psychic or disillusioned?

[confusious]

Hmmm.. where to begin... Ive been in a relationship for 3 years. We just recentley moved in together in January. Lately we've had issues dealing with being on the right paths. Both of us are religious and share most of the same beliefs. Neither of us been married but agree when it does happen we both feel it will happen only once (no divorce). I've been blessed in the fact that I have parents who are each others first love and only love and are truely soulmates. I value greatly their relationship. His parents have been divorced and mother still remains single and been in and out of engagements since Ive known him. Lately he is confused about if this is his path and if he was going to ask me to marry him shouldn't he have already... I know his mother says mean things to him about me that he admits but hides from me so it wont hurt either of us. Ive tried to have a relationship with her because family is very big with me but she tends to be two-faced. Im 32 and been a single mom for almost 11 years. He's 27 and never had kids but was engaged once with a high school sweetheart who verbally and physically abused him. Ive tried to be very considerate of his past and show him Im not her so he won't be scared and take things slow. My main problem is that Im confused... Since childhood I've had so many dreams, sometimes many years ahead of the actual event that takes place come true. Ive even called friends and have said such and such is going to happen and you will be the 1 with me and its happened. So many dreams like that its scary. Where the confusion lies is that Ive had many dreams of the past come true recentley. The most recent affirmation was brought back to me when I was in my backyard of my house I recently bought in Oct. planting flowers. I remembered that this was the house in my dreams where my bf and I currently live. I felt very happy and content knowing that I was right where I was supposed to be. I beleive when things like this happen they are affirmations that we are right on track, as is deja'vu. He understands who I am without judgement of my religious beliefs which comforts me. The thing is Ive never wanted to be with anyone like him before. My best gf told him when she first met him that if he was still around after 3 months then she would talk to him. Im strong independent and never been worried about much, it was to easy to walk away and find someone else. Well to make this long story shorter, how is it I can and recieve so many signs that he is my soulmate and the man whom I will marry and yet he feel confused and wants to be alone. We have always laughed about how we say things at the same exact time, we think things at the same moment, when 1 of us has a pain in a part of their body the feels it without prior knowledge. Before moving in together if 1 of us all of sudden felt sick or depressed we would call the other and ask whats wrong and as sure as you know what they were feeling like it. We have never had any major fights and we try not to argue or let it get to a blow up. But why is it I get affirmations ande he is getting scared and wants out? He is constantly telling me how happy he is to have ever met me and how much Ive opened his eyes and made him a better person but I dont understand why he is confused on whether or not I am his destiny. I have to admit I have made sure everything was done for him at home so he can focus on his new career these past 5 months. At times even leaving myself too available for him and maybe doing to much. Ive been a single sole responsible parent for the past 10 1/2 years Im kinda used to doing everything myself. But that if anything has made me a strong person that understands peoples feelings and have a better understanding of them. Its funny people come to me for advice but now Im coming to the internet for anyone's advice or comments, and opening up my life to strangers like this can be somewhat scary and hopefully not a sign of weakness. I know it was long and still probably not enough info to totally understand my situation but do I stay strong and fight for what I feel is signs of my destiny or do I let him go and dismiss what Ive beleived so much in?

[Ed]

I cannot really identify with you about these dreams. I don't believe dreams are some kind of predictor. At the same time, I don't have a problem with you or anyone else believing that dreams DO have some meaning about the future. To each their own.

 

Belief systems and religions (whatever the case may be) are fine and dandy as long as there are no major conflicts. The problem comes in when two people or groups of people have differing or conflicting opinions, values or beliefs. For instance, not everyone believes dreams have any meaning whatsoever or someone could have a dream that is in conflict with or predicts an outcome contrary to yours.

 

In your case, as long as your boyfriend "believes" that your dreams predict his future too, everything will be fine. All he would have to do is come to you for guidance on what to do next. On the other hand, maybe he doesn't put the same value on your dreams that you do or maybe a dream he had told him you are NOT supposed to stay together.

 

Regardless of what anybody believes, the fact is, you've got a problem. He is having second thoughts. I don't suggest you abandon your thoughts, hopes and dreams, however, you can't assume that everyone else (including him) thinks, hopes and dreams the same things you do. In the free societies of this world, people are free to think, believe and live any way they choose.

