I want my ex-girlfriend back...

[pjammer]

Funny you should mention that, my EX said the same thing. She kept saying "You never know what the future may hold", and I heard that quite often. Now after the 3 months N/C she want me back, but she is still in a relationship with this other guy. I think people that are in affairs and cheating use this kind of trick to keep their EX hanging on just in case. In fact, I am very sure of it.

Well I do know for a fact that she isnt seeing anyone. Right after the break-up, I talked with a few of her friends, some of which I had become friends with. They all told me that there wasnt anyone, as she has told me that herself as well. They just said that she wanted to be left alone right now. And I am sure I would have seen some kind of a sign if she was with someone else while we were together. Plus, she is really a nice and honest person, and she knows that I was cheated on in a previous relationship, and I dont think she would do the same to me.

[Rooster_DAR]

Well I do know for a fact that she isnt seeing anyone. Right after the break-up, I talked with a few of her friends, some of which I had become friends with. They all told me that there wasnt anyone, as she has told me that herself as well. They just said that she wanted to be left alone right now. And I am sure I would have seen some kind of a sign if she was with someone else while we were together. Plus, she is really a nice and honest person, and she knows that I was cheated on in a previous relationship, and I dont think she would do the same to me.

 

Great! I hope that's true. Maybe she just needs time to sort out her feeling, I hear this happens quite often. One of my good friends went through this with his wife, and after a little over a year they are back together and happier than ever. It' seems the time apart sometimes makes two people really decide if they want to be together or not.

 

Regards,

[pjammer]

Great! I hope that's true. Maybe she just needs time to sort out her feeling, I hear this happens quite often. One of my good friends went through this with his wife, and after a little over a year they are back together and happier than ever. It' seems the time apart sometimes makes two people really decide if they want to be together or not.

 

Regards,

Well unfortunately, she's not my wife. That type of bond is obviously different than bf/gf status. Although, the thinking involved is the same I guess. And I know for a fact that we can be even stronger and closer than before since this break-up WAS because of me. I am working on EVERYTHING I did wrong, and I have controlled it thus far, and feel as though I am making great progress. I will just have to continue to take it day by day, and wait it out for about another month. Best case, she gets in contact with me in that time. If not, I am going to call her. But right now I am worrying about myself, starting my first full-time job, and visiting my dad in the hospital.

[Guest]

PJ,

I admire the fact that you're working on things with a counselor. Not a lot of guys would do this. I think everyone at some point should do this for their relationships since we all get it wrong at some point or another, usually do to much baggage.

 

I think there is much to be gained from counselling. They can often explain things in a more rational way and are independent from you unlike friends and family who often just say what they think you want to hear. My ex broke up with me as she was having serious issues with her business, personal money issues and not really feeling that she had got over her ex. We were very happy together, but I think its not uncommon to have guilt feelings for the ex when you start feeling happy in a new relationship. Add to that the other issues it is quite easy to enter a state of depression. This is what I think my ex is suffering from, and have suggested she talked to someone about it. I will stay friends with her and see her from time to time, and we will just see how it goes. We may never get back together, but we may end up being good or best friends.

 

If you do contact her, just be yourself. Don't be negative, over confident, or mushy, or talk about the relationship. DO NOT send the poem or CD, unless you do want to chase her away. If you meet, look good, have a smile and just be yourself.

 

I know it ain't easy. I am not a total advocate of NC, if you want a second chance, but certainly Limited Contact (LC). You never know what will happen, but in the meantime, just get on with your life, keep busy, then at least if you do meet up you will have something interesting to say.

[pjammer]

I think there is much to be gained from counselling. They can often explain things in a more rational way and are independent from you unlike friends and family who often just say what they think you want to hear. My ex broke up with me as she was having serious issues with her business, personal money issues and not really feeling that she had got over her ex. We were very happy together, but I think its not uncommon to have guilt feelings for the ex when you start feeling happy in a new relationship. Add to that the other issues it is quite easy to enter a state of depression. This is what I think my ex is suffering from, and have suggested she talked to someone about it. I will stay friends with her and see her from time to time, and we will just see how it goes. We may never get back together, but we may end up being good or best friends.

