Is it going to work? !

[Streetspirit]

Okay, I'll just spill the beans on what's going on with me right now and I'd like to thank you guys ahead of time for listening.

 

My girlfriend and I have been dating for 2 years now, our anniversary was on the 2nd. Our relationship was Long Distance but I moved to be with her about a year ago. In January, she moved in to get away from her parents but I wasn't quite ready for a step that big, However there was no way I could say no as I know that would've broken her heart. Needless to say, within a month or two of her moving in, I just started feeling empty inside and wanted nothing but distance. I wasn't happy but I really love this girl and I was sure it was just a phase and it would pass.

 

During that time, I have to admit I wasn't a very good boyfriend. I stopped showing her that I cared, doing things I used to do... things were just blah in the romance dept, but I still loved her very much and we were like best friends. I encouraged her to do things with friends, to be more social.. She used to cry and tell me how bad she felt, but I didn't know how to react... For some reason I just thought she was being clingy, and I felt empty inside. By July, I started getting over the slump and started to appreciate her more and more everyday.

 

In august, she told me she needed time apart, and wanted to see other people.. That's when I realized what I had been doing. Since then, I've done everything humanly possible to save us from breaking up. I felt and still do feel horrible for what I put her through. She put up walls, and A few weeks ago I found out she was "talking" with someone else. She didnt have any idea I knew and I held it inside. she even told me she was no longer "in love" with me. It felt like I was being stabbed in the chest.

 

Finally, after practically begging on my part, she agreed to give us another shot. Since then, I've tried to do everything I can to show her my true feelings. I've taken her on a trip to get away from things, left little presents, all sorts of things to show her how much I appreciate her, but I still got the cold shoulder from her. After weeks of this, me spilling my heart out to her.. I finally decided that it had to stop. I couldn't handle the treatment I was getting and told her to move out.. That was about a week ago.

 

Since I told her, she was really affectionate and things pretty much did a 180. But, I wanted her to show me that she was doing it for me and not to save her place to stay. A few days later, I asked her if she had found a roomate, and she mentioned her sister, and then that guy she was talking to. Hearing his name set something off in me and I told her that I knew about everything. She had a breakdown for about a half hour and I told her that even though I knew, I still loved her and I wanted to be with her. Our anniverslder.ary was last week and things have gone back to square 1.... I shower her with gifts and affection and I get the cold shoulder

 

I know this isn't the most accurate description of whats going on but I'm sure you guys will get the point. I really want stuff to work out but I can't just take this anymore... I can't do all the work trying to hold us together with nothing in return until she finally decides what she wants. I feel used. I feel responsible for starting this endless cycle and its driving me insane.

 

I just want to get over that "wave" in our relationship and go back to happy times. I was thinking of basically just giving her an ultamatum (sp?) ... forcing her to make a decision once more. Any advice is greatly appreciated.