lyfelite Posted November 6, 2006 Share Posted November 6, 2006 How many people on here have normal happy or decent relationships with their MM or MW? I ask because when i'm on here reading the posts that people have places everyone seems to be a little bitter and annoyed. For the ones who have been bheated on well i understand why they are. But I'm just wondering how many women or men have a normal relationship with their other partner. Link to post Share on other sites
FlyingHigh Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 How many people on here have normal happy or decent relationships with their MM or MW? I ask because when i'm on here reading the posts that people have places everyone seems to be a little bitter and annoyed. For the ones who have been bheated on well i understand why they are. But I'm just wondering how many women or men have a normal relationship with their other partner. You're kidding! How many cheaters think it's normal to cheat with a MM or MW? If cheaters think it's "normal" they might wanna reassess their conscience or look at themselves if they find it rewarding and an accomplishment to cheat with someone else's husband or wife. Go ahead, cheaters, take a close look at yourself in the mirror. And if you can look at yourself without any guilt or regret, then the happiness you feel "normal" is short lived...when your sexual/emotional gratification is satisfied by your MM/MW with a time limit. What "normal" happiness do you find or are you left with when your MM/MW must leave and return to his/her wife/husband and family. Emptiness, isn't? Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 FlyingHigh, you have not enabled your PM... Link to post Share on other sites
only1life Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 I'm guessing that anyone who is actively cheating and thinks it is normal, won't be looking around on the web for a help site like this. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 I'm guessing that anyone who is actively cheating and thinks it is normal, won't be looking around on the web for a help site like this. I beg to differ... there have been many posters here on LS who are here to mainly give good advice, to lead folks in a good direction. Take Curmudgeon for example! I loved reading C=Lion's posts. He was upbeat and encouraging! He is happy in his marriage and a good family man. I miss his input.... :( Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 How many people on here have normal happy or decent relationships with their MM or MW? I ask because when i'm on here reading the posts that people have places everyone seems to be a little bitter and annoyed. For the ones who have been bheated on well i understand why they are. But I'm just wondering how many women or men have a normal relationship with their other partner. Normal, happy and most of all decent are not words that should be associated with affairs. Affairs are secret, destructive, painful and deceitful at best. Unless of course the person that is happy about the affair is a selfish *********. Link to post Share on other sites
only1life Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 I beg to differ... there have been many posters here on LS who are here to mainly give good advice, to lead folks in a good direction. Take Curmudgeon for example! I loved reading C=Lion's posts. He was upbeat and encouraging! He is happy in his marriage and a good family man. I miss his input.... :( OK, I could be wrong, has happened before! But is C=Lion actively cheating and feeling normal about it? I've been reading here for a long while, and it seems that while some people are here just to help with a little advice, they usually haven't admitted to be cheaters who feel it is normal. And I know a lot more of us came here to get a little help cause we weren't feeling normal at all! OK, back to my now normal but not cheating life! (Hope!) Link to post Share on other sites
shortnsassy Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 How many people on here have normal happy or decent relationships with their MM or MW? I ask because when i'm on here reading the posts that people have places everyone seems to be a little bitter and annoyed. For the ones who have been bheated on well i understand why they are. But I'm just wondering how many women or men have a normal relationship with their other partner. There is no such thing as a normal affair. Link to post Share on other sites
stockmos Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 What is "normal" is a huge question in itself but I am sure that many people have "happy or decent relationships with their MM or MW". This is only set to happen when an affair situation suits the OW/OM and the cheater and they are happy with the status quo. This may happen when the OW/OM is perhaps older, being widowed or divorced and wants to remain single but is happy to have a lady/man "friend". If both parties are content with the situation they may even form an agreement/arrangement (e.g. see each other every other Wednesday and so on) that could last for years or even until one dies (I even know of one such circumstance). In such cases the pair may also take great care to keep the affair secret, thus preserving the status quo. The married/partnered person in the affair carries on in their relationship with their spouse, which could be anything from good to a shell marriage. The spouse may