higherground5 Posted November 7, 2006 Share Posted November 7, 2006 So I've been dating this chick for about 3 months now, and we've been officially "together" for about 1 month. For some strange reason, I don't trust her at all, partially because I had a serious gf in the past who lied to me all the time. Also, I just get the feeling she's hiding something from me because she's very vague with her plans and has guy friends. I definitely don't complain about this to her, nor have I communicated to her that I don't trust her because the last thing I want to do is push her away or make her think I'm insecure. However, the other day at the end of an email I wrote ""this is kind of lame, but I just wanted to let you know I'm completely honest with you". Was this a bad thing to do? Unfortunately, I haven't received a response from her yet, but I guess I was putting my money on her saying the same thing to me. Also, the other day she crashed at my pad and said she loved me in the morning before going to work. So do you think a girl who says that would lie to me? When someone loves someone else, they should be completely honest, but are there exceptions? Should I completely ignore this? How do I communicate my concern to her without looking insecure? Please help people. Thanks. Forbin. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 8, 2006 Share Posted November 8, 2006 Anybody? Forbin Link to post Share on other sites
Author higherground5 Posted November 8, 2006 Author Share Posted November 8, 2006 Anyone? Forbin Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted November 8, 2006 Share Posted November 8, 2006 Was this a bad thing to do? Not necessarily bad, but most likely unproductive. she crashed at my pad and said she loved me ... So do you think a girl who says that would lie to me? They are two completely unrelated things. When someone loves someone else, they should be completely honest, but are there exceptions? Absolutely. Just browse around this site for a bit. How do I communicate my concern to her without looking insecure? It kind of depends on her. You could clearly state what concerns you have and why. She might get defensive, or she might call you insecure, or she might listen patiently and reassure you. I've dated plenty of girls who lie and one thing I do know is that there is no test you can do to protect yourself ahead of time. I used to try the same things. For example, what you said about being honest to see how she responds. Or even more direct methods like just flat out asking her if she's lying. Eventually I realized that none of that works. Nothing that she says is any guarantee that she'll be completely honest with you. The best thing you can do is not grill her about it and not worry about it (easier said than done). Just keep an eye out for any holes in things she says, or inconsistencies between what she says and what she does. Ultimately, what she does matters more than what she says. And always, always, always trust your gut. Link to post Share on other sites
nicki Posted November 8, 2006 Share Posted November 8, 2006 Good advice Tanbark. You are so right about not being able to do anything to guarantee someone's honesty. I've also tried it all, from being completely honest and upfront myself to checking up on someone all the time. I learned the same thing you did. To just relax and keep your eyes open for inconsistencies. Liars always slip up given enough time. Until then, it's best to enjoy life and relax. Then the inconsistencies will jump out at you. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted November 8, 2006 Share Posted November 8, 2006 Good advice Tanbark. Thanks Liars always slip up given enough time. Yep. I totally agree. Link to post Share on other sites
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