Big Ooops....

[mimi]

Okay, here is my problem........

 

First off, I have been with my guy for 1 1/2 years. We live together. He is 26, I am 20. He thinks, because of my age, all I want to do is got out and flirt and party. Which is untrue, I go out about 1 every 2-3 months. He is very untrustworthy of me, and thinks I will cheat on him. Because of this, I don't tell him too much about what I do, cause he'll turn it into something it's not.

 

He found a picture of me and my female friend camping in a swimming pool at a hotel during a girls-only camping trip.

 

He got mad , and asked why I was in a pool. I really didn't have anything to hide, because nothing happened, we just got free access to a pool, but I knew he would understand so I lied and told him it was a long time ago. He knew I lied and I finally told him the truth. Now he is mad cause I lied to him. I dont like to lie, and am very honest, but sometimes he interrogates me, and I get nervous and scared. He packed all my things, and told me to go. I honestly would never cheat on him, but he doesn't get it. I find it hard to be honest wiht him, cause he puts me down alot, what should I do? Am I in the wrong, and what could I say ?

[ok]

Mimi,

 

He's doing you a favor. While he is a controlling and angry guy, you are a lying immature girl. You find it difficult to tell the truth and he is frustrated with that inability to be honest.

 

His own insecuities lead him to think your lying leads to cheating.

 

Since you are so young he realizes that you need to grow up more in order to be in a one-on-one relationship successfully.

 

You should never find it hard to be honest with teh one you love. otherwise, it isn't love.

 

Move on wiser and honestly, feel fortunate that he wasn't a batterer.

[Tony T]

Wow, what a great opportunity to get away from a butthole. Take advantage and leave ASAP!!!

 

I won't label you a liar because most of us bend the truth when we think there will be great negative consequences. This guy is extremely immature and does not provide you with a proper environment for telling the truth.

 

A lot of his distrust of you is probably because he is untrustworthy himself. In psychology, it's called projection. People tend to project their own crap onto other people. Because he probably has a tendency to cheat on his girlfriends, he automatically thinks they will cheat on him. I don't think you need that at all.

 

Go find a guy you can be honest with and who will accept that and trust you. And be sure to give him every reason to trust you.

 

There is no good reason whatsoever to keep this relationship going because he just isn't worth it. But do work on yourself all the time, don't do things behind a guy's back, be straight up, and make sure you're with a guy who can handle the truth without getting bent out of shape.

 

This is all part of the journey of life. Good luck with it.

[velvet]

I was in the same boat for about four years. Except it drove me away. So what did you do? Did you leave? Might be for the best, but he might not be gone yet!

 

Wow, what a great opportunity to get away from a butthole. Take advantage and leave ASAP!!!

 

I won't label you a liar because most of us bend the truth when we think there will be great negative consequences. This guy is extremely immature and does not provide you with a proper environment for telling the truth. A lot of his distrust of you is probably because he is untrustworthy himself. In psychology, it's called projection. People tend to project their own crap onto other people. Because he probably has a tendency to cheat on his girlfriends, he automatically thinks they will cheat on him. I don't think you need that at all. Go find a guy you can be honest with and who will accept that and trust you. And be sure to give him every reason to trust you. There is no good reason whatsoever to keep this relationship going because he just isn't worth it. But do work on yourself all the time, don't do things behind a guy's back, be straight up, and make sure you're with a guy who can handle the truth without getting bent out of shape. This is all part of the journey of life. Good luck with it.

[chris]

Okay, let me tell you that he is jealous and insecure. I was engaged to a man who was jealous of my female friends. If you have to hide things like this from him so that he won't get mad, you are in the wrong situation. Maybe you can talk to him and make him understand that you have friends, but nine times out of ten, he will not change. I was with a man for 2 years whom I loved very dearly. He was the same way, and after we broke up 2 1/2 years later, I finally realized that I would not live like that anymore. You deserve so much better.

Okay, here is my problem........ First off, I have been with my guy for 1 1/2 years. We live together. He is 26, I am 20. He thinks, because of my age, all I want to do is got out and flirt and party. Which is untrue, I go out about 1 every 2-3 months. He is very untrustworthy of me, and thinks I will cheat on him. Because of this, I don't tell him too much about what I do, cause he'll turn it into something it's not. He found a picture of me and my female friend camping in a swimming pool at a hotel during a girls-only camping trip. He got mad , and asked why I was in a pool. I really didn't have anything to hide, because nothing happened, we just got free access to a pool, but I knew he would understand so I lied and told him it was a long time ago. He knew I lied and I finally told him the truth. Now he is mad cause I lied to him. I dont like to lie, and am very honest, but sometimes he interrogates me, and I get nervous and scared. He packed all my things, and told me to go. I honestly would never cheat on him, but he doesn't get it. I find it hard to be honest wiht him, cause he puts me down alot, what should I do? Am I in the wrong, and what could I say ?