 

If you do contact her, just be yourself. Don't be negative, over confident, or mushy, or talk about the relationship. DO NOT send the poem or CD, unless you do want to chase her away. If you meet, look good, have a smile and just be yourself.

 

I know it ain't easy. I am not a total advocate of NC, if you want a second chance, but certainly Limited Contact (LC). You never know what will happen, but in the meantime, just get on with your life, keep busy, then at least if you do meet up you will have something interesting to say.

What would LC entail? Like I had said in one of my previous posts, I stopped calling/emailing her about 2 weeks ago because her girlfriend (and my friend) said that she just wanted to be alone. So I figure I will give her what she wants. I am going to EVENTUALLY give her the CD and the poem (which I have recently written inside a scrapbook that I was going to give her on Xmas or our 1st anniversary - it has every single great memory I have of her that I had been working on throughout or relationship. The little things mean a lot to her, and this was going to be my way of showing her that I knew that, appreciated it, and that I love doing the small things for her). I am going to get in touch with her in early December (which will be about 1+ month of NC) and ask if she wants to get together.

 

I am just going to be myself, all over again. Except for the fact that I have lost 15-20 pounds since their whole ordeal happened 5-6 weeks ago from not eating and recently getting back into exercising everyday. I am completely determined not to give up on her, and show her [somehow] that I have realized my problems/mistakes, Im fixing them, and I am an even better person than I was when she met me.

[Guest]

What would LC entail? Like I had said in one of my previous posts, I stopped calling/emailing her about 2 weeks ago because her girlfriend (and my friend) said that she just wanted to be alone. So I figure I will give her what she wants. I am going to EVENTUALLY give her the CD and the poem (which I have recently written inside a scrapbook that I was going to give her on Xmas or our 1st anniversary - it has every single great memory I have of her that I had been working on throughout or relationship. The little things mean a lot to her, and this was going to be my way of showing her that I knew that, appreciated it, and that I love doing the small things for her). I am going to get in touch with her in early December (which will be about 1+ month of NC) and ask if she wants to get together.

 

I am just going to be myself, all over again. Except for the fact that I have lost 15-20 pounds since their whole ordeal happened 5-6 weeks ago from not eating and recently getting back into exercising everyday. I am completely determined not to give up on her, and show her [somehow] that I have realized my problems/mistakes, Im fixing them, and I am an even better person than I was when she met me.

 

By LC I mean if she contacts you for whatever reason, maybe you should respond. But its up to you to judge how she, and you, would feel. If its her birthday, maybe send her a card, nothing soppy. at the end of the day you cannot change her mind, only she can, and that maybe for a variety of reasons and any length of time.

 

Unfortunately there are two conflicting phrases:

"absense makes the heart grow fonder"

"out of sight out of mind"

 

So there is no magic answer; you have to go with your feelings and what you know of her. Sometimes there are other things are going on in someones life at the time and they just feel claustrophobic being in a relationship, and feel cutting ties is the best way to help deal with the other issues.

 

You were happy together and she changed her views on how she feels, there is not guarantee that overtime she may not change her mind again. By that stage it would be up to you to decide if you would get back with her.

 

For now just get on with yourself and and don't wait for her.

Good luck

[pjammer]

By LC I mean if she contacts you for whatever reason, maybe you should respond. But its up to you to judge how she, and you, would feel. If its her birthday, maybe send her a card, nothing soppy. at the end of the day you cannot change her mind, only she can, and that maybe for a variety of reasons and any length of time.

