I'm finally going to do it but don't know how!

[crazy_grl]

He claims they're only friends and connected strongly, yet she will be staying at his house and will be 'too busy' to see me for the week while she's here.

 

Oh hell no! That's not acceptable behavior in my book. If my guy expected to have some girl he just met stay with him, he'd better offer to let me stay at his place the whole time. Even then, it'd be a little questionable. There's no way I'd let him get by having a girl stay with him for a week and telling me he'll be too busy to see me while she's there.

 

Fun, a lot of the time you jump to conclusions too quickly, but you're absolutely right to think this is inappropriate and highly suspicious.

 

I've been trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but this is too much. I say dump him now.

 

My therapist is great but we haven't gotten past my childhood yet so I am not able to talk about any of the problems I am facing in my life right now. I feel stuck and alone and so hurt.

 

Tell your therapist that you want to talk about your current problems. It's your money, you should get to talk about the problems you want to talk about.

[crazy_grl]

it is beyond unethical for a therapist to become involved with a client - that is something so wrong and u should report him and find another right away.

 

I think you're confusing things, guest. The bf and the therapist are 2 different people.

[Fun2BMe]

I've been somewhat holding up ok but as of today I've totally lost it and can't stop crying and really starting to feel the hurt. How could he be so casual about being with another woman and at the same time, be able to just ignore me?

 

He did leave me a vm yesterday I figure it was before she flew in probably but I didn't call back and I never heard from him today. I imagine they are rekindling where they may have left off. How am I supposed to go on this whole week knowing they are together? He is acting indifferent and as if he doesn't notice I am upset, asking "what's wrong" the last time I saw him Thursday. I said I was just in one of my quiet moods.

 

The whole week this past week he made excuses why I couldn't go to see him. Either he was too tired and needed to go to bed early and on Thursday we met at a restaurant where we drove separately to since he had a meeting beforehand and needed to get to bed early. It's as if he was intentionally avoiding getting into a physical situation with me, which tells me he must really be into her and saving himself for her and now I have to sit here imagining what they must be up to.

 

I wish he never contacted me after we were apart for two years. I wish I never went back to him. I wish I wouldn't have put up with so much for him only to end up being treated like a doormat, all those lonely nights I was thinking about him while he was away, all the things I've gone through only to end up like this.

 

As for the therapist, if you remember he is friends with my bf so up until now I have been holding out on spilling the beans as to how I think he's been treating me and say nice things about him. I don't want to ruin his reputation so I don't know, maybe for revenge should I tell the therapist what type of a person he is? I know you guys can tell me to just go to another therapist, but i really think this guy is brilliant and I guess in a strange way it might be a plus that he knows him, so he doesn't have to take my word on how I describe him, he might know some things about him that even I don't know so all of a sudden I am focusing on what to say in therapy.

 

On the one hand I'm tempted to quit them so my bf finds and and maybe he will be concerned that I am so upset. I mean he was so caring and wanted me to get help and now he just exits and goes to the arms of another woman! I don't know what to do.

 

When he first told me this girl was coming to visit, I sent him an email telling him I no longer wanted to see him, that we could continue to email or talk on the phone maybe but that I was hurt how he closed the door on me as soon as he was interested in another girl. He told me I was wrong, kept calling me nonstop and emailing me and talked to me convincingly in person that she is just a friend and if anything more developed he would tell me, so on the one hand I do want to give him the benefit of a doubt but on the other I feel like I must be an idiot to. I just don't know, the thought that I could be wrong makes me feel a little better at least.

[norajane]

talked to me convincingly in person that she is just a friend and if anything more developed he would tell me,

 

If anything more developed he would tell you? Excuse me?

 

No. Fun, this is the part where you need to draw the line and break up with him. Do something good for yourself!

 

 

As for the therapist, either talk to him and tell him everything on your mind, or find one that you can talk to. Therapy can't help you unless you talk about the things that are on your mind.

[whichwayisup]

I wish he never contacted me after we were apart for two years. I wish I never went back to him. I wish I wouldn't have put up with so much for him only to end up being treated like a doormat, all those lonely nights I was thinking about him while he was away, all the things I've gone through only to end up like this.

 

Well, right now you're in a position to DO something about it all. And you know what I'm going to say. Break up with him!

 

Not sure if you're going to agree with me or not, but if I were in your shoes, I'd consider getting another therapist. Stick with this one until you find another to talk to though.

