Jealousy

[Whe Me?]

This guy and I have been together for 2 years. I pretty much know all about his past regarding ex-girlfriends and what not and i've always tried to accept it. Well, I happened to make the BIG MISTAKE of telling him that I talked to my ex called last week and I spoke to him for 20 minutes. During my conversation with the ex, I realized that I truly had no romantic feelings for him left. I was just sharing the story with the current guy and he completely freaked out. He got very jealous, and starting saying really nasty things about me and this other guy (sexual and what not). He started saying that I was trying to make him jealous, that this guy was only calling me back to get action, and that I was stupid and naive for talking him. He even got mad that i never told my ex that i know have a new guy in my life. I explained to him that my ex never asked about who I was with now and the conversation never went there. I never had the opportunity to say it or else I would have in a second. My ex did mention getting together for drinks however I never agreed to any plans and would NOT go if he asked again.

 

Anyhow, this current guy is pissed off large. He is a jealous person as it is but he got really rude with me. He started comparing me to his ex and saying how she was smarter than me. He even said I was "stupid" in comparison. I'm so pissed off right now because his ex still calls him to this day and they talk on the pnone sometimes. It's ok for him but not for me?

 

I dont' know what to do now. I feel bad about this but I can't believe that I can't share this stuff with him. I can't believe his is such and hypocrite. Is this typical guy behaviour?

[Ed]

"Is this typical guy behaviour? "

 

No, but it is typical immature behavior. All the information you have supplied here indicates that this guy has a lot to learn. Unless you intend to put up with this kind of treatment for the rest of your life, you better cut things off pretty quick. Anytime you let someone get away with something like this, you help setup a standard of acceptable behavior.

 

The only certain option you have to make sure he never treats you this way again is to cut them off, break up, never go back. Any other option leaves the possibility that he could do it again.

 

One of the purposes of dating someone is to find out what kind of person they are, how they act and how they treat other people. All I can say is that this is one aspect of his personality. Take it or leave it. The choice is yours. Chances are, if you tell him you want to break up, he will want to apologize and tell he will never do it again. No one knows for sure if he will or not.

 

It is and always will be your responsibility to make sure you are treated respectfully by other people. Don't put up with poor treatment just for the sake of having a friend, boyfriend, husband or whatever. You will live a much happier life if you respect yourself and insist on nothing less from everybody else.

[Tony T]

No, this is not typical.

 

 

But neither is it typical that a lovely girl like yourself would choose to be the girlfriend of a guy who is jealous, rude, irrational, immature, dysfunctional, hypocritical, insane, prone to anger easilly, guilt-inducing, manipulating, etc,...not to mention the fact that you can't communicate honestly with him without starting World War III.

 

 

Me thinks the problem is with you, not with him.

 

 

Meditate on why you would want a person like that in your life, either temporarily or permanently.

 

 

I don't think you made a big mistake at all by giving him this information. You did yourself the biggest favor you could ever do yourself in your life by finding out what a super jerk you are with.

 

 

What you do from here...my bet is you will be able to figure out for yourself. Just don't think you'll change him. That won't happen...at least not for many years.