 

Unfortunately there are two conflicting phrases:

"absense makes the heart grow fonder"

"out of sight out of mind"

 

So there is no magic answer; you have to go with your feelings and what you know of her. Sometimes there are other things are going on in someones life at the time and they just feel claustrophobic being in a relationship, and feel cutting ties is the best way to help deal with the other issues.

 

You were happy together and she changed her views on how she feels, there is not guarantee that overtime she may not change her mind again. By that stage it would be up to you to decide if you would get back with her.

 

For now just get on with yourself and and don't wait for her.

Good luck

I know what you are saying, and ive said it before, but she means absolutely everything to me. It has been so hard to keep in NC for these past 2 weeks. Actually, yesterday was the first day I didnt show emotion or cry over her, but I still thought about her all day long. Personally, I dont even know if NC will help anything. I guess it just gives her time to "miss me" and think about the situation. I dont think she would NEVER talk to me again because the things I did do not entail that. We were just so close and now so far away it just kills me everyday. But I guess I have to keep doing what is best for myself right now...

[Kamille]

Pjammer

 

I think you are on the right track working on yourself and doing things for yourself.

 

I believe though, that the reason you want to send her the poem, scrapbook and cd has more to do with you then it has to do with her. You want her to recognize that you have changed. (You want to prove to her that you have changed). You changed thanks to her and what you learned from being with her, but remember that you didn't change because of her. You changed because you wanted to. And whether she comes back to you or not, what you are experiencing right now, and the work you are doing, will be beneficial to you forever. It would just be nice, almost only fair, if she were the one to benefit from it, that I understand.

 

You've mentioned that you held back the truth and that you feel terrible about it. It sounds like she needs to forgive you about this, but have you forgiven yourself? Maturity is taking responsibility for your actions and your own self. Don't approach her from a position of guilt, remorse and regret. Forgive yourself, take responsiblity for having made a mistake and then hope that in time she will forgive you. Only once you have forgiven yourself will you be able to truly accept her forgiveness anyways.

 

I don't know when and how it will be right for you to ask for a second chance but I do believe you will get your second chance. Maybe faith will do the work for you and you two will run into each other somewhere down the line. Maybe you will have to approach her when you feel it is appropriate. Just believe you will know when to do the right thing. And make sure you feel great about yourself when you do and that you approach her because of the love that you two had, not because of the mistakes you made. In other words: be strong.

[pjammer]

Pjammer

 

I think you are on the right track working on yourself and doing things for yourself.

 

I believe though, that the reason you want to send her the poem, scrapbook and cd has more to do with you then it has to do with her. You want her to recognize that you have changed. (You want to prove to her that you have changed). You changed thanks to her and what you learned from being with her, but remember that you didn't change because of her. You changed because you wanted to. And whether she comes back to you or not, what you are experiencing right now, and the work you are doing, will be beneficial to you forever. It would just be nice, almost only fair, if she were the one to benefit from it, that I understand.

 

You've mentioned that you held back the truth and that you feel terrible about it. It sounds like she needs to forgive you about this, but have you forgiven yourself? Maturity is taking responsibility for your actions and your own self. Don't approach her from a position of guilt, remorse and regret. Forgive yourself, take responsiblity for having made a mistake and then hope that in time she will forgive you. Only once you have forgiven yourself will you be able to truly accept her forgiveness anyways.

 

I don't know when and how it will be right for you to ask for a second chance but I do believe you will get your second chance. Maybe faith will do the work for you and you two will run into each other somewhere down the line. Maybe you will have to approach her when you feel it is appropriate. Just believe you will know when to do the right thing. And make sure you feel great about yourself when you do and that you approach her because of the love that you two had, not because of the mistakes you made. In other words: be strong.

Very strong and kind words, thank you. To be honest, I DONT think I have 'forgiven' myself. I have realized what I did, and I am doing anything possible to make up for it. But I really dont know if I can forgive myself. I still feel awful for what I did, even though I dont think it was that extreme. Like Ive said numerous times, I didnt (and wouldnt) cheat on her because I know what that feels like. I would never be abusive or even talk bad about her either - thats just not in my nature. But as for forgiving myself, I dont know. Ive learned from what I did, so I guess I will eventually forgive myself. But I am even stronger than before, and all I want is for her to see that, and I dont know how to show her.