 

You have no choice but to let him be who he will be. You can try to force your destiny on him or try to convince him to believe one thing or another but, ultimately, it is his choice and his life. Don't hesitate to tell him how you feel, what you think and what you dream. After that, let him make up his own mind on what to do and which way to go.

 

Believe me, you don't want someone around that doesn't want to be there on their own volition. Why would you want it to be any other way?

[C]

I think when we love we assume that the other person loves us the same way. Because we've been dreaming about happiness with that person so much we persuaded ourselves that this is "our" love, something we both feel and share.

 

However the reality is different. It doesn't matter how much we love the person, how much we do for him, how much we think we are compatible and understanding of him. He has his own opinion and it's not the same as ours. Just because we love him, no matter how strong, doesn't mean he loves us too. We might think he is our destiny, but he doesn't feel the same way and there's nothing we can do about it but to let him go.

Hmmm.. where to begin... Ive been in a relationship for 3 years. We just recentley moved in together in January. Lately we've had issues dealing with being on the right paths. Both of us are religious and share most of the same beliefs. Neither of us been married but agree when it does happen we both feel it will happen only once (no divorce). I've been blessed in the fact that I have parents who are each others first love and only love and are truely soulmates. I value greatly their relationship. His parents have been divorced and mother still remains single and been in and out of engagements since Ive known him. Lately he is confused about if this is his path and if he was going to ask me to marry him shouldn't he have already... I know his mother says mean things to him about me that he admits but hides from me so it wont hurt either of us. Ive tried to have a relationship with her because family is very big with me but she tends to be two-faced. Im 32 and been a single mom for almost 11 years. He's 27 and never had kids but was engaged once with a high school sweetheart who verbally and physically abused him. Ive tried to be very considerate of his past and show him Im not her so he won't be scared and take things slow. My main problem is that Im confused... Since childhood I've had so many dreams, sometimes many years ahead of the actual event that takes place come true. Ive even called friends and have said such and such is going to happen and you will be the 1 with me and its happened. So many dreams like that its scary. Where the confusion lies is that Ive had many dreams of the past come true recentley. The most recent affirmation was brought back to me when I was in my backyard of my house I recently bought in Oct. planting flowers. I remembered that this was the house in my dreams where my bf and I currently live. I felt very happy and content knowing that I was right where I was supposed to be. I beleive when things like this happen they are affirmations that we are right on track, as is deja'vu. He understands who I am without judgement of my religious beliefs which comforts me. The thing is Ive never wanted to be with anyone like him before. My best gf told him when she first met him that if he was still around after 3 months then she would talk to him. Im strong independent and never been worried about much, it was to easy to walk away and find someone else. Well to make this long story shorter, how is it I can and recieve so many signs that he is my soulmate and the man whom I will marry and yet he feel confused and wants to be alone. We have always laughed about how we say things at the same exact time, we think things at the same moment, when 1 of us has a pain in a part of their body the feels it without prior knowledge. Before moving in together if 1 of us all of sudden felt sick or depressed we would call the other and ask whats wrong and as sure as you know what they were feeling like it. We have never had any major fights and we try not to argue or let it get to a blow up. But why is it I get affirmations ande he is getting scared and wants out? He is constantly telling me how happy he is to have ever met me and how much Ive opened his eyes and made him a better person but I dont understand why he is confused on whether or not I am his destiny. I have to admit I have made sure everything was done for him at home so he can focus on his new career these past 5 months. At times even leaving myself too available for him and maybe doing to much. Ive been a single sole responsible parent for the past 10 1/2 years Im kinda used to doing everything myself. But that if anything has made me a strong person that understands peoples feelings and have a better understanding of them. Its funny people come to me for advice but now Im coming to the internet for anyone's advice or comments, and opening up my life to strangers like this can be somewhat scary and hopefully not a sign of weakness. I know it was long and still probably not enough info to totally understand my situation but do I stay strong and fight for what I feel is signs of my destiny or do I let him go and dismiss what Ive beleived so much in?