A new girlfriend advice

[John]

I have been dating someone for about 2 months now. She is someone i work with. We will call her Jill. Jill was hitting on me at work several months ago and at the time i was seeing someone so i just flirted back a little. So, i eventually broke up with my girlfriend and waited to ask Jill out, did not want it to be a rebound thing. Jill is a very attractive women, and i told her i was indeed attracted to her. She would ask me to come over to her place and we would just hang out. I said i wanted to take things slow and she did not have a problem with that. Well we got to talking a bit and she said she wasnt looking for anything to happen between us but if it did great. She is very caring towards me and usually dosent want me to leave when i have to go. We did have sex about a month ago, it was great for the both of us. Jill now has some problems in her life and has become distant. She has been spending time with her friends, family etc. and i told her i dont want to take her away from that. We havent been together since sweetest day weekend. She has since told me that shes had a lot of things on her mind lately and she dosent want things to go too fast between us. Is this a good thing, she now wants something to happen between us? Jill also mentioned that this scares her a bit also. Should I just give her some time, or should i just continue the way i act towards her? I really want things to work between Jill and I.

 

Signed

 

Hopeful

[Totally Confused]

It sounds to me like she may be a little confused as to what she wants from the relationship. When someone really likes another, they don't back off - you wouldn't. When the heart is involved a person won't listen to their head, even if they're afraid of getting hurt. If you have to question this girls feelings for you, chances are she is not 100% into the relationship. When someone really loves or cares for you, you don't have to question it - you'll know it.

 

Sometimes a person will use excuses, such as, I have so many family problems or things that I'm going through right now. That's just a person's way of saying, I'm not sure what I want with you, could you back off a little until I know. That's not to say she couldn't fall for you, it just means, she uncertain at the moment.

 

What I suggest, is that you give her the time and space she is asking for. You don't know what's going on in her head, except for what she chooses to tell you. If she keeps backing away more and more, then you'll know that she's just not interested. If she starts responding to your backing off, then you'll know she likes you, but just wasn't certain at the time. When a person asks for space, always give it to them. They wouldn't be asking for it, if they didn't want it.

 

I hope it works out for the 2 of you. Good luck.