Reconcile?

[whattheheck]

Like many of you, I have been reading these forums in hopes that something will shed light on my situation. My ex and I have separated many times and finally got a divorce. Mind you, everything started about five years ago and has been a constant yo-yo ever since. We thought by getting a divorce we would be able to move forward but our strong connection and strong friendship brings us back to each other every time. By the way, we do not live near one another so we have not seen each other in quite some time.

 

We both are trying to move on but we always come back to each other. We never sought help by going to therapy which I regret. We seem to talk better when we are apart. When we are together, if one thing starts to go wrong we would make a quick decision to separate. For some reason talking about what was hurting us was always a challenge.

 

I am not even sure what I am looking for by writing this. Maybe someone that is in a similar situation can offer some advice.

 

You can tell that we both love one another dearly but are terrified to go through another breakup. Is it possible for two people to love one another so much but not be able to be together?

 

I can not imagine him not in my life and he feels the same way. Our sex life was greatly impacted due to the on and off status of our relationship (this was a big issue). Is that something that can be worked on? Has too many things happened in the past where it is too late? It is so confusing to me. My counselor has made me aware of the real problems of our relationship and not the one that we have always focused on which was where would we live. Our families live in two separate states. How is it fair for one person to be close to family and not the other? Sure you can compromise and live where you have no family or friends and have to find a job and do this on top of trying to make your relationship work. Is this possible? Has anyone ever done this?

 

In the end it almost seems to me that if we want this to work we would do whatever needed to be done to get there but are too damn afraid that our problems are something that can never be fixed or is simply way too late.

 

Any ideas? Suggestions?