Need a little support today

[KittenMoon]

I think he is probably right.

Getting even slightly interested in someone else might be of great help.

I'm all for distractions.

Are there any interesting, or just fanciable, guys around?

 

I just don't have any interest in anyone else. I try, but I just don't.

[magichands]

it was all my fault.

Go do the test, and I'll tell you.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t103544/

[magichands]

I just don't have any interest in anyone else. I try, but I just don't.

I thought you said you were uber-horny??!! What gives?

[KittenMoon]

Go do the test, and I'll tell you.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t103544/

 

I'm a O84-C89-E48-A44-N71.

 

I don't really know what that means.

[KittenMoon]

I thought you said you were uber-horny??!! What gives?

 

And I said I don't want to have sex with just anyone. I've only ever had sex with someone I love. It's not easy to go from love to like and be ready to invite that person into your body.

[magichands]

I'm a O84-C89-E48-A44-N71.

 

I don't really know what that means.

Me neither, sorry. You seem normal enough. Has it occurred to you that your ex might be the way he is today (the new and improved him) precisely because of those experiences with you. Or not.

 

The time has come to stop worrying so much about his life, or why you're not getting the benefits of the "improvements" (I thought you said that you didn't want him back now??!!).

 

What about your life? What are you doing with yourself? Or is it practically over already? Sh*t, you're just a baby.

[magichands]

I've only ever had sex with someone I love.

I understand that.

 

So if you're horny...don't you think about the object of your horniness??!! Please tell. Or do you only have fantasies about people you love?

[KittenMoon]

Me neither, sorry. You seem normal enough. Has it occurred to you that your ex might be the way he is today (the new and improved him) precisely because of those experiences with you. Or not.

 

It really hurts to see him doing all the things I always tried to get him to do. It hurts, a lot. I don't whether or not it has anything to do with me, but it does give me this horrible feeling of being the "first pancake". Y'know, the one you screw up and toss away.

 

What about your life? What are you doing with yourself? Or is it practically over already? Sh*t, you're just a baby.

 

I'm doing a lot with myself, and no, my life is not over. But I definitely have not regained the happy feeling I used to have, which makes it even harder not to think of when I did have that happy feeling and why.

[KittenMoon]

I understand that.

 

So if you're horny...don't you think about the object of your horniness??!! Please tell. Or do you only have fantasies about people you love?

 

Oh please no, I never fantasize about him, even when I was with him. Fantasies are fun cause you can make it perfect, but they are just fantasies, and they don't make up for real contact and affection.

 

In a nutshell- I'm not going to have the same fun all by my lonesome.

[magichands]

It really hurts to see him doing all the things I always tried to get him to do. It hurts, a lot. I don't whether or not it has anything to do with me, but it does give me this horrible feeling of being the "first pancake". Y'know, the one you screw up and toss away.

That's just plain jealousy. If you care about him, then you'd be happy.

 

Just take it as a sign that you weren't good together. He might have been perfect for you, but love is a two-way street. And that's not saying anything about you as an individual. Nothing at all.

[KittenMoon]

That's just plain jealousy. If you care about him, then you'd be happy.

 

Just take it as a sign that you weren't good together. He might have been perfect for you, but love is a two-way street. And that's not saying anything about you as an individual. Nothing at all.

 

Do you know how hard this is to get yourself to believe after a guy spends years trying to get you to marry him?

[magichands]

Do you know how hard this is to get yourself to believe after a guy spends years trying to get you to marry him?

I don't see what more evidence you need!?

 

So you made a mistake. So you were the one in control, and then you realised that the "invitation" wasn't open-ended. Welcome to the real world.

 

You must not have been sure for a reason.

 

Anyway, best look on it as a mistake not made even worse. He sounds pretty sure that he doesn't want you back...now.

[Sand&Water]

RE:

Do you know how hard this is to get yourself to believe after a guy spends years trying to get you to marry him?

Perhaps, he gave up on the idea of marrying you.

 

He constantly, tried, to budge your behaviours, dreams, and thoughts towards a satisfactory medium for himself.

 

Magichands, you are confusing her.

 

KittenMoon, the break-up, was eventual. He needed space, and different-edge-of-time to encounter the flip side of life [. . . the clear voice within him, to understand his place in the world].

 

The time, you are doing alone, is and will make you stronger. It is not, only you, to blame.

 

The day, will come, when you finally realize the time you spent with him [6 years] was treasurable and exceptional. No one, else, can take away that memory.

 

No one can, even, attempt to understand or relate to the memories you had with him. Let, the idea of him, rest in peace.

 

It is the beginning for you. Not the end.

 

Take Care,

Sand&Water

[lindya]

That's just plain jealousy. If you care about him, then you'd be happy.

 

One can't reasonably expect Kitten Moon to feel delighted about her exbf now doing all the things he wouldn't do when he was with her. Experiencing painful emotions like hurt, anger and jealousy don't mean she didn't/doesn't care about her exbf. They mean that she's a human being who's going through a shedload of pain after breaking up from someone she's spent the last six years with.