[Fun2BMe]

Should I pretend I've met someone myself? I mean if he does fall for her and I tell him I don't want to see him anymore, then I guess he won't care. I wish I had done it earlier so that I wouldn't be in this situation right now, I wouldn't even have known about it. Do I ignore him, tell him I don't want to see him anymore or what exactly should I do? I feel like if i break it off while she's still here, he will find more comfort in her. I guess I shouldn't care anymore at this point. It's hard to believe how selfish he is so I keep making excuses for him but I guess he thinks he can get away with whatever he wants, seeing how I have fallen for all lhis excuses and always forgive him. I guess I'm the fool after all.

 

And I do feel like the therapist discusses some of the things I tell him bec my bf would bring up some of it. I don't want to be rude and cancel my next appt but I feel like I don't want to have anything to do with him or my bf and move on, but I do have a little crush on the therapist which will keep me going back to him I think even at the expense of not feeling I can talk to him openly about everything.

[whichwayisup]

No. No need to lie or play games with him at all. Infact, I think he'll feel worse if you end it and tell him you'd rather be alone than stay with him!

 

You can do this and trust me, once you end it, the weight off your shoulders will disappear. Yeah you'll be upset, and it will hurt, but atleast you have control back over your own life, and you can start to heal, and get over him.

 

You're not a fool, you just love him and are letting your emotions, your heart rule your head. So, start listening to your head and know that you're doing the right thing for YOU now. Put YOU first.

[whichwayisup]

Do I ignore him, tell him I don't want to see him anymore or what exactly should I do?

 

You just say it. Tell him that he makes you miserable and you want it to be over. Plain and simple! You don't owe him any big explanations, and truth be told, I think if you make a song and dance about it, he won't react the way you want him to...SO, short and to the point, end it and move on.

[Fun2BMe]

Today my therapy session went very well and I am feeling much better. Therapy is the best thing I've ever done for myself. I was able to talk more about my problems and the therapist is just wonderful at knowing what to say to make me hurt less.

 

The bf had left a vm Friday and up until tonight - sat, sun and monday, he never called or contacted me. Tonight he sent an email asking how I was doing and if I wanted to meet his friend visiting him. I wrote back that I was too busy this week so wouldn't be able to. I told him I was going to go to a gathering Wed evening by our mutual friend bec. I saw on the email that he was invited too but thought he wouldn't go since he is busy with the guest and maybe she wouldn't fit in to that type of gathering. He wrote back that he might go and if he does he will take the friend with him.

 

I immediately emailed back that I don't want to meet her and if he plans on going to let me know so I don't rsvp. He hasn't written back after that so now I don't know if I acted too fast by saying that. Does it make me seem immature and insecure that I don't want to meet her? The truth is I would also prefer not to see him for a while until I cool down and then I can break it off or whatever, but I don't want them in my face and I really really wanted to go to this gathering.

 

In fact my therapist is going to be there too and he had encouraged me to go (keep in mind he is a friend of my bf so it is a tight circle of friends that I am now a part of first through my bf and now directly through the therapist), so now I feel like it's all ruined and am not sure if he has decided to go just becase I told him I was, but I wanted to know if he was or not so I'd know if I was going to go or not. So do I just go? Do I tell him I don't mind to see them there after all? How do I resolve this situation?

 

I did feel good doing NC from Fri to Mon then I gush out everything that's been going on in my life in my email and then he casually drops the bomb that he'll try to make it to the event and if he does he'll bring the girl visiting him. Is it really an innocent thing between them that I shouldn't worry about? Is it more than innocent and I should ignore them or else be very cordial? I don't know if it would be fair to me to not go just because of that stupid girl visiting him. Ok,maybe she's not stupid but I feel hurt he's with her. I would hate to see her all happy while I am feeling so sad inside.

[Fun2BMe]

I was hoping I'd get some advice. I really don't know what to make of this. He never wrote back after my last email telling him that if that girl was going then to let me know because then I wouldn't go. I guess that seems like I'm asking him to pick between me and her?

