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Feeling ashamed


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Hello all! I was just wondering...has anyone ever gotten dumped by their boyfriend, only to find out much much later that he was actually gay?

 

Because my ex-boyfriend and I dated for almost a whole year and then he all of a sudden dropped me. He claimed he needed space and no relationship for a while. I recently found out that he has been dating a man for 2 months! What is up with that??

 

I am fine with the break up if he is gay, because I don't want that kind of relationship anyway, but he lied to me and kept me in the dark so long that I am feeling stupid and embarrassed for not knowing the truth and I feel like I should have seen through all of his secrets. Can I get an opinion?

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There's nothing to be ashamed about. He probably was trying to figure out his sexuality and didn't want to let you know in case he figured out that he was not gay after all.

 

You're not a mind-reader so there's no way you could have known.

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Well, first of all don't feel ashamed about it. At all. Probably easier to say than to do cause I've never been in your situation. I have heard of more marriages that have ended because one of the partners has (imo here) acknowledged their preference for the same sex (how's that for PC wording?)

If you x boyfriend has finally accepted that about himself, be happy for him. I can only imagine what a struggle it must be to deny that about yourself and I am one of those that believe that a person is born gay if they are (and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that). He not only had been lieing to you but also to himself. I'm sorry you are feeling bad but it's not anything to do with you and you have done nothing to be ashamed of.

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