 

I am doing everything possible to improve myself, control my emotions, and just be a better person - the person I was when she met me. I really hope that you are right when you say that she will forgive me and give me the benefit of the doubt because I really think I (and we in our relationship) deserve it. I am completely committed, devoted, and faithfull to her in every way. I just want her to see that. I know it wont be easy to get her back, but I know that I love her, and I will never give up.

 

As for the things I want to give her, yes, it is partly about me, but I also want to do it for her. And the whole 'scrapbook' idea is not something I just started on. I have been writing down all the good times/memories we shared throughout our relationship, but I just recently began writing them into a single book. I have anything from the concerts we went to, the trips we went on, and even the times we spent with her family in there. I know how much her family means to her (her mom died when she was just 16, and she is so close with her sisters/dad/nephews, etc.). I, on the other hand, dont have much family - no siblings - it is pretty much me and my parents. So I loved the time I got to spend with her family, and they welcomed me in so well.

 

I feel that I have to contact her as the holiday season is approaching. Like Ive said before, I am still going to be in NC until early December, then I am going to call her (if she hasnt called me before then) and ask to just go out to dinner after she gets off work one day (about 45 mins from where we both live). I am going to try and do my best to show that I am happy, and try not to talk about our relationship unless she brings it up first. That is, if she even agrees to it.

 

And I am being strong, and I do feel better about myself. I got a full-time job, Im getting back into tennis (which I love), and I have been going out with friends. But I feel that there will always be a void in my life if she doesnt give our relationship another chance. We both have told each other that we have never felt this way about someone else. And she told me that no other boyfriend she has had (and she is 31, mind you) did a lot of the things I did for her. And to me, that is very dissapointing because she deserves it. I love her with all of my heart, and I just hope I get that chance to really show her that...

[pjammer]

Is there anything else that I can do right now?

[Kamille]

Is there anything else that I can do right now?

 

Keep getting better.

 

Make sure you get to a point where you know that when you do approach her for a second chance, you can handle her answers, whatever they may be. Meaning, make sure you're back on your feet, happy and strong enough to know that life can go on without her. It would just be richer with her.

 

And be patient with this process. I would say approach her only once you don't get that restless feeling anymore when thinking of her. You'll get there.

 

Good luck! You're going to make one woman very happy one day; you're such a romantic!

[pjammer]

Good luck! You're going to make one woman very happy one day; you're such a romantic!

To be honest, I dont want anyone else but her...I screwed up, and I want another chance, and I think I deserve it. But right now, it is so damn hard to not talk to her each day. The days of NC are just dragging out, and even though it has only been like 2 weeks of NC, it feels like I havent talked to her in months. I am trying to get better, but then I think about her, and get upset.

[Kamille]

To be honest, I dont want anyone else but her...I screwed up, and I want another chance, and I think I deserve it. But right now, it is so damn hard to not talk to her each day. The days of NC are just dragging out, and even though it has only been like 2 weeks of NC, it feels like I havent talked to her in months. I am trying to get better, but then I think about her, and get upset.

 

Here 's some tough love pj: this means you're not ready to approach her. Doesn't she deserve to be approached by the best you? the you that's got his act together?

 

I know right now you feel like you'll never want anyone but her. It's obvious this woman has had a tremendous impact on your life. It seems like she made you become aware of all that you can be. And for this I think you'll always be thankful, whether or not it works out.

 

You're in a tough position right now because you need to find peace of mind about the situation to even be able to consider getting a second chance. Findind peace of mind means finding ways to let go and accept that even though we have no control over life, things happen for a reason (if only because we only live once and we have to make the most of it).

