love-what else

[cmcny78]

Okay, I am going to give you the readers digest version. I was going out with a man, 28 , for 7 months. I am 24, female, obvoiusly good head on my shoulders. I have been through realtionships and hard times. So, I give up a lot for this man. I quit my job and move an hour away from my family to be with him. Then things start to get really bad. He starts to go out evey night and flirts with all types of women when he thinks I am not looking. One night, he comes to me and tells me that he made a mistake. He cheated on me. He says that he was not in love with me anymore, which makes me feel sooooo much better (sarcastic) and then he tells me that he loves me, that he wants to change his whole life for me, and a week later, he asks me to move out. So, I do. And I move in with my friends who are male and female, but not a couple. I spend time with this man. and leaning on him, things have progressed to more than friends. Now he wants a relationship, but is respectful to my feeling about my x. And I still love my x. And I am so confused.....HELP!!!!!

[midori]

It's a mistake to start a new relationship when you haven't healed from the last one. Someone is bound to get hurt.

 

Moving to be with someone you've known for seven months is a bit hasty, don't you think? Well, live and learn. But for some reason what you've said seems a bit strange -- where are the boundaries in your life? You give up your job, move away from friends and family to be with a guy you haven't known for very long, and it turns out badly. Then you move in with someone who ends up falling for you; you're not head over heels about him yourself, in fact you're not over the last guy yet, but you're considering whether or not to get involved with your roommate anyway? Hm ... not only do I think it would be a bad idea to use guy #2 as a crutch, I think it's an especially bad idea to try that with a roommate.

 

Sounds to me like you need to find a new place to live, preferably without a man in either the roommate or boyfriend capacity. Get your own place, or just have a female roommate, so that you've got the space and time you need to get over guy #1 without muddying the waters with guys you don't really dig but who are handy for the moment. Otherwise you'll be in a pattern of having to move everytime you or your partner has a change of heart.

[Angel]

Sweetie,

 

It is real clear. Man #1 does not love you and you are not ready for Man #2 because you need time----not another man at this moment.

 

Don't keep in contact with the first guy, it'll just drive you nuts because you're still in love with him.

 

Good luck.

 

It's a mistake to start a new relationship when you haven't healed from the last one. Someone is bound to get hurt. Moving to be with someone you've known for seven months is a bit hasty, don't you think? Well, live and learn. But for some reason what you've said seems a bit strange -- where are the boundaries in your life? You give up your job, move away from friends and family to be with a guy you haven't known for very long, and it turns out badly. Then you move in with someone who ends up falling for you; you're not head over heels about him yourself, in fact you're not over the last guy yet, but you're considering whether or not to get involved with your roommate anyway? Hm ... not only do I think it would be a bad idea to use guy #2 as a crutch, I think it's an especially bad idea to try that with a roommate. Sounds to me like you need to find a new place to live, preferably without a man in either the roommate or boyfriend capacity. Get your own place, or just have a female roommate, so that you've got the space and time you need to get over guy #1 without muddying the waters with guys you don't really dig but who are handy for the moment. Otherwise you'll be in a pattern of having to move everytime you or your partner has a change of heart.