 

It sounds as though today's been particularly rough day for you Kitten Moon. I hope you feel a bit better by tomorrow.

[KittenMoon]

RE:

Magichands, you are confusing her.

 

Yes.

 

RE:

 

Perhaps, he gave up on the idea of marrying you.

 

He constantly, tried, to budge your behaviours, dreams, and thoughts towards a satisfactory medium for himself.

 

It just sucks because by the time I was interested in settling down, thins started to unravel.

 

It is the beginning for you. Not the end.

 

I don't think about anything being the end at all. I guess I'm just really reminded of all the pain that comes with losing someone you really, truly cared the world for. I know there's so many factors, I could have married him but it never felt right, etc etc. I just thought I was so much closer to a resolution in my head than it feels right now.

 

Or maybe this is just the last outpouring. I don't know.

 

It doesn't help I have a wicked headache, PMS, and I'm runnning on little sleep- logically I know this is making me feel about 10X worse than I should..... but stupid logic always seems to lose out to emotions.

[magichands]

Magichands, you are confusing her.

Thanks! But...

KittenMoon, the break-up, was eventual. He needed space, and different-edge-of-time to encounter the flip side of life [. . . the clear voice within him, to understand his place in the world].

I bow to the real talent.

[magichands]

One can't reasonably expect Kitten Moon to feel delighted about her exbf now doing all the things he wouldn't do when he was with her. Experiencing painful emotions like hurt, anger and jealousy don't mean she didn't/doesn't care about her exbf. They mean that she's a human being who's going through a shedload of pain after breaking up from someone she's spent the last six years with.

I'm not sure that I expect her to be jumping with joy. But this?

It really hurts to see him doing all the things I always tried to get him to do. It hurts, a lot.

I gave up thinking that I was the centre of the universe a while ago now.

[KittenMoon]

 

KittenMoon, the break-up, was eventual. He needed space, and different-edge-of-time to encounter the flip side of life [. . . the clear voice within him, to understand his place in the world].

 

I know this, I know it firsthand. Heck I make myself go back and read all my journal entries about wanting to be alone, experience life more, etc etc.

 

I guess I never expected "alone" to feel so "alone".

[magichands]

Yes.

Time for me to get the hell out of this thread. Good luck, KittenMoon.

[KittenMoon]

I'm not sure that I expect her to be jumping with joy. But this?

 

Like i said... is being amplified greatly by stress and PMS and fatigue. I'm just a little overwhelmed. Too many hits in one day.

 

I am sure I'll feel a lot better in a few days, right now, I just have to deal with feeling like hell.

[KittenMoon]

Time for me to get the hell out of this thread. Good luck, KittenMoon.

 

You're not confusing me too much, not really. LIke I said, I'm just overwhelmed and need to talk it out a bit.

[KittenMoon]

Alright, I'm just going to apologize.

 

I know I'm over-reacting to this by a lot. I had a few tough days and they led up to a really really bad day where all this stuff about my ex (not to mention seeing him) hit like a tsunami and totally obliterated me.

 

I know I'm not thinking logically, and it might take me a few days to get back to that point. I just wanted to thank people for listening and responding, even I'm probably someone who shoudl be way past this by now.

 

I wanted everyone to know I HAVE been doing a lot better, noted by my therapist even, and we both know that even though I'm clinging emtionally for some reason, I do realize the chance of things ever working with my ex are slim to none. Obviously, I can't say my heart doesn't want back what I had, but my head knows a lot has changed, both with him and very much with me.

 

So maybe my point is to people who are newer than me here- things may stay hard for a very long time. It doesn't mean they aren't getting better, it just means they may not get better at the pace you want. And there may be more than a few setbacks, this whole thread is a wonderful case in point. I guess putting the past behind is a whole lot harder than I thought.

 

I know it will happen someday, but I guess that day isn't today.

 

Thanks for listening, all. I guess there's not much more to say in this thread.

[Ariadne]

ACK!

 

She drives his car and goes grocery shopping with him?!

 

(Ok, see you guys what I mean about doing surveillance with the binoculars?)

 

I have to run now,

 

Ariadne

[KittenMoon]

ACK!

 

She drives his car and goes grocery shopping with him?!

 

(Ok, see you guys what I mean about doing surveillance with the binoculars?)

 

I have to run now,

 

Ariadne

 

Hey! I was not stalking!!!!!! Don't even compare it Ariadne. This was a legit accidental run-in.

 

I'm chalking up her driving the car to him probably eating- which he did with me all the time except he drove and ate at the same time.... that's safe driving for ya.

 

And on a last note, I got my period, so hopefully this will relieve some stress.

[alphamale]

how you feeling today KM? any better? do you want me to say something nice to make you feel good?....hmm?