 

Well, today he emailed simply "I understand, I'll let you know" as to whether or not they would be going. I felt hurt he was so casual about it and wrote back that it's his group of friends, that he should go and I'll go another time and he has not responded so I take it he was wanting me to voluntarily back out going? I feel so upset right now. Was I supposed to meet her and be ok with the situation? Then why did he say he understands, that means he realizes I'd be upset to see her, all the while I feel like I'm this insecure jealous gf. Am I overreacting about this whole thing? Should I have not said I wouldn't go if she is?

[JamesM]

Fun2beme, after hearing the many complexities of this relationship, my advice is to break it off. Take time to solve your own problems thru therapy. Then and only then, pursue a relationship...but with a different guy who is more compatible with you.

 

If his relationship with this other girl is strictly platonic or if it is not, this doesn't matter so much that he is insensitive to your feelings. Either that or you are too sensitive to his actions. In either scenario, I think this shows that you two are not compatible.

 

I say this with YOUR best interests at heart...not his.

[Fun2BMe]

After giving it some thought, I have decided to really break it off with him. I ended up writing to him that it's his group of friends, so he should go i'll go another time. Then I emailed my sister the whole situation, she said to just go and not pay attention to them otherwise it'll make me look weak. She says not to even bother telling him I am going after all, but then he might email me that he won't be able to make it and it'll look like i'm going just because he's not.

 

I really am so over him. I think she's right, i should just go and be strong and talk to the other people. Plus my therapist wants to observe my interaction in group settings so I don't want to not benefit from this experience just because his hoochie girl is in town. I just don't know what exactly to write to him after exposing my insecurities that I wouldn't go if they are going. Should I say I changed my mind and it's ok if they go, that i'm going too? Or what should I say at this point?? But the good news is that I am so over him, I really am for once and for all. I can't imagine letting him touch me again.

 

I say this with YOUR best interests at heart...not his.

Thank you. You are right that he is insensitive to my feelings. He is very selfish in general and I am tired of putting up with it, to the point it's gotten that I am supposed to be ok with his other girl and meet her. Ugh, I feel so terrible for allowing him to treat me this poorly.

[norajane]

Just go and don't bother with any more email messages about the party. Who cares what you ex or his girl thinks? It's your life to live any way you want, especially now that your ex isn't in your heart anymore.

[Fun2BMe]

Just go and don't bother with any more email messages about the party. Who cares what you ex or his girl thinks? It's your life to live any way you want, especially now that your ex isn't in your heart anymore.

 

Ok, I think you must be right. Here is what my sister just emailed back:

 

-------

 

"Fun", you think way into this and that. You can’t be that way. Be simple. The truth is you had a change of heart and you went. You complicate things by thinking about giving explanations or excuses as to why you do what you do. You don’t owe him anything. You do what you want and you don’t worry about the little things. You are making things out of nothing.

 

"Bf": Are you going "Fun"? I am bringing "the ho" as a date.

 

"Fun": I don’t think I will be going.

 

At the engagement "bf" and "fun" run into eachother.

 

"Bf": Oh fancy seeing you here, I thought you weren’t going to be making it.

 

"Fun": Yes, I simply had a change of heart and so glad I did. It is so nice to see you………..

 

Bottom line, try it out. It makes life much less complicated!

 

---------------------

 

I guess I'll try it out, as nervous as I am about it.

[dgiirl]

Stop worrying about what he thinks and how you will look weak. Only a jerk will think someone else looks weak. Do what you want. Go to the party or dont go to the party. You dont need to discuss it at all with him.

 

Are you committed to breaking it off with him? Seriously, committed? Tell him it's over and STOP talking to him. Go straight NC and talk to your therapist about what is going on in your life. I really think you need a new therapist that is not so involved in your personal life. You cannot be completely honest if you have to worry about what he will think and say.

[Fun2BMe]

Stop worrying about what he thinks and how you will look weak. Only a jerk will think someone else looks weak. Do what you want. Go to the party or dont go to the party. You dont need to discuss it at all with him.

 

Are you committed to breaking it off with him? Seriously, committed? Tell him it's over and STOP talking to him. Go straight NC and talk to your therapist about what is going on in your life. I really think you need a new therapist that is not so involved in your personal life. You cannot be completely honest if you have to worry about what he will think and say.

 

Yes, I am totally committed to breaking it off with the bf. I think I already started the process and all I have to do is make it official by telling him. He is acting like the girl will be leaving soon then he will be able to give all his time back to me but screw that. I will do NC but at the party if he says something to me I will respond so I don't look immature, but i will make an effort to avoid him and talk as little as possible so he gets a clue.

