Breaking Up for NO Reason Articulated

[HollyChristina]

Hello All:

I am new here but have read this site several times in an effort to figure out what and why this happened. In a nutshell, I was the "older woman" of the relationship, (I am 44, he is 29) and to be frank, took quite a risk with dating a younger man. He seemed more mature than his age and his wisdom was beyond his years. I may have mistaken his intellectual intensity for emotional maturity. Anyway, everything was great, he had a separate apartment, I made no demands and everything was going great. He approached me after 6 months and said he wants to see other people, I said fine. He got upset and came running back which made me believe he really wanted to be with me. We were together another 6 months then he suddenly calls (after being out of state with his relatives for 4 days) and says the same damned thing. I try to be a tough guy (yeah, I'm a litigation attorney and therefore impervious to pain) and say whatever but I am so broken inside and it hurts more than anything because I really cared about him. I got divorced after a 18 year marriage in 2000 and this is the first man I really cared about. Now I am ready to throw in the towel and just be an old lady living with cats. Any advice appreciated.

[whichwayisup]

I think he isn't ready for "one" serious girlfriend. At 29 he isn't ready to settle down...

 

Maybe it's time (for your sake) is to end it for good, stop letting him go date others and then come back to you.

 

He's emotionally attached to you ofcourse, which is why he keeps trying to leave, but then comes back. Problem is - HE isn't over you! He needs to get over you and be alone before getting involved with someone else. As I said, if you keep allowing him back, he's gonna hurt you more and more when he leaves again.

 

And right now I know you can't see yourself getting involved with someone else, but you know eventually when the time is right, you'll meet another man.