and I need help. I am in a 10 year relationship and am going to get married this summer. My fiancee works in a business where he is gone for a few weeks at a time on a routine basis. Since February I have been having an affair with a good friend of mine. We had sex once before last year (it was crap)and this past Feb we started hanging out alot (in my fiancees absence). Things happened and we started having sex really regularly (great sex now). I love my fiancee and i think I want to marry him (he is a great guy)but i can't keep my friend off my mind and I can't seem to stop having sex with him. My friend and I get along really well (obviously)butI don't think we could have a future together, plus he used to be my friends boyfriend for 3 years (she is living away).Also, last summer he was having an affair with one of my other friends whose boyfriend was away, she is now away also but she is coming back very soon for the summer, and she expects their affair to resume as soon as she comes back. My head is a mess and i can't get it straight. Somebody talk to me!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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