 

And maybe this even means that you have to accept that it's over.

 

good luck pj! and it will get easier.

[Kamille]

that said. i'm glad to know you think you deserve a second chance.

 

I don't know what you did but it sounds like you do deserve a second chance and you have to believe you deserve and approach her with the confidence that you deserve it.

 

And don't forget that she probably needs time to heal on her side too. I know I eventually always get to a point when I remember the good things and the good times I had with a guy. You probably don't want to approach her when she's still upset about what you did. Or are you sure she is still upset about what you did? Before NC what was her take on the situation? Did she give hints that she was healing?

[pjammer]

And don't forget that she probably needs time to heal on her side too. I know I eventually always get to a point when I remember the good things and the good times I had with a guy. You probably don't want to approach her when she's still upset about what you did. Or are you sure she is still upset about what you did? Before NC what was her take on the situation? Did she give hints that she was healing?

Well, on 10/12, I actually surprised her at her house with a dozen roses (she lives 1 1/2 hours away, mind you). She actually gave me a hug, I guess she could have just not let me in at all. But we talked for like 3 hours, and she just said that she didnt want this relationship, but said she cant predict the future and we may reconnect later on...

 

Since then, I havent talked to her. Ive written a few letters, and send 1 text message, but I havent heard back from any. When I went to her house, she even brought that up - that it was difficult for her NOT to respond to me. So, thats when I decided to go NC, since about Halloween. So I have no idea if she is still upset...how can I know if I am not in contact with her?

[pjammer]

Here 's some tough love pj: this means you're not ready to approach her. Doesn't she deserve to be approached by the best you? the you that's got his act together?

 

I know right now you feel like you'll never want anyone but her. It's obvious this woman has had a tremendous impact on your life. It seems like she made you become aware of all that you can be. And for this I think you'll always be thankful, whether or not it works out.

 

You're in a tough position right now because you need to find peace of mind about the situation to even be able to consider getting a second chance. Findind peace of mind means finding ways to let go and accept that even though we have no control over life, things happen for a reason (if only because we only live once and we have to make the most of it).

 

And maybe this even means that you have to accept that it's over.

 

good luck pj! and it will get easier.

You're probably right, I am not ready to approach her - I can admit that. Some days I feel like I am, and then I have days like today, that Im actually crying thinking about her when I see things that remind me of her. I dont even mind the bad days that much anymore before I love to think about her, because I DO love her so much! It is just so hard to be apart from someone who you love so much, and you cant even show her that. But like I said, I will see where I am at at the end of the month, and go from there...

[Kamille]

She gave you a hug but she said she doesn't want this relationship?

 

It sounds to me like she is no longer upset but that she wants to move on from the hurt and whatever emotional chaos the break-up and your actions provoked. It's a very mature 30 year old thing to do. By this age a lot of us know how to take care of ourselves and be happy despite forks in the road.

 

In september I had this very fun very brief vey intense relationship with a really sweet great younger guy who nonetheless, for reasons outside of his control, really messed up. We also left it at ok not now maybe later. He doesn't want a second chance, at least not yet (he actually had unresolved feelings for an ex and as far as i know they're trying to figure it out).

 

Anyways, all that to say that if he was to ask for a second chance, I definitely would not want him to approach me feeling guilty or thinking I'm upset. That would be a major turn-off, mainly because it would mean he is making it all about him. And the reasons it didn't work out were already all about him.

 

He would need to approach me in a very casual way and be confident enough and together enough to make it about me.

 

Does that make sense? I have forgiven him and understood his actions. A few weeks ago I would have told him I did not want to pursue a relationship right then and there - but who knows maybe later. Now that I'm over him, I think fondly of him. So I guess what I'm saying is that in your case NC and taking time is on your side. And you need to be in a great place before you can ever approach her.

 

So let her go. I suggest you focus on yourself and enjoying life without her. Only once you do will you be a candidate for a second chance. That's the irony of second chances.

