Need a little support today

[alphamale]

[magichands]

Oh well, maybe I'll have another breakdown and lose a bunch of weight again.

Every cloud has a silver lining.

[the_alchemyst]

 

Oh well, maybe I'll have another breakdown and lose a bunch of weight again.

 

Shh. Don't divulge my secret weight-loss diet.

[shawn_68]

And I thought I had been doing so well... yet this reduced me to a blubbering, sobbing, smeared mascara mess.

 

You do know that this will go away in time. Be good to yourself. You've endured a lot.

 

You've got a great head on your shoulders. Realize that the difficulties that you have faced are now fading away. Tomorrow will be a different day with new possibilities.

 

Someday your ex will realize what he's lost. You're starting to realize this now ... but soon you'll realize even greater -- you're much better off without him.

 

Take care KM.

[magichands]

Shh. Don't divulge my secret weight-loss diet.

Yeah...I was pacing the floor so much that not only did I wear a groove in the carpet, but I also lost my spare tyre.

 

Three cheers for nervous energy. But after a while I just fall back into depression, and my "ice cream" coping strategy.

[magichands]

Tomorrow will be a different day with new possibilities.

A good start.

Someday your ex will realize what he's lost.

A great middle.

you're much better off without him.

But what a punchline!

[Mythical]

hey Kittenmoon,

All I can say is I totally know how it feels, I still think and get all worked up about thigns from a long time ago, and the worst part is I just keep thinking WHY?! Why did this happen? Why did he do this? blah blah blah, I know I can't give any advice right nowbecause I know when I feel like this I know there's no advice for me I just want to talk about it. If I can't get answers that's the only thing I can do, Talk about it...........cry...........think im over it....mad..........freak out..........I totally understand as much as I am strong and know there's no point in dragging things on for my own sack........it still happens.\

Hope you feel better....you will find someone/something that will sweep you away from the pain.....you just have to wait until your ready

[KittenMoon]

Fortunately, the anti-ds keep me from going into the "why why why" spiral, or even ruminating for too long. A-freakin-mazing. Thumbs up, science, at least on that point.

 

I think I'm just tired of being overwhelmed by these emotions. But it's still so very hard to believe the amazingness that used to be is utterly gone. The guy who wanted to marry me is gone. The person who thought the sun rose and set with me is gone. The person who was always there was me is gone.

 

And obviously, in truth, he was gone long before we broke up, but like I fool I just thought we were growing up....

 

God, I treated him SO good, and we all know this is a world of girls who take advantage of any guy who shows and ounce of weakness..... Did I ever let him spend megabucks on me? No. Did I ever pressure him for commitment? No. Did I demand his attention 24/7? No. Did I ever block his boys nights, or his geeky gaming? Hell no- instead I baked cookies for them!!!! Did I ever block him from downloading porn. No, I watched it with him!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Oh, gosh, the list just goes on. That fool.

 

P.s. I swear I didn't act even 10% as mental around him as I do on LS....

[alphamale]

God, I treated him SO good, and we all know this is a world of girls who take advantage of any guy who shows and ounce of weakness..... Did I ever let him spend megabucks on me? No. Did I ever pressure him for commitment? No. Did I demand his attention 24/7? No. Did I ever block his boys nights, or his geeky gaming? Hell no- instead I baked cookies for them!!!! Did I ever block him from downloading porn. No, I watched it with him!!!!!!!!!!!!

hmm...sounds like you suffer from "nice girl" syndrome.

[KittenMoon]

hmm...sounds like you suffer from "nice girl" syndrome.

 

Nah, I was a pretty big b*tch too.

 

But the reality is put up with my ****e, I will put up with yours. But treat me less than I deserve and things turn around quick...... I began putting up with less and less the worse I got treated.

[magichands]

Nope. An asterisk would be missing for that word.

What do you know...I can't count. ***** me.

[magichands]

God, I treated him SO good,

Nah, I was a pretty big b*tch too.

Bipolar. Case closed.

[KittenMoon]

Bipolar. Case closed.

 

Human being. Tragically.

[magichands]

Human being.

Well...then why is your (ex-)relationship perfect one minute, and then not-so-perfect the next? Decide.

[KittenMoon]

Well...then why is your (ex-)relationship perfect one minute, and then not-so-perfect the next? Decide.

 

It was good. It was bad. It was fun. It was flawed. It was human- nothing gets to be perfect.

 

I need sleep now. More grieving tomorrow.

[magichands]

It was good. It was bad. It was fun. It was flawed. It was human- nothing gets to be perfect.

Now I'm getting misty-eyed. Goodnight.

[KittenMoon]

Now I'm getting misty-eyed. Goodnight.

 

Geez.

 

Look, I just never expected Prince Charming on a white horse. Nor do I want that.

[magichands]

Look, I just never expected Prince Charming on a white horse. Nor do I want that.

I agree. That's sooo gay.

