frannie Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 I am glad that you don't feel bad. That was never my intention. It was another poster that insinuated that I was trying to make you feel bad. And that one line was still the gist of your post. You only know what they show you. And in one year with someone you only get about 2 hours a week of face time with, is hardly enough time to claim to know someone. I read it somewhere that communication is 90% non-verbal. So until a person is truly able to interact with a person for more than 10 hours face to face a week, you can't really know the person you are dealing with. You really never know 100% of anyone... something always remains unknown, however long you're together. We hear a lot about this 'you don't get to do his laundry' so you don't really know him... but you know, so many wives doing the laundry and not knowing half of what goes on in their husband's lives. It goes two ways. (and that post was not meant to hurt or offend anyone... just to point out the obvious which is rarely mentioned). Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 I do pay my own bills, barely, but i do. He helps me out with anything else that i may want and can't afford. Yes, he pays for my cell bill and any toys that i have my eye on. He pays for gas and any parts that i need for my vehicle. He gives me money all the time. He does take care of me, and he knows how much i HATE taking money from him. He does it because he loves me, otherwise, he would not feel the need to do it. It just upsets me when some say that he is a fantasy. Yes, there are some parts of him that i am unable to have. That hurts me terribly. But, other than sleeping under the same roof, we have a very real relationship. We argue like any "normal" couple, about "normal" couple things. I know most of his flaws, there may be a few hidden ones, but i'm pretty confident that i know him and that things wouldn't be different if we did share the same bed every night (which he sleeps on the couch every night, but you get the idea). He is not a fantasy. I've seen him at his worst, and i've seen him at his best. No one, and i mean no one, but me, can make him talk when he is in a bad mood. He will shut down and ignore everyone. This is the way he's been his whole life, and anyone who knows him knows to leave him be and that he will snap out of it when he's done processing it and dealing with it himself. Like i said, no one here knows him, so no one can judge him or me, and tell me that what we have isn't real. This is what i chose for myself, and i am the one who has to deal with it. your story is changing. It began with how much your man loves his wife and how she would never expect this and you know he loves her and would not want to hurt her and he is the last person you'd expect to cheat. Then you say he sleeps on the couch every night. Makes no sense. fantasy. Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 I'm not commanding respect.............I have been respectful to all the BS's, even the ones who initially attacked me. You are entitled to your opinion, but i have not called anyone names here, and i don't feel like i deserved that. But, that's fine. I must have poor manners then...............i'll leave it at that. That i commend you for. You have been very upfront and respectful. Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 I had no problem with that post. I actually appreciated the concern. It was her hooker comment that struck a nerve. No, they do not have bills (as in mortgage, vehicle payments, the big things.....) and he would not give me money if he could not afford to do so. And she could not come back to me, because there is no "paper trail" of that money, and to her, it never existed. I'm not worried one bit. wow that sounds illegal. All finances should have a paper trail. Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 stillhere you even stated in this post that he gives you a weekly allowance. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=953326&postcount=46 Looks like you have a perfect set up. Your knight in shining armour. You have it all. The love, the sex, the money without any of the daily monetony of living together. The easy road. What a perfect fantasy. Tell his wife. See what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 Uh. Man I thought you were someone else, with the lifted avatar. sorry luvtoto. To the OP, I wouldn't get invovled with a man twice my age, now that I have seen what happened to my mother when my Dad passed away. He was 22 years older than her and she spent the most vital years of her life caring for an aging and ill man, and at 55 with a lot of years left, is left devastated and alone after 35 years of marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted November 16, 2006 Share Posted November 16, 2006 Look I know this thread is dying, but I decided to read the reference post that noforgiveness posted and it raised a question for me: If this is the truth: From an OW, my MM spends money on me, and lots of it. He supports me financially in a big way. I get a weekly allowance and all, plus he pays some of my bills and any extra expenses that may come up. why attempt to minimize it in this thread when called on it? You sound like a "kept woman" to be honest. You are very comfortable taking money from him from the sound of the above. I mean, it only is what it is, why deny? Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted November 16, 2006 Share Posted November 16, 2006 Look I know this thread is dying, but I decided to read the reference post that noforgiveness posted and it raised a question for me: If this is the truth: why attempt to minimize it in this thread when called on it? You sound like a "kept woman" to be honest. You are very comfortable taking money from him from the sound of the above. I mean, it only is what it is, why deny? In all fairness some women(wives are in thier marriages for just this reason) Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted November 16, 2006 Share Posted November 16, 2006 Priscilla, I'm just curious as to why the story changed when challenged on it. That's all. And honestly, if a W is only there for the money, that is her (and his) perogative. If the MM didn't want to be M to her, he doesn't have to be. It just seems that the minute someone said something negative about it, it was backpedalled. Like I said though, it is what it is. Link to post Share on other sites