be oblivious to the affair, suspect it or even know about it and put up with it. A similar situation could also occur with younger (or even older) people, where the OW/OM is happy to have an affair until they find a "proper" partner. They could have just come out of a relationship, not want a committed relationship, or even be actively seeking to find a partner but are happy to have an affair in the meantime, especially as it may provide them with a means to have sex while they are "between" relationships. Again, this depends on both parties being in agreement, but it may well work if the cheater also fully accepts that the relationship is probably only going to have a limited shelf life. As only1life points out, such people are far less likely to come looking on a help/advice site, as they are not looking for help or advice. Link to post Share on other sites
peacelove Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 There is no such thing as a normal affair. Affairs are abnormal. Link to post Share on other sites
rina_r Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 How many people on here have normal happy or decent relationships with their MM or MW? I ask because when i'm on here reading the posts that people have places everyone seems to be a little bitter and annoyed. For the ones who have been bheated on well i understand why they are. But I'm just wondering how many women or men have a normal relationship with their other partner. People who are happy, do not go to forums. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lyfelite Posted November 14, 2006 Author Share Posted November 14, 2006 What is "normal" is a huge question in itself but I am sure that many people have "happy or decent relationships with their MM or MW". This is only set to happen when an affair situation suits the OW/OM and the cheater and they are happy with the status quo. This may happen when the OW/OM is perhaps older, being widowed or divorced and wants to remain single but is happy to have a lady/man "friend". If both parties are content with the situation they may even form an agreement/arrangement (e.g. see each other every other Wednesday and so on) that could last for years or even until one dies (I even know of one such circumstance). In such cases the pair may also take great care to keep the affair secret, thus preserving the status quo. The married/partnered person in the affair carries on in their relationship with their spouse, which could be anything from good to a shell marriage. The spouse may be oblivious to the affair, suspect it or even know about it and put up with it. A similar situation could also occur with younger (or even older) people, where the OW/OM is happy to have an affair until they find a "proper" partner. They could have just come out of a relationship, not want a committed relationship, or even be actively seeking to find a partner but are happy to have an affair in the meantime, especially as it may provide them with a means to have sex while they are "between" relationships. Again, this depends on both parties being in agreement, but it may well work if the cheater also fully accepts that the relationship is probably only going to have a limited shelf life. As only1life points out, such people are far less likely to come looking on a help/advice site, as they are not looking for help or advice. Stockmos, I agree with most of what your saying. As for the others who commented. I wasn't really looking for advice on my affair. Because as stockmos pointed out some people in affairs are all about keeping the status quo and I guess I fall into that category. And now I see why there are no relatively "happy" or "normal" people writing on this thread. I began the question as I had been reading a book on the whole idea of shadow marriages, those are affairs that have the same principles of the married partners marriage. I found it facinating, and wondered how many other out there had something of this nature. That concept along with reading all the particular angry and bitter postings made me go man, how many people out there are just getting alng perfectly fine with their MM or MW... Of course judging by the post responses, this is not a concept anyone on this site is willing to embrace as a possibility. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 16, 2006 Share Posted November 16, 2006 Lyfelite, Can you please give me more information on shadow marraiges and the book that you read. Also, can anyone please tell me why I log in and it welcomes me but I can't post as my log in? I've been reading for months here and tried once before to reply but the same thing happened. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lyfelite Posted November 17, 2006 Author Share Posted November 17, 2006 Lyfelite, Can you please give me more information on shadow marraiges and the book that you read. Also, can anyone please tell me why I log in and it welcomes me but I can't post as my log in? I've been reading for months here and tried once before to reply but the same thing happened. Hi ! And the books are as follows, The Myth of Monogamy by Judith Eve Lipton The 50 Mile Rule by Judith Brandt-- this one talks about shawdow marriages just a little bit. Secrete Lovers: Affairs Happen... How to Cope by Dr. Luann Linquist Those are the Three I've looked at so far. Link to post Share on other sites
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