[pjammer]

She gave you a hug but she said she doesn't want this relationship?

 

It sounds to me like she is no longer upset but that she wants to move on from the hurt and whatever emotional chaos the break-up and your actions provoked. It's a very mature 30 year old thing to do. By this age a lot of us know how to take care of ourselves and be happy despite forks in the road.

 

In september I had this very fun very brief vey intense relationship with a really sweet great younger guy who nonetheless, for reasons outside of his control, really messed up. We also left it at ok not now maybe later. He doesn't want a second chance, at least not yet (he actually had unresolved feelings for an ex and as far as i know they're trying to figure it out).

 

Anyways, all that to say that if he was to ask for a second chance, I definitely would not want him to approach me feeling guilty or thinking I'm upset. That would be a major turn-off, mainly because it would mean he is making it all about him. And the reasons it didn't work out were already all about him.

 

He would need to approach me in a very casual way and be confident enough and together enough to make it about me.

 

Does that make sense? I have forgiven him and understood his actions. A few weeks ago I would have told him I did not want to pursue a relationship right then and there - but who knows maybe later. Now that I'm over him, I think fondly of him. So I guess what I'm saying is that in your case NC and taking time is on your side. And you need to be in a great place before you can ever approach her.

 

So let her go. I suggest you focus on yourself and enjoying life without her. Only once you do will you be a candidate for a second chance. That's the irony of second chances.

Well I dont know if the hug and wanting a relationship have to do with each other. She knew I drove 1 1/2 hours to just see her and talk. That is probably why she gave me a hug. But I cant just let her go. I am willing to take time away, work on myself, and give her time to herself, but I am not going to easily give up on someone that I love. And I know that I have to be in a better place before I approach her again, and I am working on that every day.

[theadventure50120]

You're probably right, I am not ready to approach her - I can admit that. Some days I feel like I am, and then I have days like today, that Im actually crying thinking about her when I see things that remind me of her. I dont even mind the bad days that much anymore before I love to think about her, because I DO love her so much! It is just so hard to be apart from someone who you love so much, and you cant even show her that. But like I said, I will see where I am at at the end of the month, and go from there...

 

When you don't care what happens then your ready. Go on a date with someone else if you have to , that made me realize exactly how i was with the ex at the start, and also made me think there isn't just her in this world.

 

It will give you confidence and practice for when you see her, and yeah you need to be everything you were back then when you first met that she liked you for , and keep at it everytime. Don't do it once and then go back. Or she will think it's an act.

 

Because if you do care what happens and she says something your not expecting or don't like your going to show it. Then she will think your still the same as she left you.

[pjammer]

When you don't care what happens then your ready. Go on a date with someone else if you have to , that made me realize exactly how i was with the ex at the start, and also made me think there isn't just her in this world.

 

It will give you confidence and practice for when you see her, and yeah you need to be everything you were back then when you first met that she liked you for , and keep at it everytime. Don't do it once and then go back. Or she will think it's an act.

 

Because if you do care what happens and she says something your not expecting or don't like your going to show it. Then she will think your still the same as she left you.

I actually did go on one "date." met a girl (well she approached me) when I was playing pool with one of my buddies at a bar about a week ago. She actually asked me out. We went for 1 date, didnt really go anywhere. That just made me appreciate my relationship with my ex that much more, and showed me how much I really do care and love her.

 

But you are right, I have to approach her when I dont care about the outcome, or atleast when I am prepared for the worst I guess. That is, if she is even willing to see me, which I dont know why she wouldnt be. B

 

But I think one of the reasons why she left me is because I didnt have a full-time job, and she kept hinting at me to pursue one, and I would sometimes bursh her off, or say she was nagging me, which now I know she wasnt. I can now see her POV - she has been established in a job for 8-9 years, and I was working part-time, even though I was looking for a job, I could have been doing a lot more. But now, I have a good job, and I have really turned my life around these past 6 weeks. I will see where I am at at the end of the month, and go from there. Hopefully, I will be ready by then, and hopefully she will be too.