 

As for the therapist, I had contemplated if it was a good idea to see him if he knows my bf and now is involved in my personal life. BUt I see that I am benefiting even more by this. He uses the social context to observe my interaction with otehrs and my bf and helps me improve on myself. As for knowing my bf, he is able to better advice me about him and the situation. And I am feeling comfortable opening up to him when I thought I wouldn't be able to because of them knowing each other. IN fact he told me yesterday that he's seen more progress in me in our 4 sessions than he does with an average patient in 4 months, so I think therapy really is the best thing I've done for myself and I have you guys to thank for that, otherwise no way was I willing to see one.

 

Anyways, I think I feel confident with just going WEd without further emailing him about anything. If he emails to say he won't go so I can or whatever, I'll just email back that I had decided to go anyways so he can choose to go or not w/o taking me into consideration.

[dgiirl]

"Fun", you think way into this and that. You can’t be that way. Be simple. The truth is you had a change of heart and you went. You complicate things by thinking about giving explanations or excuses as to why you do what you do. You don’t owe him anything. You do what you want and you don’t worry about the little things. You are making things out of nothing.

 

I agree with your sister! I have this problem too. Feel I need to make excuses. The problem is, excuses make the situation even worse. You put so much thought into rehearsing a reason for doing such and such, trying to draw attention away from being weak, yet that's exactly what you do, bring attention to the exact thing you're trying to hide.

 

It's really hard in the beginning to just say what you want/feel without excuses, but over time you'll see that it's in your benefit. For instance, I tend to have trouble telling men I'm not interested. At first, i thought i was lessening the blow to their ego by going "You're really sweet and I think you're a great guy, ...". And I would go on and on about how they are such a nice guy but I'm not interested. Or worse, coming up with excuses why I cannot go out with them, like i'm not ready to date, that i'm ****ed up in the head, that i have this and that to do, etc. It's like daggers to their chests. Just say what you feel. "I'm flattered, but I'm just not interested". They actually do respect the upfrontness.

 

With your guy, just tell him "I changed my mind". The end. No big production. Nothing. He cant argue with that. He cant think anything about it. He cant use it against you. Because you gave him no ammunition. You changed your mind. Sweet and simple.

[crazy_grl]

Fun, your sister sounds like a smart woman. Listen to her.

 

Go to the party if you want. You don't have to tell him you're going, and you don't have to explain to him why you're there. However, if you're going to be a wreck because you see him there with her, don't go. Do what's best for you.

 

He's being completely insensitive and selfish. Now it's your turn.

 

Dump him, stay single, and keep going to therapy.

[Fun2BMe]

He's being completely insensitive and selfish. Now it's your turn.

 

Dump him, stay single, and keep going to therapy.

 

I needed confirmation that he is insensitive and selfish instead of making excuses for how he has been treating me. I feel very confident about my decision now to move on already. thnx.

 

I agree with your sister! I have this problem too. Feel I need to make excuses. The problem is, excuses make the situation even worse. You put so much thought into rehearsing a reason for doing such and such, trying to draw attention away from being weak, yet that's exactly what you do, bring attention to the exact thing you're trying to hide.

That is very true and a good way to state it. I started out making excuses not to see him this week then finally admitted I didn't want to meet her, showing my weakness when I was trying to cover it up with excuses. I am so over him now that I even am starting to look forward to Wed so he can see how I don't care for him any more. Once she goes back, it'll hit him like a ton of bricks what he has done.

[Fun2BMe]

Well, this is the email he just sent me responding to the one I had written stating that I thought he should go since most were his friends, that I would go another time:

 

----------

I'm not sure I'm going to go yet, I'll let you know by tomorrow morning.......keep me posted on the project you're working on at work....best of luck with it!!!

 

"bf"

--------------------

 

Is he completely clueless that I am upset at him? This only makes me more upset, the thought that he is going to keep me in this state of limbo til tomorrow, knowing that if he goes with her I am not going and not offering not to go or calling to talk to me about it. That's why I was thinking of emailing him first that I had alrady decided to go regardless of his decision so it doesn't look like i'm going just because he's not.