stillhere Posted November 16, 2006 Share Posted November 16, 2006 Say what you wish, but i know what goes on. He does take care of me, and yes he does give me a weekly allowance (hiding it) and by the way you keep bringing it up, you sound a little jealous, maybe? Don't worry about my life, or what i do with it. I just can't see someone taking care of another if there are no feelings involved. Do all you want to try to upset me, or make me change my mind, but it's not going to happen. Are you so bitter because my MM is taking better care of me than your H took care of you? Just because you aren't happy means that my life has to suck too? I'm not gonna continue with this charade. It's a waste of my time and energy. Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 NID: At this point, WHO CARES? IT'S NOT YOUR BUSINESS OR ANYONE ELSE'S ON THIS THREAD ANYWAY!!! Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 I asked out of curiosity. Her story changed and I wanted to see what she would say. If she didn't want to make it my business or anyone else's, SHE should not have posted it on the internet. Especially on this forum as she can not delete or edit it away anymore. Should his W ever need evidence that "paper trail"-less money is being spent on her. Look, I am not the one sleeping with someone else's H and then bragging about him paying my way through life. I am not here bragging about anything. And, GEL, for the record, I don't know exactly what you are like in real life, but you think other people can stick up for themselves? :sarcasm: This had nothing to do with you, quite honestly. Stillhere, like I said, you brought it up. I simply asked about the inconsistency. I don't give a rat's a$$ about what the MM is doing for you, I already have someone taking care of me. And, I am quite happy and very far from bitter, but I expect that accusation as I am not in support (nor admiration nor jealousy) of your choices. Its quite funny that I am being accused of being jealous of a man giving you a weekly allowance. LOL. I don't need anyone thinking that they OWN me on that level. Thank you very much. Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 Quite honestly, I don't care if it had anything to do with me or not...we should be able to speak freely without being hounded for days over something...everyone already knows that you and others don't agree with it and have known for days since you guys can't get over it...same posts, different day... is the infidelity board so boring right now that all the BS have to come here and harass the ow? Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 I knew I could count on you to say something. I don't harrass the OW anymore than you are harrassing me. Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 I knew I could count on you to say something. I don't harrass the OW anymore than you are harrassing me. I, like others here, always have something to say... And my intent is not to harass you or anyone else... Link to post Share on other sites
stillhere Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 I would like to know how my story changed? He gives me money, that i don't like taking!! OMG!! He does support be financially, in a big way!!!! But, i can support myself without his help. So, still not seeing how my story changed!! But that's ok, because you know everything. You know me, you know him, and you know my story. Why are you here anyway? Didn't your H cheat on you? Apparently you're not over it. Go deal with him, because i'm not the one who was/is f*cking him!!! I think you're taking this all too personal. I try not to be a b*tch, but you're making it way too easy. You are personally attacking me, and i never asked for it. GEL knows what i'm going through, so just like you, she is taking it personal. You had no problem coming after me, so why are you so upset that she has something to say as well? Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 Thou dost protest/project much. I really am LOL at your reply. You are taking this personally. I simply asked a question. You are reacting very personally. I cared enough to ask a question. I don't know you, but I find your sitch interesting and so I inquired. That's it in a nutshell. Didn't intend for you to get so infuriated, but since you have taken to name calling and vulgarity....I see no need to apologize as I haven't done anything offensive towards you. I am only posting now so that you can judge the tone of my posts, in comparison to yours. You are practically yelling. I made an inquiry that struck a nerve. And your story did change (which is the only thing that I asked). One thread you get a weekly allowance and that he helps you out in a big way. This thread you say he only buys you gas, or helps out when you need it. That's it. I am not angry with you, nor am I affected by your obvious anger. Its your choice to be angry. You and I are anonymous people on the internet. You took it there. I didn't. This is my last post on this subject. But you are welcome to take this to PM if you would like. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 Thou dost protest/project much. I really am LOL at your reply. You are taking this personally. I simply asked a question. You are reacting very personally. I cared enough to ask a question. I don't know you, but I find your sitch interesting and so I inquired. That's it in a nutshell. Didn't intend for you to get so infuriated, but since you have taken to name calling and vulgarity....I see no need to apologize as I haven't done anything offensive towards you. I am only posting now so that you can judge the tone of my posts, in comparison to yours. You are practically yelling. I made an inquiry that struck a nerve. And your story did change (which is the only thing that I asked). One thread you get a weekly allowance and that he helps you out in a big way. This thread you say he only buys you gas, or helps out when you need it. That's it. I am not angry with you, nor am I affected by your obvious anger. Its your choice to be angry. You and I are anonymous people on the internet. You took it there. I didn't. This is my last post on this subject. But you are welcome to take this to PM if you would like. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 Thou dost protest/project much. I really am LOL at your reply. You are taking this personally. I simply asked a question. You are reacting very personally. I cared enough to ask a question. I don't know you, but I find your sitch interesting and so I inquired. That's it in a nutshell. Didn't intend for you to get so infuriated, but since you have taken to name calling and vulgarity....I see no need to apologize as I haven't done anything offensive towards you. I am only posting now so that you can judge the tone of my posts, in comparison to yours. You are practically yelling. I made an inquiry that struck a nerve. And your story did change (which is the only thing that I asked). One thread you get a weekly allowance and that he helps you out in a big way. This thread you say he only buys you gas, or helps out when you need it. That's it. I am not angry with you, nor am I affected by your obvious anger. Its your choice to be angry. You and I are anonymous people on the internet. You took it there. I didn't. This is my last post on this subject. But you are welcome to take this to PM if you would like. Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 I would like to know how my story changed? He gives me money, that i don't like taking!! OMG!! He does support be financially, in a big way!!!! But, i can support myself without his help. So, still not seeing how my story changed!! But that's ok, because you know everything. You know me, you know him, and you know my story. Why are you here anyway? Didn't your H cheat on you? Apparently you're not over it. Go deal with him, because i'm not the one who was/is f*cking him!!! I think you're taking this all too personal. I try not to be a b*tch, but you're making it way too easy. You are personally attacking me, and i never asked for it. GEL knows what i'm going through, so just like you, she is taking it personal. You had no problem coming after me, so why are you so upset that she has something to say as well? wow what happened to that cool calm understanding her mess woman? I think you are angry because you may actually be seeing how truly awful the situation you are in is. How horrible you are being treated. He's paying you off. Tell his wife. See how quickly you get cutt off. He loves you right? You are confident of that so tell his wife. Or maybe you are too ashamed to face her She deserves to know how much of her family's money is being wasted. Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 kind of funny yesmaybe has not been back. Makes you wonder if he really did separate and they went happily into the sunset or if MM was giving her another line to keep her on the hook. Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 what the heck is with the negativity here? There are certian people here who are hurting who would like other people to hurt as well... just for the record being a OW which is something I never thought I would be really is not ideal to say the least... what the heck is with the constant bashing the OW... See her as a person first... Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 what the heck is with the negativity here? There are certian people here who are hurting who would like other people to hurt as well... just for the record being a OW which is something I never thought I would be really is not ideal to say the least... what the heck is with the constant bashing the OW... See her as a person first... Like the way the wife is seen? The wife on these forums just seems to be the obstacle in your way. Not a woman with feelings and a FAMILY. Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 Like the way the wife is seen? The wife on these forums just seems to be the obstacle in your way. Not a woman with feelings and a FAMILY. Maybe for some... but for some not the wife is not an obstacle she is a living breathing harsh reality... could be your sister, your best friend even. For me I did not know he was initally married. It hurts all around you know. I feel your pain, at some point though you have to forgive and let it go, or it will eat you alive! Link to post Share on other sites
peacelove Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 To keep it civil. reneet was permantly restricted from LS for harsh posts against betrayed spouses. Link to post Share on other sites
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