gordon_gc Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 A few weeks back, I met a girl at a friend's party. She is actually the one who came to me. Description ? nice girl (nothing that would suggest a promiscuious behavior)... The last few months, I've been seeing girls on one night stand basis and for once, I seriously thought this could work and be a bit more serious than usual. I took her number, got in touch via text messages the next few days then nothing, she suddenly stopped contacts. At this point, I felt really dissapointed and gave it a last shot by text messaging to tell her I really would have loved to see her again. A few days later, she got back to me (no credits so far) and suggested to catch up. I agreed and since then, nothing. Today, I called but no answer. I don't like to jump to conclusion to why or why not a person stop contacting someone else but don't really know what to think It's like everytime i meet a nice girl, it doesnt lead to anything good. What should I do ? What would u do ? (try one last time, give up, etc..) Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 I'm in the same situation, it's like you almost read my mind, only difference is that I'm a girl and the guy is what I like to refer to as indifferent. I'd love to hear what people say about this one. I've been keeping it cool and haven't contacted him again since our last conversation that I made the call. It's been 7 days (not that I'm counting) and nothing. When we talk he seems excited, loving, interested and keeps indicating we need to get together, but as soon as the phone is down nothing. So my policy is, which would differ from yours cause your a guy, but if they don't do some effort then let it go. As they say, it takes two to tango. Take it slow and good luck on this one Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 Can you clarify some? You didn't have a one night stand with this girl, or you did? I saw two things that would stop me from contacting you. You only "spoke" through text messages. It doesn't send a very good impression of you. To be blunt.. it makes a guy look like he's a chicken with no back bone. If you like a girl and she gives you her number, then Call her and ask her out. Don't resort to hiding behind text messages. The other is the one night stand business. Only because it would send the impression that you view women as sexual objects and not as "partners". But I don't know if someone would have told her about your past, or how she could know. Anyway.. I think you might have had more favorable results if you had actually called her from the get-go and left text messaging for instances just saying "I'll call you after this meeting." Plus, instead of allowing a "suggestion" of catching up, why not take the lead and set it up. Ask her to meet you at a designated place at a certain time to hang out. If she doesn't show, then forget her. Chances are she'll show though. Then you can let your charm and good looks do the work for you. I don't know what to suggest now though... I think if I were you I would try one last time. But only once. I'd call and if I actually talked to her I'd ask her out. If she doesn't answer, then I wouldn't even leave a message. I'd drop it at that point. Then the next girl I'd leave text messaging out of the initial stages and ask her out much earlier. (Text messaging leaves SOoooooo much to interpretation... can very easily be taken in ways you never meant.) Link to post Share on other sites
Author gordon_gc Posted November 9, 2006 Author Share Posted November 9, 2006 Hi, in some way, i do agree with the last comment given (made by Walk) and thank you a lot for your insight...its always good to have different perspectives. Reasons why I messaged ? Because I feel more comfortable in it...not that I am a chicken but simply that : 1/English is not my first language (I am French leaving in Australia) 2/I do feel text messages are now part of how we communicate in our society (with calls, instant messengers, emails, etc...). Of course, I do agree that calling has the big advantage of clarifying things straight up. The person doesn't answer, it means she/he is busy or simply doesnt want talk to you. She/he answers, it gives a chance to get an answer straight to what you want. Text messages have that disadvantages of leaving the person begging and hoping to a reply...it is stressful. Now, regarding my one night stand, she doesn't know about it and she cannot know. Also, this is not the topic but i don't think I see the opposite sex as sexual objects. you need to be a minimum of 2 to have intercourse, it's an exchange (i have always been really clear when my intentions were such). Anyway, back to the topic, I would appreciate more insight on the topic of what to do now. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
exotic_angel Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 honestly.. i know this sounds morbid.. but i tink if someone doesn't call back or respond, no matter how sweet, sincere and open they may seem. They are just not intrested - when a guy is into a girl and vise versa he/she will make the effort no matter wat... Link to post Share on other sites
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