 

I also thought he'd offer to go without her just so he'd see me but basically he's saying it's him and her together there or nothing! I can't help but feel all hurt, I hate him so much right now, and the fact he's so clueless and asking me about my work really is the last straw. How can he be so insensitive? Am I supposed to ignore his email and just wait to be told by him if he's going or not? Chances are he'll end up writing that he's not going after all, and I'm going to feel stupid going like I was a cause for them not to go and I end up going knowing I kept them away.

 

This just seems all wrong and I want to be classy about it. My sister said not to email her any more about this situation because she is busy at work and thinks I am reading too much into it but I guess I'm not as skillful at handling these types of situations that seem so simple to others

 

Should I write back that I've already decided not to go so he doesn't have to tell me if he is or not? I don't want to be this pathetic person sitting here waiting to hear from him when I bet he already knows whether or not he'll be going. I feel hurt all over again. SHould I write back something like I don't care to talk to him anymore so he doesn't have to let me know whether or not he will be going? And then I'll just go anyways without knowing if he'll be there or not, just for myself.

[crazy_grl]

Is he completely clueless that I am upset at him?

 

You should have told him right away that this upset you instead of hiding it. Like with all the other things, you shouldn't expect him to just know what bothers you. BUT in this case, even if it's not obvious, he should at least have a clue. No person in their right mind is going to have no problem with their SO spending a week alone with someone of the opposite sex they just met.

 

He's either completely dense and/or doesn't care about your feelings or he's doing these things trying to deliberately push you into admitting these things (which are getting progressively worse) bother you. If it's the latter, that's just twisted. Either way, he deserves to be dumped.

 

This only makes me more upset, the thought that he is going to keep me in this state of limbo til tomorrow, knowing that if he goes with her I am not going and not offering not to go or calling to talk to me about it. That's why I was thinking of emailing him first that I had alrady decided to go regardless of his decision so it doesn't look like i'm going just because he's not.

 

Stop thinking about it. Stop worrying about what he thinks, what he's doing, etc.

 

Should I write back that I've already decided not to go so he doesn't have to tell me if he is or not? I don't want to be this pathetic person sitting here waiting to hear from him when I bet he already knows whether or not he'll be going.

 

Don't send him anything. You're not a pathetic person waiting to hear whether he goes. Didn't you already make up your mind to go whether he does or not??

[Fun2BMe]

Don't send him anything. You're not a pathetic person waiting to hear whether he goes. Didn't you already make up your mind to go whether he does or not??

 

I thought I had it all figured out, was going to not write again and just go to the event, but when he suddenly sent an email stating that he would let me know in the morning if he was going to go or not, making it 100% about the other girl and her schedule since he wasn't sure exactly when she was leaving (at least that's what he told me, which doesn't make sense to me how someone can't know when their return flight is. Maybe it depends on them planning on spending more time together?).

 

Anyways, I wrote back that since he is so non-intuitive to how I am feeling and is acting selfish towards me, that I will let him know that I am no longer planning on talking to him so he doesn't have to let me know whether or not he is going because I don't care anymore!

 

He has not responded and I think I did the right thing, not to want to have anything to do with him anymore. I hope it doesn't come across that I am an insecure jealous person who can't handle him spending some time with another woman, but I can't help but feel it is all wrong and that he is treating me poorly. I am planning on going without rsvp-ing so his friend won't tell lhim I am going and will just show up since the therapist invited me himself anyways. I won't know if he's going or not, I want this to be about what is best for me without catering to him and his new 'friend'.

 

I feel so much better now but what is surprising me is that whereas before I was intent on hurting him, right now I really do hope he isn't hurt. I think this is the right thing to do and it is not about getting back or anything like that. I hope he realizes that. Thanks everyone for the support. I think I did what is right for a change.

 

--------------

Edit- He just sent a lengthy email telling me I said the things in my email in haste and under duress, that if he was selfish he wouldn't be in contact with me this week while he's busy, that I should discuss this situation with the therapist and he'll get back to me next week hoping I will respond positively.

 

But this only confirms to me that I have done the right thing. I thought he'd be calling or asking me to call so we could talk, yet now I am conveniently out of the picture so he doesn't have to be responsible to me while the guest is still with him, thinking the therapist will show i am wrong then I'll be running back to him next week. I'm not going to waste my money talking about this particular situation with the therapist.

 

I am so over him that I don't need anyone to validate it or change my mind. I am so happy I told him I don't want to talk to him anymore. I don't even want to respond to his email or take any more of his calls, I am so over him!!

