???I'm not sure???

[Guest]

Hello,

 

I just need a little help on a situation I'm in.

 

Ok, I am currently with a guy. I have been with him for a few months, things have been a little crappy at times, but majority of the time, it's great. I am very much in love with him and I think the world of him.

 

I also have a guy friend who I had lost contact with when I left school and went to University. I was friends with a few of the boys back at school, and all of them I would classify as my best friends. We did alot together.

 

Anyway, I was having a bit of a hard time with my boyfriend and decided to get back in contact with one of guys from school in particular...I had no intentions of making anything out of friendship further, I just wanted to see what he was up to and to clear my head from my boyfriend.

 

Although, I am starting to think that was a bad idea. Him and I started talking, he was still the same from high school, still funny, everything like that, and yes, those dreaded "feelings" started coming into play. I started to feel for him...

 

I continued to talk with him and just play it cool, act like I wasn't "into him", just continued how I was.

 

I asked him a few times if he would like to catch up, instead of always chatting on the phone. He said he would love to, but he has alot of study for certain exams and assessments for Uni. That's fine, I would arrange it for a weekend or something that suited him. I asked a few times more, but he was always "studying"...

 

The thing that's confusing me is he is making these excuses, but he has sent me text messages saying things like "I don't want to mess things up with your bf. I know for sure if you were to see me you would do something you regret....or I would do something silly....and I don't' do cheating.." and has even told me a couple of time that he "really misses seeing me and wish he could see me..."

 

WTF? I decided not to call him for a while. So I left it for a week.

 

There was a get-together I was going to on Saturday night and I messaged him asking if he would like to come, he once again, made the excuse that he had to study. I know these aren't excuses cos I know the exams he is doing are pretty major...but STILL!!

 

Anyway, by last night, I was so sick of thinking about him, having these dumb feelings for him that I knew I would never pursue that I sent him a message saying this...

 

"Hey, what's been happening? The get-together was a blast, a shame you couldn't make it. (his name), I guess what I'm trying to say here is that I don't want to be putting myself into a position that I would hurt myself later on. I dont' want to be wasting my time with you when I don't' need to be. It just feels like I am cos every single time I try to organize to see you, the same excuses come around. I understand about your exams and everything, I know that. Ha, maybe I should just take the hint, eh?"

 

And sent that to him. Did I word it wrong?

 

Anyway, he is doing that whole "come here come here, go away go away" thing to me, and I just want to save myself from ONE - getting too involved when I SHOULDN'T be and TWO - my feelings getting crushed.

 

I haven't heard from him since and I'm starting to wonder whether I came across too strong. I never hinted anything like this sort of thing to him while we were talking, and now I think I've screwed up.

 

With my boyfriend, things are getting sorta bad anyway. He has cheated on me several times, Which hurts, but life must go on. Things are progressing and getting better and I have let my guy friend know this. Maybe he just doesn't want to get in the way of our attempted improving? Maybe because I told him (guy friend) that I wanted to try and make things work with my bf that he doesn't get a clear message?

 

So what's this guy's deal? He likes me, he's into me, he wants to see me, yet he makes an excuse every time I organize it??

 

I'm hopeless with this guy business. Can anyone help me out?

[molimo140]

Your boyfriend has cheated on you a couple of timeS??? More than once? Uhh..not meaning to be mean here but get the hell out of that relationship. NO ONE who cheats is worth anything, regardless of how you feel about them. It shows they're insecure.

 

It sounds like this guy really likes you just he doesn't want to get in the way, as he knows you DO have a boyfriend. He's probably wrestling with his feelings, at times wanting to see you, at other times knowing it's a bad idea.

[Guest]

I know the cheating was bad, and we have sort of broke up a few times over it, but are now trying to make things work. We went to relationship counselling and all that sort of stuff, things are on a mend...for now.

 

Anyway, about this other guy. I don't know what the deal is.

 

He hasn't contacted me in any way since I sent him that message. I'm worried that I've scared him off...and that WASN'T my intentions. If you were a guy, would you be a little scared off by a message like that?

 

And another point. I am a little curious as to what he wanted out of me a well. I think his intentions to pursue me was for a FWB relationship or simply a sexually-based one. I don't think he's in it for the love...that's for sure! Lol

 

So what should I do? I would really like to get in contact with him, but also remain cool and back off for him....but it's killing me about the fact that he hasn't called or anything...I'm worried he's gone off me and even if that's so, I'd still like to remain friends!!

 

AHHH! What should I do?