"Men shouldn't talk about feelings and relationships"

[burning 4 revenge]

Alter ego has a point. Some women have this superiority complex where they think they are so emotionally deep and men are this simple creatures who can't possibly understand the female heart.

Yeah, but alot of them want this. They will complain about men being neanderthals, but when a man shows sensitivity and emotional complexity then he's a nancy-boy, a wuss and their "friend".

 

An yet, so many of the great artists and writers have been men. Sure, many of them were gay, but they were still men.

[burning 4 revenge]

I believe that there are 2 types of women: those who prefer the take-charge men, and those who prefer men such as yourself, who are extremely romantic, artsy, "dreamers" and poets... Besides, a man writing his woman romantic love letters .... isn't it a classic that every little girl dreams about? I believe the world is plenty of both of these types..

Well, I 'd like to meet more of the second type, because I've been dissapointed so many times to find when I assumed by their personality that they may be like that, they were in fact more like the first.

[alphamale]

They will complain about men being neanderthals, but when a man shows sensitivity and emotional complexity then he's a nancy-boy, a wuss and their "friend".

Better to err on the side of insensitivity and lack of emotional depth...

[samsungxoxo]

If he's not compatibly with you then dump him. What he stated in genralizing the male gender is wrong. If that was right, then how come my b/f is more open when it comes to emotions and feeling while I tend to bottle it most of the times (until now that it) and it takes me soo long to open up.

[princessa]

Well, I 'd like to meet more of the second type, because I've been dissapointed so many times to find when I assumed by their personality that they may be like that, they were in fact more like the first.

 

Just embrace your own qualities, and don't try to change your personality to tailor it to what you think women might want. I know for a fact that women like this exist.. One of my girlfriends comes to mind.. Her fiance is pretty much your time.. he's romantic, sings her songs, writes her sweet letters, they take romantic pictures together imitatings scenes of classic romantic movies..... I on the other hand, am going out with this guy who... well like this thread says... is "manly" and closed up and unromantic. Well guess what, when we both sit down and talk about our relationships.. she complains about her man being too clingy to her sometimes.. not rough enough around other guys to command respect..... ironically these are the traits that I find in my guy, and I complain about things such the lack of clinginess at times, or lack of romance.... For women I think we just have to look at the core qualities that made us fall in love with that guy, and be aware of what it implies to be with that type of guy.... It's almost as if sometiems we expect our guys to be 100% perfect and have contradicting character traits...... Perhaps the women you were with were not aware of that.... But then again calling you gay is straight up immature and insensitive in my opinion So I don't think you should worry about it.....

[princessa]

If he's not compatibly with you then dump him. What he stated in genralizing the male gender is wrong. If that was right, then how come my b/f is more open when it comes to emotions and feeling while I tend to bottle it most of the times (until now that it) and it takes me soo long to open up.

 

IMO sometimes compatibility is not as simple as a checklist..... Cosidering how relationships are supposed to be about compromising, there's a large gray area between where you end the compromise and start talking about incompatibility.. this is exactly my struggle.....

[alphamale]

One of my girlfriends comes to mind.. Her fiance is pretty much your time.. he's romantic, sings her songs, writes her sweet letters, they take romantic pictures together imitatings scenes of classic romantic movies..... I on the other hand, am going out with this guy who... well like this thread says... is "manly" and closed up and unromantic.

well your girlfriend is probably a tomboy skank and you're probably feminine and attractive. thats ususally the way it works.

[princessa]

well your girlfriend is probably a tomboy skank and you're probably feminine and attractive. thats ususally the way it works.

 

Her? TOMBOY?! Heeeeeellllllllll no =P

I'm more of a tomboy than she is, she's the one who's been trying to teach me how to cook so that "my man doesn't starve" for all these years... But I am totally against the idea!!! Lol.. But overall I'd say we're both very feminine

[burning 4 revenge]

well your girlfriend is probably a tomboy skank and you're probably feminine and attractive. thats ususally the way it works.

the x gf in question was a feminine skank

[burning 4 revenge]

One of my girlfriends comes to mind.. Her fiance is pretty much your time.. he's romantic, sings her songs, writes her sweet letters, they take romantic pictures together imitatings scenes of classic romantic movies..... I on the other hand, am going out with this guy who... well like this thread says... is "manly" and closed up and unromantic. Well guess what, when we both sit down and talk about our relationships.. she complains about her man being too clingy to her sometimes.. not rough enough around other guys to command respect.....

Why do I get the feeling someone is getting dumped soon?

[princessa]

Why do I get the feeling someone is getting dumped soon?

 

Nah uhhhh!! You're missing my whole point!!!!

[Grrlish]

I went through the emotional wringer in my last relationship and I wound up with some communication difficulties (i.e., stopped communicating openly). My current boyfriend is an excellent communicator, including about his feelings, my feelings, and our relationship. He is more expressive than I am, although I am consciously trying to catch up.

