Meeting my ex fiance?

[chocolate_boy]

Ok just a quickie, I've been with my current gf for about 4 months now so it is still a new relationship, we were friends for a few months before hand and I'm very very much in love with her.

 

However I was engaged to a girl a few years ago, we split up 4 years ago and she's had a very serious relationship since that's been off and on, its off now actually.

 

The thing is I've had 3 girlfriends since this ex, but we were at uni together and have remained friends since we split up, nothing sexual has ever happened and I'm 100% certain she has no feelings left for me now (I know as I asked her back about 6 months after we split and got a flat out refusal).

 

Now we have met up once or twice a year since we split just to catch up, usually with other uni buddies too, we have always send xmas and birthday cards and talk on the phone ocassionally (maybe once every 3 or 4 months). Now she knows I'm in a relationship and I've told her how happy I am etc.

 

But my ex is planning on coming to my city for some xmas shopping later this month and wants to meet up with me. I don't feel I'm doing anything wrong, maybe I could ask my current GF how she feels but I don't want to say the wrong thing and upset her by suggesting there's something to feel guilty about.

 

It has been 4 years since we split and have both had other relationships since, is it wrong for me to meet up with an ex? I'm madly in love with my gf and seeing my ex is purely meeting up with an old friend. Is it better if maybe we meet with another friend or two?

[magichands]

I don't feel I'm doing anything wrong, maybe I could ask my current GF how she feels but I don't want to say the wrong thing and upset her by suggesting there's something to feel guilty about.

If you can't even mention it to your gf then stay the hell away.

[chocolate_boy]

My gf isn't really the jealous type, hell she has lots of guys who are into her and sms her and talk to her on msn a lot. She used to sleep in the same beds with them and then get confused when they came out and said they had feelings for her

 

She doesn't do that now that we're together, but still does have a few guys sms and calling her who she says are just friends but she has had a history with. Infact there is a 38 year old guy who is into her (she's 20) and the other day she got fitted for bra and sms him with her measurements! She saw nothing wrong with that and said it was cos it was funny, it made me feel bit uncomfortable though.

 

The point I'm making is she isn't a jealous person and ofter naively believes guys and girls can easily be platonic friends, so I don't know if she'd read anything into it... after all if she does that there should be no probs? I trust her 100% and know she does me too...

 

I could just ask her, but didn't want to if it is inappropriate.

[magichands]

I trust her 100% and know she does me too...

Nice try. Tell her you're going to lunch with your ex-fiance.

 

100% is a pretty big fraction.

[Wantingtogetitright]

does your current G/F know you two are still in touch? If she does why are you even questioning it? Surely the right answer he is, sure let's meet for a coffee, me and Jane (intsert G/F's name here) would love to catch up. This way even if Jane was 99% comfortable with you maintaining this contact it would be beneficial for her as well.

 

Jane sees that you have nothing to hide.

EX Fiance sees she has no chance

Only thing discussed at coffee is friendship based.

 

All walk away happy.

[a4a]

Ask the current gf to go to lunch with the ex and yourself so you can all be great friend forever and ever.