blueres Posted November 4, 2006 Share Posted November 4, 2006 I've been seeing someone for about a half year. we're not locked in and we're not explicitly polyamorous either. its more that we've been monogamous out of happenstance rather than rule. its been gloriously ambiguous until recently when ... we talked about rules. i expressed how im not in the place in my life where commitment of any sort makes sense. i related how much i've enjoyed our time together but that i need to maintain fundamental independence. she insists there's no rule but that it's important to her to that i talk to her before i "go there" with another girl. i'm not into this, as i picked up cues about how unhappy it would make her, and i know that it means there's a guilt factor holding me back from pursuing anything else. trial by fire is coming up. a girl from my past who ive fooled around with on visits a few times (last: about 8 months ago) is showing up into town to visit mutual friends in 2 weeks. she wrote me and expressed interest in seeing me. something might happen, or might not. (it's been fickle) but she's definitely fun. where do i go with this? if i talk first, she'll lay down the guilt trip cock block and i won't be at my best when visiting girl shows. if i don't, i'm in some way disrespecting. this is not the position i want to be in! is it time to call it off with girl #1? this one short visit from a romantic interest (who's not even visiting ME in particular mind you) doesn't seem big enough to warrant ending it. should i maintain silence? talk afterwards and say "this is what happened. it could happen again. i really enjoy your company but i understand if this isn't right for you"? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 7, 2006 Share Posted November 7, 2006 Yes, you should end it. It is obvious she wants more from you, something serious that involves commitment, sacrifice, and loyalty. You do not sound as if you are anywhere near able to give these...not your fault, just a fact. She is not going to stop wanting more from you and has probably been, until now, biting her tongue. Let her and you BOTH go free, you will both be happier in the end. Link to post Share on other sites
Wantingtogetitright Posted November 8, 2006 Share Posted November 8, 2006 and allow her to find a decent man. If you wanna go out and root around then find some women that are just as loose with their morals. Don't subject this poor girl to this. Selfish #$%^&! Link to post Share on other sites
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