 

So you miss the love that you thought you had. Try missing the love that you thought you had, when you're the one at fault. That's my pain. Sure, I deserve it - does that make it easier? Maybe. I can't help thinking it would be easier to be let down, though. Then one might have more luck forgetting them.

[ralph124c]

KittenMoon, I for one know exactly how you feel (check out my 'so many reasons to end it, but can't' thread under Second Chances. Also check out 'best coping methods' in this forum). There are so many things about my ex that I KNOW are wrong for me -- selfish, hurtful, unreasonable, clueless etc. -- one of your "girls who take advantage of any guy who shows an ounce of weakness.....". Whether she changes or not I can't wait around being the victim of her 'journey' to becoming a real human being all the time! She has really treated me like crap, and all my friends, family, and therpaist are totally bewildered why I have this weird, deep core of love for her (which is actually waning, with almost no contact, and the contact we do have she keeps showing her self-centeredness). I was so patient, loving, kind, and gave her so many chances to change her behavior and she made so many promises which she broke. I want back the FEELING of certain times we had togther, and I don't want to go to bed and to wake up alone.... but I don't want HER back, that's for sure. Just some aspects of her (which I try not to think about!), which is clearly not possible.

 

It doesn't matter who ended it, really. I felt I was forced to end this because I couldn't take it any more, but I feel just as bad as if I were dumped. In a way I was -- it was her decision to do and say the things she did, even though she knew I wouldn't accept them.

 

I don't agree at all that therapy won't help. It helps lots of people all the time. Stick with it if you think it's helping you.

[Adunaphel]

How are you doing today? I hope you are feeling better.

[KittenMoon]

I didn't sleep at all last night, so I called in sick today. Which makes me feel horrible, cause I never do that. But I woke up this morning after maybe 2-3hrs of restless sleep, I had a headache, and my eyes were so puffy.... I'm just a mess.

 

I still feel awful. Probably have another cry or two today.

 

Y'know, even though were were together for over six years, I never thought it would be this hard to erase him from my head and my heart... if I could forget everythign we ever shared, I probably would.

[magichands]

Y'know, even though were were together for over six years, I never thought it would be this hard to erase him from my head and my heart... if I could forget everythign we ever shared, I probably would.

I don't think you mean that.

 

It sucks, but you probably won't be able to put it aside until you find someone else. It's a matter of just trying to not let it dominate your thoughts all the time. But I'm not there yet, so maybe it will never happen, haha.

 

Anyway, you can always go celebrate some super-cheesy marriage "proposal" on another thread. Maybe it's one step up from sending an email with a Cc: to all your mates, but I haven't given it that much thought. If you want my opinion (and I realise that nobody does), it's thinly-veiled narcissism. Attention seeking.

 

Why even mention this?? Well, because I think you're pretty much the same - just on the other side of the spectrum (ie not always "up yourself" all the time, but always "why me?"...haha).

[Adunaphel]

I didn't sleep at all last night, so I called in sick today. Which makes me feel horrible, cause I never do that. But I woke up this morning after maybe 2-3hrs of restless sleep, I had a headache, and my eyes were so puffy.... I'm just a mess.

 

Sorry to know that you had a such a bad night.

Please do not feel horrible - you said yourself that you do not usually take days off work, so why feel guilty?? You needed it.

 

I still feel awful. Probably have another cry or two today.

 

Crying can sometimes be a good thing. It is a way like another to let out stress, or frustration (or many other unpleasant feelings).

 

[hugs]

 

Y'know, even though were were together for over six years, I never thought it would be this hard to erase him from my head and my heart... if I could forget everythign we ever shared, I probably would.

 

This sounds awfully like a catchphrase, but you just need time.

It would be great if you erased yesterday's episode, though.

 

Concentrate on the fact that you were doing fine before you saw him unexpectedly. Which I think is what really counts.

[Adunaphel]

 

Anyway, you can always go celebrate some super-cheesy marriage "proposal" on another thread. Maybe it's one step up from sending an email with a Cc: to all your mates, but I haven't given it that much thought. If you want my opinion (and I realise that nobody does), it's thinly-veiled narcissism. Attention seeking.

 

MH is trying to to get B4R to propose to him. :lmao:

 

It sucks, but you probably won't be able to put it aside until you find someone else. It's a matter of just trying to not let it dominate your thoughts all the time.

 

I think he is probably right.

Getting even slightly interested in someone else might be of great help.

I'm all for distractions.

Are there any interesting, or just fanciable, guys around?

[KittenMoon]

 

Concentrate on the fact that you were doing fine before you saw him unexpectedly. Which I think is what really counts.

 

Actually, that wasn't the worst part. I accidentaly found out some other stuff yesterday about him, and what it basically boils down to is that he's suddenly turned into this social, travelling person. This after I spent so long trying to get him interested in more social activities, get him to meet new people, get him to go travelling with me, etc.

 

It makes me feel like he's turned into exactly the person I wanted, and all it took was pushing me completely out of his life. I can't help that think that even with everything I tried to do to draw him out, make him less work obsessed.... it was all my fault. Or something.