 

His willingness...his interest...in communicating openly about these things has been encouraged me to continue learning to open up again. He strives...pushes...to discuss difficult and/or uncomfortable topics or issues that arise so that we can establish our level of compatibility and strengthen our growing bond.

 

You can't 'make' him open up. He either will or he won't. Your profile says that you're 21 so I'm assuming that he's close to your age. Maybe he'll learn to open up but I wouldn't hold your breath because there's no way to know if he will. Not all people do; some never do.

 

Telling you that if you ever get married he'll hire someone else to take care of the emotional BS is pretty much telling you not to count on him ever opening up.

 

Unfortunately, people often tell us what they're all about and we choose not to listen. Especially women. Many women tend to believe that a guy will change, in time. That they're eyes will open and they'll see the 'error of their ways'.

 

We need to learn to take people at face value and quit trying to figure people out.

 

If a guy isn't willing to communicate with me, I'm outta there. I refuse to 'guess' at what's going on any more - because chances are that I'll guess wrong.

 

Good luck, sweetie.

 

EDIT: I do not mean to imply that all or even most younger guys can't, don't or won't communicate openly. When I was in my 20s, I dated guys in their 20s that were pretty good communicators.

[brodipherus]

... is what my guy said to me last night. I still can't BELIEVE he actually thinks that. It's not really that much of a surprise, I've known for a while that he is totally shut down emotionally.... But I was hoping that at least through talking about the relationship in general we could improve things and I could get him to express his feelings indirectly.. that through talking and listening I would be able to get my emotional needs met... But he doesn't even understand that.. All he wants is for me to be happy, relaxed, and having fun with him. Simple as that, he says. So how do does a woman get her emotional needs met without being able to talk??????????? This is beyond me

getting through to an unwilling man is very difficult.it will take years.make sure you are willing to endure a lot of resistance.measure your options.

[Rooster_DAR]

I believe that there are 2 types of women: those who prefer the take-charge men, and those who prefer men such as yourself, who are extremely romantic, artsy, "dreamers" and poets... Besides, a man writing his woman romantic love letters .... isn't it a classic that every little girl dreams about? I believe the world is plenty of both of these types..

 

Unfortunately it's just that, a dream and fantasy. I always here women say they want a man like you're describing, but lo and behold after a while he is a doormat, clingy, wussy, and whatever else there is in the book. I myself wrote my EX several loveletters, built her nice butterfly houses professing my love for her in a secret text inside of them, and put secret letters in the frames of our living room pictures, I I meant every word I wrote. She is now in an affair with a co-worker and I have been swept aside like dust in the wind. The true fact is that humans are not naturally monogamous, only cultured by modern society. Although some of us can and will remain monogamous, I think the majority of the race are not capable by nature and will always be drawn to intimacy with someone new at some point.

 

Regards,!

[princessa]

Well, maybe she had a problem.. don't project that on all other women!

[Rooster_DAR]

Well, maybe she had a problem.. don't project that on all other women!

 

Yes, I will re-iterate. Not all women, but many of them in my experience.

[princessa]

Yes, I will re-iterate. Not all women, but many of them in my experience.

 

That's better

IMO it's hard to find somebody who will appreciate you for who you truly are. Otheriwse nobody could stay single for more than a week.. they're rare but eventually you find them....

[Pyro]

That's better

IMO it's hard to find somebody who will appreciate you for who you truly are. Otheriwse nobody could stay single for more than a week.. they're rare but eventually you find them....

 

Ain't that the truth. The key is to be patient. You can't expect to meet that type right away. Thats the problem I see alot. People get frustrated that they meet the wrong type and they get frustrated and label all men/women to be the same as those bad ones.

[princessa]

Or worse, settle for somebody who's convenient and/or lower than their standards.

[Pyro]

Or worse, settle for somebody who's convenient and/or lower than their standards.

 

I don't know which is worse. Someone who is not patient tends to become bitter and negative toward the opposite sex and the one's who settle for less will complain that they are not happy with their decision.

[Trialbyfire]

*wistful sigh*

 

A guy that can communicate? I can only wish.

[magichands]

A guy that can communicate? I can only wish.

They can communicate viruses easily enough.

 

But seriously, I know. The only ones that can share their true feelings are gay. Pass me a beer, sweetheart.

[Pyro]

*wistful sigh*

 

A guy that can communicate? I can only wish.

 

Trust me, we are out there. It took me forever to find a gal that can communicate with me, but it happened.

[Pyro]

But seriously, I know. The only ones that can share their true feelings are gay. Pass me a beer, sweetheart.

 

:lmao:

Its a good thing that you are never serious when you post.

[Trialbyfire]

They can communicate viruses easily enough.

 

But seriously, I know. The only ones that can share their true feelings are gay. Pass me a beer, sweetheart.

I know they're out there somewhere and one day will be my lucky day. Beers in the fridge second shelf...

 

 

Trust me, we are out there. It took me forever to find a gal that can communicate with me, but it happened.

Thanks. You're such a sweetie.