[theadventure50120]

I actually did go on one "date." met a girl (well she approached me) when I was playing pool with one of my buddies at a bar about a week ago. She actually asked me out. We went for 1 date, didnt really go anywhere. That just made me appreciate my relationship with my ex that much more, and showed me how much I really do care and love her.

 

But you are right, I have to approach her when I dont care about the outcome, or atleast when I am prepared for the worst I guess. That is, if she is even willing to see me, which I dont know why she wouldnt be. B

 

But I think one of the reasons why she left me is because I didnt have a full-time job, and she kept hinting at me to pursue one, and I would sometimes bursh her off, or say she was nagging me, which now I know she wasnt. I can now see her POV - she has been established in a job for 8-9 years, and I was working part-time, even though I was looking for a job, I could have been doing a lot more. But now, I have a good job, and I have really turned my life around these past 6 weeks. I will see where I am at at the end of the month, and go from there. Hopefully, I will be ready by then, and hopefully she will be too.

 

Ok , get another date but you approach her. Pick someone you like the look of. I knew what i was expecting it was a friend of mine and we had alot in common. But we both had someone , now we don't. So i targeted her as i knew she was possibley the only person that could compare to the ex , as i do like her. I have stopped thinking of the ex every second of the day now.

 

But i know how you feel , i always thought no-one will compare to the ex , i looked at other girls and only seen her. Keep active until the end of the month then. But you need to do something that will make you stop thinking of her all the time.

 

If the job thing was the thing that got in the way last time then it's good that you got one now. But don't keep bringing it up that you have one and have turned your life around , it should be all the attitude with her. Or it will look like your trying to impress her.

[pjammer]

If the job thing was the thing that got in the way last time then it's good that you got one now. But don't keep bringing it up that you have one and have turned your life around , it should be all the attitude with her. Or it will look like your trying to impress her.

Oh I know, and fact is I havent even told her I got it yet. But I know I just have to be myself again, the same person she saw something in to begin with - because that really is me. If she does agree to see me, I am going to do my best NOT to bring up the past, but focus on the present, because what's done is done. Im young, and I f-ed up from time to time, but the bottom line is that I love her, and I will do anything to just get a chance to redeem myself.

[theadventure50120]

Oh I know, and fact is I havent even told her I got it yet. But I know I just have to be myself again, the same person she saw something in to begin with - because that really is me. If she does agree to see me, I am going to do my best NOT to bring up the past, but focus on the present, because what's done is done. Im young, and I f-ed up from time to time, but the bottom line is that I love her, and I will do anything to just get a chance to redeem myself.

 

Well slip the job part into what you been doing then atleast she knows you have one now...if she wants to talk about it then do it. But don't over do it.

[pjammer]

Well slip the job part into what you been doing then atleast she knows you have one now...if she wants to talk about it then do it. But don't over do it.

Yea, i know. When we talk, it has to be about her, and what she's been doing. Of course she will probably ask what Ive been doing, but I think it would be in my best interests to talk about her. And I am going to try my best to NOT bring up our relationship unless she does first.

[theadventure50120]

Yea, i know. When we talk, it has to be about her, and what she's been doing. Of course she will probably ask what Ive been doing, but I think it would be in my best interests to talk about her. And I am going to try my best to NOT bring up our relationship unless she does first.

 

You know what your doing it seems

 

Also don't think about it to much , your not 100% sure your going to get the meet up. Think about it when it's been arranged. I practiced everything i was going to do and i didn't even get it lol. But after that she seen me clubbing twice and i didn't pay any attention to her...ooops.

 

and yeah let her direct the conversation , you got to know where her comfort level is.

 

What i learnt is , when you plan things and try to guess how things are going to go it never does. But you seem to know how to talk and act with her anyway.