[crazy_grl]

I hope it doesn't come across that I am an insecure jealous person who can't handle him spending some time with another woman, but I can't help but feel it is all wrong and that he is treating me poorly.

 

Maybe you're being insecure and jealous, but the major thing to realize here is that it's justified. This is something that it's completely reasonable to be jealous about. Can you think of any woman who'd be ok with her bf having a girl at his house for a week and claiming he can't see her because he's "busy"? That's ridiculous. If he expects to find a girl who'll be ok with that, then good luck to him. He'll need it.

 

It's ok to stand up for yourself and say "No, I don't like that." That's not weak. Weakness is when you have a problem with something that any sane person would have but are too scared to say it because of what someone might think of you. Fun, I think you need to learn to judge what's reasonable to be upset over and what's not.

 

Edit- He just sent a lengthy email telling me I said the things in my email in haste and under duress, that if he was selfish he wouldn't be in contact with me this week while he's busy, that I should discuss this situation with the therapist and he'll get back to me next week hoping I will respond positively.

 

OMG. I can't believe he said that. How generous of him to take time out of his busy day to email his gf.

 

But this only confirms to me that I have done the right thing. I thought he'd be calling or asking me to call so we could talk, yet now I am conveniently out of the picture so he doesn't have to be responsible to me while the guest is still with him, thinking the therapist will show i am wrong then I'll be running back to him next week. I'm not going to waste my money talking about this particular situation with the therapist.

 

I am so over him that I don't need anyone to validate it or change my mind. I am so happy I told him I don't want to talk to him anymore. I don't even want to respond to his email or take any more of his calls, I am so over him!!

 

Good for you. I suspect (and hope) that in the near future you'll read back over these threads from the last few months and ask yourself, "What the heck was I thinking?"

[Fun2BMe]

Maybe you're being insecure and jealous, but the major thing to realize here is that it's justified. This is something that it's completely reasonable to be jealous about. Can you think of any woman who'd be ok with her bf having a girl at his house for a week and claiming he can't see her because he's "busy"? That's ridiculous. If he expects to find a girl who'll be ok with that, then good luck to him. He'll need it.

 

It's ok to stand up for yourself and say "No, I don't like that." That's not weak. Weakness is when you have a problem with something that any sane person would have but are too scared to say it because of what someone might think of you. Fun, I think you need to learn to judge what's reasonable to be upset over and what's not.

You are so right.

 

 

 

OMG. I can't believe he said that. How generous of him to take time out of his busy day to email his gf.

Well this is what my sister wrote back to me when I forwarded his email to her:

"Wow, he is a sociopath! Seriously. How cold hearted is he that he thinks he is doing you a favor by talking to you this week by interrupting his rand de vu, you know what I mean?

Ya I am so glad you are seeing clearly and am very very proud of you!"

 

 

She had also written the following to motivate me to send that email:

 

"Speak out for yourself. You wont get respect if you don’t respect yourself first! Trust me on this. Guys like girls who don’t take **** and are bad ass! That is what Mike Loved about me. He tells me that all the time. I was very strong minded and opinionated and let everyone know. He said that is what really attracted me to him Just like in the movies, men love smart women you are witty and sassy"

 

And then after I sent the email telling him I don't want to talk to him anymore she wrote:

"Yes, see doesn’t that feel good!!!!!!!!!! Screw him. You need to be sassy, whitty , and confident. I bet if you acted that way you would feel that way and you wouldn’t be so depressed. You probably get depressed from the stress of not being confident and speaking your mind. Walk the walk and talk the talk. It is time to snap out of being someone trapped in a shell. Break out of it and live life. Surprise your therapist that you cured yourself quickly! You woke up one day and finally said today I am living my life my way!!!!!!!!! Cause it’s your life it’s your only chance to do it your way:)"

 

 

 

Good for you. I suspect (and hope) that in the near future you'll read back over these threads from the last few months and ask yourself, "What the heck was I thinking?"

I'm already at the stage of thinking what was I thinking. I mean just this morning I woke up depressed he hadn't emailed back yet and feeling down about this whole thing, but now that I verbalized how I felt I am feeling cured and so over him it's amazing, so thanks again! I should print this out to put in my purse to give me some support tomorrow night in case I run into him. I guess I have been getting good advice for a while now but am finally taking action...

[Green]

what a turn in developments please keep me posted